Need serious help, I'm in trouble.....

lowrider007 said:
I'm 34, I just can't believe this is happening to me as an adult, I really thought I left this behind years ago in school, now I don't know what to do, I have no money so it's hard to run away, although I could stay at my nans up country but she is old and frail now and I don't won't to burden her
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I doubt I can offer you solid advice, but try looking at this another way. Maybe you could head up country to help look after your nan, rather than have her look after you.

Take some time in a clearer environment and try your best to man up (not in the sense of going back to fight him, but in the sense of looking towards your future and how you're going to achieve the life you want). I understand things might not be as simple as idiot forum posters like me perceive them, but living in such a crappy place can't be good for your already so-called fragile self esteem.
 
Shakeel said:
Really hope thing get better for you. Sorry for the stupid question can you not stay with your parents or brothers/sisters?
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My sister is living in a mental institution, things are awkward with my mum, plus she has a full house, and my dad has been a raging alcoholic since he separated from my mum, he lives in a small flat and has homeless alcoholics staying around which is against his tenancy agreement which is why the housing association is trying to throw him out.


Castiel said:
MY only real advice would be to move out of the house regardless of what the chap may do. Go to your Gran or a friend and take a few days to sort yourself out.

Find another room to rent within travelling distance to work and begin thinking about looking for work in another area. It sounds as though you are stuck in a rut with little chance of ever improving your situation until you change something.

Treat this as an opportunity to drag yourself out of the situation you are in. Remember that as soon as you are out of the sight of this fool he is likely to forget about you in short order, his self hate will focus on other things more immediate to his vicinity and if he is saying that he is going to get others to hassle you, it is because he is a bully who is afraid of the consequences of doing it himself. People who are genuinely hard don't talk about what they are going to do, they simply do it.

I don't know where you live, but as hard as it may be, changing your life situation seems like something you want and need to do. Use this jerkoff as the catalyst.

You can PM me if you want to vent or if I can help answer any questions, feel free.
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Thanks, I'm thinking this is maybe the best option, it's a scary option though and I'm not sure if I've got enough courage to do it, change is hard for me, but at the same time keeping things the same doesn't seem to have done any good for me so far.


Thanks for the advice so far everybody, seriously I love you guys.
 
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lowrider007 said:
I spoke to the police earlier on, but I didn't mention any names though, I don't want to aggravate him any more than I have, I just went their for advice and they just said if he tries to start on me then lock myself in my room and call the police.
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I just figured he's already going to be mad re: getting chucked out surely - calling the police at least gets it on record that there is a problem and and perhaps they might pop over and have a word with him in the course of following up on the incident. Won't necessarily make him any more or less mad than he already might be at having to be kicked out (obv there is the risk it will annoy him further) but at least lets him know that if there is another incident then there will be consequences - he might well think twice about pulling anything like that again. At the moment he apparently sees you as timid and afraid of him and seems to think he can lash out like that - having a reality check might well be in order.
 
lowrider007 said:
Thanks, I'm thinking this is maybe the best option, it's a scary option though and I'm not sure if I've got enough courage to do it, change is hard for me, but at the same time keeping things the same doesn't seem to have done any good for me so far.


Thanks for the advice so far everybody, seriously I love you guys.
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You are right, it is scary, however the alternative sounds to be just as, if not worse. Think of change as something transitory, once you have done it, it becomes the norm and your current situation is such that objectively, moving out and taking a minor chance is preferable to living as you do now.
 
Not sure, move on, words cant really do anything, I cant help you, you have to have some bottle, life is not cool but, go out your comfort zone, get the adrenaline going.

If he comes through your door make sure you are ready, I am no expert but saying "ello" Castiel style would not be cool.

Lets face it, if anything kicks off its you vs him, man up. Dont take advice off a 21 stone Castiel, dont become something you hate, just own him. Whats the worst that can happen.
 
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take all your valuables to your nearest buddies house, then set up traps around your room for when he enters while on a rage. Laugh while he burns to death from your new death room!
 
^TANK^ said:
Balls to Freefaller and Morba, I'll be right behind Castiel lol.
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I really hate people like the one described in the OP, people who intimidate and bully others for no good reason other than because they can. It really riles me up.

