OcUK Dadsnet thread

Blinkz · 15 Jan 2020 at 08:41

@robgmun there are no words that can possibly make any difference but I’m so sorry to hear about what has happened. Losing a child is devastating but I’m so happy that your wife is now out of danger and making a recovery.

If you ever need to talk then please feel free to message me. I’m sad to say that I know what you’re going through. 2 years ago my wife had a placental abruption and gave birth to our son Seb at 22 weeks. He lived for 41mins before dying in his mother’s arms.

Going forward will be tough, but I promise that together you and your wife can do it. If you aren’t already aware then there is some great support through https://www.sands.org.uk/support-you

Minstadave · 15 Jan 2020 at 09:13

The Lullaby trust offer bereavement support too. Might be useful once things are settling down.

gonda · 15 Jan 2020 at 12:28

@robgmun late to this but my goodness I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, and very glad to hear your wife is making progress. Others have already said it all, don't worry too much about being strong or being anything in particular, you've just got to do whatever you need to do for you and the wife.

SixTwoSix · 15 Jan 2020 at 13:52

@robgmun i'm not the most compassionate of people to folks online but your news resonated with me and terribly sorry to hear your sad news. Had a few scares during my wifes pregnancy and can't imagine if i'd had to go through what you've experienced. Glad she's on the mend and while you're probably being strong for her at the moment as she's had the physical trauma, don't discount how this may affect you both mentally. It's ok to mope, feel down, cry, shout, break something, just don't bottle it up.

Hilly · 15 Jan 2020 at 14:41

really sorry to hear, can't imagine what that's like and can just hope that it never happens to me!

Pookie Bear · 15 Jan 2020 at 14:50

@robgmun That's awful news, please accept my deepest condolences to you and your wife.

My rainbow twins are the most important things in my life (I say that to reinforce you should never give up hope) and while our losses were nowhere near as profound as yours, it still took a long time for my wife in particular to recover mentally. Be kind to one another, and don't hesitate to seek support when times are tough. I wish you both a swift recovery.

theone8181 · 17 Jan 2020 at 07:38

Has anyone on here used childcar vouchers at more than one place? I ask as now my son has his free hours (yay saves lots of money), i'm wanting to use the vouchers for my daughter. Is it just a case of logging in and setting a new place up, and whatevers not used rolls over to the next place on the list?

Skynet5 · 18 Jan 2020 at 22:17

Grrr. My 7 year old lad had a mate round today.

Apparently his mate said "my mum told me to Google momo, do it"

He did do whilst his mate was here and now cannot sleep.

His device isn't fully locked down on family link, but we see his activity. It appears he has just googled it and looked at some images.

Now he isn't sleeping. He said he saw a scary picture and immediately closed it and went to play roblox. I believe this. He is fairly sensible, albeit a very loud and opinionated child at times.

Grrr.

Skynet5 · 18 Jan 2020 at 22:24

@robgmun. So sorry for what you've gone through. I hope you both get through this and have all the support you need. Make sure you look after each other.

azazl187 · 18 Jan 2020 at 22:29

lnoton said:
Grrr. My 7 year old lad had a mate round today.

Apparently his mate said "my mum told me to Google momo, do it"

He did do whilst his mate was here and now cannot sleep.

His device isn't fully locked down on family link, but we see his activity. It appears he has just googled it and looked at some images.

Now he isn't sleeping. He said he saw a scary picture and immediately closed it and went to play roblox. I believe this. He is fairly sensible, albeit a very loud and opinionated child at times.

Grrr.

Is it me or does momo seem to have a decent rack of lamb?

Seriously though, you need to make a joke of the whole thing.

Skynet5 · 19 Jan 2020 at 08:05

azazl187 said:
Is it me or does momo seem to have a decent rack of lamb?

Seriously though, you need to make a joke of the whole thing.

That is pretty much what we did. Not my best area of parenting.

theone8181 · 19 Jan 2020 at 08:35

Ive just googled that, it is a bit freaky. Distract them on GTA or something

.

Gabbatek · 22 Jan 2020 at 09:44

robgmun said:
Guys, i'm going to keep this short as i'm still in a state of shock. We lost the baby last night at 29 weeks, my wife's womb ruptured and i almost lost my wife too, her body went into shock and almost died. Fortunately the medics arrived at the scene and took her to hospital for an emergency c-section, they tried to save the baby but it was too far gone and my wife had to have 4-pints of blood transfused. She's in ICT at the moment but is now awake and making progress, they hope she'll be out by the end of the week and her mums coming down to look after her for a couple of weeks.

