Not ANOTHER relationship thread!!!
- Thread starter Surfking2010
- Start date
Good advice. You've got to suss out honestly how you feel about her. Is it guilt? Do you just feel more **** now than you did when you were together? Or is it that genuine "she's the only person I see in any room we're in" type of feeling?
I know splitting up with my ex-wife made me feel a bit worthless, a bit kicked in the plums. We get on fine now, but we're better off apart, moving on, but friends.
Be very careful, though, mate - don't get embroiled in making plans to spend more time together, around your baby etc, only to pull back again later. I think your first concern should be to keep your relationship amicable, for the baby's sake. If that relationship grows, then fine, but don't make a mess of it!
"Hey darling, just before we get down and dirty, let me slip this on because I'm starting to think we should break up"
Yeah, that would work
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We were not married no, it's more a case of "the way things ended, did we do the right thing? Any regrets now?"
That sort of thing.
I don't neccasarily think of her as the only girl in the room as such, I do think about her, well I have to see her every week to pick up my child etc
By the same thing I don't know what id be saying if the relationship I had recently was still going?
It would be lovely to say, we get back, everyones happy again, one big happy family, but I admit I am extremely scared of it going wrong and turning everything sour.
That sort of thing.
I don't neccasarily think of her as the only girl in the room as such, I do think about her, well I have to see her every week to pick up my child etc
By the same thing I don't know what id be saying if the relationship I had recently was still going?
It would be lovely to say, we get back, everyones happy again, one big happy family, but I admit I am extremely scared of it going wrong and turning everything sour.
Soldato
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"Hey darling, just before we get down and dirty, let me slip this on because I'm starting to think we should break up"
Yeah, that would work
IT'S A TRAP!
Try going out on a few dates, with the intention of seeing if you can rekindle the spark, but with no real expectation - you'll need to be upfront about this with your ex. If you're both on the same page, you might be able to relight that spark, and if you do get back together it's important to keep it going, hard as it may be with a young child.
By 'dating' hopefully you'll be able to remove the pressure of possible failure. You should look at it as a new relationship, with new aims & possibilities otherwise you run the risk of ending up in the same place. Take it slow (even if you do end up in a relationship, keep it slow) & talk about how you both feel, and you might just be able to make a go of it.
Best of luck.
"Hey darling, just before we get down and dirty, let me slip this on because I'm starting to think we should break up"
Yeah, that would work
So getting your rocks off is more important than potentially bringing a life into the World that you do not want... Strange priorities you have Redman.
Have you told her this?
So getting your rocks off is more important than potentially bringing a life into the World that you do not want... Strange priorities you have Redman.
Grow up. It's not like every decision is taken in the clearest light with binary level decisions. Things happen in relationships which seem right at the time, whether they're the best for those involved or not, it's how you deal with them that counts.
The chap is doing the best for his child, planned or not.
But, according to his description having a child would not have been the right thing to do at the time as they were having problems when she fell pregnant.
I'm not saying that what he's doing now isn't the right thing to do I'm just curious as to why he allowed it to happen in the first place. To me, that seems terribly irresponsible.
I'm pleased that he's doing the right thing now and that ought to be commended but I'm concerned that he may have had the child in order to get the relationship back on track or some equally absurd reason.
Don't patronise me, please.
I don't recall Surfking saying they had unprotected sex unless I missed a post?! It is possible to get pregnant even when you are using something. Nothing is 100% guaranteed to work so I think it's rather rude the few of you questioning why he was having unprotected sex/calling him irresponsible etc.
Anyway back to the matter... Surfking you said there were bad times as well as good. Personally I would first think about what those bad times were. Are they small silly things that don't really matter or are they big things that aren't likely to change and would still be an issue a second time around?
As for being devastated about your recent breakup maybe you feel that way because it was so sudden. I'm sad to say I've recently been in that situation. You think everything is going great then BAM you're dumped
You've said you still think of your ex, well, I'd say that's normal tbh. I still think of my ex fiance and we split up 6 years ago! You only split with her last year and still see her because of your child so it's understandable that you may still have some feelings for her.
I disagree with those who say get back just for the sake of the kid. It's not nice seeing your parents arguing constantly and it wouldn't be fair on either of you being in a relationship that you don't want.
I think you need to have some time to yourself. Really think about what you want and then talk to her about it.
I hope that whatever path you choose to take it all works out for you
Anyway back to the matter... Surfking you said there were bad times as well as good. Personally I would first think about what those bad times were. Are they small silly things that don't really matter or are they big things that aren't likely to change and would still be an issue a second time around?
As for being devastated about your recent breakup maybe you feel that way because it was so sudden. I'm sad to say I've recently been in that situation. You think everything is going great then BAM you're dumped
You've said you still think of your ex, well, I'd say that's normal tbh. I still think of my ex fiance and we split up 6 years ago! You only split with her last year and still see her because of your child so it's understandable that you may still have some feelings for her.
I disagree with those who say get back just for the sake of the kid. It's not nice seeing your parents arguing constantly and it wouldn't be fair on either of you being in a relationship that you don't want.
I think you need to have some time to yourself. Really think about what you want and then talk to her about it.
I hope that whatever path you choose to take it all works out for you
Like?
I think what you need to be asking yourself is..
Can you overcome all the things that were wrong in the original relationship?
Were they really worth splitting up over?
If you can't come to terms with those things then no way should you try getting back together
If it's that difficult a decision, you shouldn't spend further time persuing such a futile endeavour.
Also, you wonder how she found out yet here you are, bleeding your heart for all the internet to see.
I find it very hard to believe you kept it to yourself.
Also, you wonder how she found out yet here you are, bleeding your heart for all the internet to see.
I find it very hard to believe you kept it to yourself.