OcUK Dadsnet thread

Guys, i'm going to keep this short as i'm still in a state of shock. We lost the baby last night at 29 weeks, my wife's womb ruptured and i almost lost my wife too, her body went into shock and almost died. Fortunately the medics arrived at the scene and took her to hospital for an emergency c-section, they tried to save the baby but it was too far gone and my wife had to have 4-pints of blood transfused. She's in ICT at the moment but is now awake and making progress, they hope she'll be out by the end of the week and her mums coming down to look after her for a couple of weeks.

We have a long road of recovery ahead and it's going to take us months just to think what our next step is. I'm just devastated and was excited to finally be a dad. I'm just lucky i have my wife and will focus all my energy on her recovery.
 
Thank you everyone for your kind words, she been moved out of ICT and to a normal ward. Visting starts at 3pm. There's not much anyone can do really, my work has been great and given me the week off. After a little while my wife might stay with her mum for a few weeks where she can be looked after better.
 
Glad to hear she's on the mend.

Make sure you both talk about it together don't bury anything for fear of upsetting each other.

Also glad to hear your employer has been good with you, I know that takes a huge load of you.
 
robgmun said:
Thank you everyone for your kind words, she been moved out of ICT and to a normal ward. Visting starts at 3pm. There's not much anyone can do really, my work has been great and given me the week off. After a little while my wife might stay with her mum for a few weeks where she can be looked after better.
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Glad to hear she is making progress, what you described is every expectant dads worst nightmare. Take your time with recovery and and as above talk about it with people don't do the stiff upper lip big brave man thing and bottle up your feelings you will benefit from sharing.
 
robgmun said:
Thank you everyone for your kind words, she been moved out of ICT and to a normal ward. Visting starts at 3pm. There's not much anyone can do really, my work has been great and given me the week off. After a little while my wife might stay with her mum for a few weeks where she can be looked after better.
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That's good at least, it'll be quite a few months of physical pain so staying with relatives or them staying with her is a big help. Happened to my wife and son at 27weeks but we got lucky (by 5minutes according to the Dr) and it took her a long time to recover although she still has bouts of pain (2.5yrs later). All I've wanted to do is get home and hug my son and wife since I read your message. I can't imagine the heartache you're going through, you're all in our thoughts x
 
Wife is making good progress. They're moving her again out of the high dependency unit to a regular ward in a private room. She's much more lucid and was able to contact her family. She seems like she now out of immediate danger thank god.

I was so focused on my wife for the last couple of days I haven't even really thought about the baby we lost. I've already been offered to see it but I don't think I can cope with that, it would destroy me and it'll haunt me forever if I do, and I have to stay strong for my wife. My wife will make her own decision when she's ready and I'll support her whatever she decides.
 
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*Man hug* honestly, absolutely horrible to read. You two are going to need each other and it's gonna be hard. The worst part of this is your wife has still been pregnant and technically given birth, so she will still go through all the hormonal changes and for her it feel like it was all for nothing. Be prepared for the unexpected and try not to take anything personally, be the best rock you can be but make sure you help yourself too.

You're not in a minority, sadly these things are common. I hope you both recover and are able to look forward again soon. Don't leave the hospital with any regrets, saying goodbye can be important, so it might be good to meet but there's no wrong answer. Maybe it's something you'll need to do together.

Stay strong, stay focussed, things will get better. Lean on the forum if you've nobody else :)
 
Thanks man
Dup said:
Don't leave the hospital with any regrets, saying goodbye can be important, so it might be good to meet but there's no wrong answer. Maybe it's something you'll need to do together.

Stay strong, stay focussed, things will get better. Lean on the forum if you've nobody else :)
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My mum had the same thing happen to her. She said she regretted seeing the baby for the rest of her life as she'll always thinking about what she lost. And I have to admit she makes a lot of sense. So I can't. But I'll support whatever my wife decides.
 
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