We have a long road of recovery ahead and it's going to take us months just to think what our next step is. I'm just devastated and was excited to finally be a dad. I'm just lucky i have my wife and will focus all my energy on her recovery.

Deepest condolences :'(

robgmun · 22 Jan 2020 at 10:37

Thanks again, everyone.

My wife came home on Monday and it's so amazing to have her back. She's firmly on the road to recovery and it's horrible to even think i almost lost her too. We have arranged with the hospital for a burial and we gave her a teddy to be buried with. Signed the forms needed and now it's time to grieve and heal. My wife is of course heartbroken and it'll take a while, and i'm staying strong for her. Next Monday she's going to move back to her family home for a few weeks and then come back when she's feeling stronger. I'm just so glad to wake up and see her next to me again, and how close i got to losing her as well.

Devrij · 22 Jan 2020 at 13:42

robgmun said:
Thanks again, everyone.

My wife came home on Monday and it's so amazing to have her back. She's firmly on the road to recovery and it's horrible to even think i almost lost her too. We have arranged with the hospital for a burial and we gave her a teddy to be buried with. Signed the forms needed and now it's time to grieve and heal. My wife is of course heartbroken and it'll take a while, and i'm staying strong for her. Next Monday she's going to move back to her family home for a few weeks and then come back when she's feeling stronger. I'm just so glad to wake up and see her next to me again, and how close i got to losing her as well.

Glad to hear she's recovering well. I hope you two get back on your feet soon.

RoboCod · 25 Jan 2020 at 17:44

Our boy is just under 15months old now and the tantrums are endless at the moment. Because he can't talk properly yet and because he gets frustrated since he can't express himself correctly it means as soon as he encounters an obstacle, a difficulty or if we stop him doing something he shouldn't do, it ends in a melt down or ear piercing screaming. Really difficult at the moment. What's harder is not rewarding his tantrum by not reacting and just ignoring him. My head is numb.

Devrij · 25 Jan 2020 at 19:59

RoboCod said:
Our boy is just under 15months old now and the tantrums are endless at the moment. Because he can't talk properly yet and because he gets frustrated since he can't express himself correctly it means as soon as he encounters an obstacle, a difficulty or if we stop him doing something he shouldn't do, it ends in a melt down or ear piercing screaming. Really difficult at the moment. What's harder is not rewarding his tantrum by not reacting and just ignoring him. My head is numb.

You're doing the right thing. My wife always caved and gave our girl whatever she wanted eventually. Guess who she runs to every time I say no.

RoboCod · 13 Feb 2020 at 12:45

So for those who might be interested, I can vouch for the Qplay trike being a decent purchase. We got bought it for his birthday and only started using it recently. It is supposed to grow with them, morphing from a pram to a parent controlled trike and eventually to a completely child controlled trike. I like that at the moment his feet sit in stirrups, as opposed to the pedals. I can also decide whether the pedals and steering are engaged or not, which means he can get used to using them but without any affect (he won't be careering into the road). Not bad for £79 really. I've also read that balance bikes are good for building them up to riding a bike. Anyone here with any experience of them?

https://www.smythstoys.com/uk/en-gb...lay-rito-folding-trike-grey-air-tyre/p/163451

However, at the moment he's quite keen to just get on his feet and run, which inevitably leads to him falling on his arse since he still isn't quite steady

roccles · 13 Feb 2020 at 13:40

RoboCod said:
I've also read that balance bikes are good for building them up to riding a bike. Anyone here with any experience of them?

We bought our son a balance bike as his first bike and it was one the best things we have done, they are so good he could ride a pedal bike straight after with no help as he already had the balance and steering sorted, something you don't get with stabilisers.

We went for the Puky XL which was recommended to us at the time, not cheap (around 100 quid) but we definitely got a lot of value from it.

V_R · 13 Feb 2020 at 13:47

Ah funnily enough we've been looking at the Rito for our little girl too.

You got the EVA tyres over the air ones I see? Is there really any difference? The guy in Smyths didn't know.

We were going to get a umbrella stroller but are wondering if the trike might be more interesting for her because like your lad she much prefers walking or running rather than being pushed.