I really feel for Lowrider, it must really suck to be afraid in your own home.

Makes me want to throttle the little scrote tbh.:mad:
 
so you are single and arent close to your family ? if i were you i'd travel the world on a bike lol..

you could do anything being single, i'd love it..
 
Castiel said:
MY only real advice would be to move out of the house regardless of what the chap may do. Go to your Gran or a friend and take a few days to sort yourself out.

Find another room to rent within travelling distance to work and begin thinking about looking for work in another area. It sounds as though you are stuck in a rut with little chance of ever improving your situation until you change something.

Take no notice of the GD "man up" nonsense, it is a horrible and frightening position you find yourself in and antagonising someone as unstable as this chap appears to be will not do you any good if you are not physically able to defend yourself, walk away. There is no shame in that whatsoever, and I expect most of those saying it would fill their pants just living in the same house as a drug addled, unpredictable and violent house-mate, let alone getting threatened by one. Don't go and 'offer him out' hoping he is bluffing, he may well not be and it will only make your situation worse. Real life is not the Karate Kid I'm afraid and unstable, unpredictable people are rarely balanced enough to be afraid anyway. Leave him alone and start moving anything of value out of the house as soon as you can.

Treat this as an opportunity to drag yourself out of the situation you are in. Remember that as soon as you are out of the sight of this fool he is likely to forget about you in short order, his self hate will focus on other things more immediate to his vicinity and if he is saying that he is going to get others to hassle you, it is because he is a bully who is afraid of the consequences of doing it himself. People who are genuinely hard don't talk about what they are going to do, they simply do it.

I don't know where you live, but as hard as it may be, changing your life situation seems like something you want and need to do. Use this jerk-off as the catalyst.

You can PM me if you want to vent or if I can help answer any questions, feel free.
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Excellent advise, all of it.
I was praying for the right answer for you, as I was really feeling for you, no doubt as most were, who responded. I also feel though that most here would also agree Castiels advise is the way forwards.
 
I don't believe running away is the answer, bullies are usually also cowards, stand up to him, it doesn't matter how big he is, tool yourself up and scare the living **** out of the scum. David and Goliath mate! Believe me, he'll back down if you display real anger and intent.
 
smit101 said:
David and Goliath mate! Believe me, he'll back down if you display real anger and intent.
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OP, take this kind of advice with a massive pinch of salt. If you're going to stand up to this guy then you need to be committed, you need to be prepared to follow it through. If not, it could cause more harm than good.
 
jp_bl_68 said:
OP, take this kind of advice with a massive pinch of salt. If you're going to stand up to this guy then you need to be committed, you need to be prepared to follow it through. If not, it could cause more harm than good.
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And he is likely to get hurt, maybe seriously.
 
Castiel said:
And he is likely to get hurt, maybe seriously.
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Probably right, rush of blood to the head on my part. Like others on here though, I can't abide bullys, they ruin lives. The wise move op'r would be to get out of there, move on mate as it's obvious you've outgrown the place and are far too good/intelligent to live around such low lives, go and find the life you deserve mate.:)
 
Sounds like a pretty crap situation. I think the police would be the best bet - the guy threw a knife at you for christ's sake. That either assault or attempted murder/GBH. If he's a drug addict, I imagine the police are familiar with him already. You've got several witnesses who'll testify as to how much of an ******** he is. Seems to me they'll lock him up quite happily.

However, moving out and starting a new life elsewhere might be a decent option too. Maybe stay with your nan (and take all valuables with you) until you decide exactly what you want to do with yourself - then make a plan by which you can get there.

For example, I will tell you about my older brother. He's a decent guy and pretty smart but he's got dislexia, and was bullied at school and had no friends. He tried uni twice but dropped out both times due to not fitting in and finding the courses uninteresting. He was still living at home at the age of 21 and just wasting his time watching tv all day - doing nothing useful. Eventually he took some time and decided he wanted to be a paramedic. He enlisted as a volunteer first responder and did 2 years with them, building up experience and getting to know the job. Then he applied to study paramedic science at greenwich uni, and is now in 2nd year and doing really well. He's found likeminded people and is loving his job.

TL;DR: option A) police. option B) get out, start afresh, make a plan, work towards it
 
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