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Ev0 said:
Difficult at the moment as she’s restricted a bit with what she can do movement wise following surgery after the birth.

Might have to sort something though as only real sleep I’ve had this week was Tuesday evening, and was up for 40 hours before that :/
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I feel you there. My wife had a c section so couldn't really do anything for the first week (not so bad as yours obvs) so it's all on you. Once the little one settles into a routine it gets easier. Until then you sorta live in the twilight zone and just gotta try to help as well as you can.

How's everyone coping having their kids at home 24/7? Thoughts on lumping them back off to school/nursery at the first opportunity?

We've been lucky as our neighbours have girls about the same age as mine so they talk across the wall and have squirt gun fights etc. Been a real life saver.
 
robj20 said:
George is in hospital today and for at least 48 hours.
Noticed a soft lump on his head.
Turns out they think he has hit his head yesterday at some point. Makes you feel like crud that he's fallen and we didn't know.
He's always been tough he doesn't cry for pain really.
They did say it's nothing the hospital were about to send him home after a quick going over. But something flagged up on the system, he's then had a head scan and 48 hours on the ward.
I'm not allowed to visit either, and they have to stay in there room. Which I guess is a good thing.
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Any news on this?
 
subbytna said:
I was in my 40's when I had the twins. One baby is a doddle :D
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44 for mine!

A year old in two weeks

All I can say to new parents is my babies love routine - maybe yours will too. We defined a bedtime routine 3 months in and apart from a few hiccups now and then, it's still working now. From 6 there's no TV or other stimulants, just relaxing music, bath, pyjamas, bed, storytime, sleep. YMMV
 
3rd night and cluster feeding seems to have hit.

Put him in his Moses basket and he just screams and roots, then a couple of minutes after he feeds it repeats.

Then he’s falling asleep on the boob and not really doing anything.

Been like this since 11, poor wife is broken over it, only respite now seems to be if I have him cradled he stays asleep.

After the 2nd night being pretty good we were hoping tonight would be the same, sadly not!
 
His test came back negative which it should do we barely leave the house I go out on my bike at 5am the odd day, go to work for 3 hours twice a week at 6am. We don't go shopping at all.

Hopefully they are home this afternoon the house is very quiet with just me and the cat.
 
Ev0 said:
3rd night and cluster feeding seems to have hit.

Put him in his Moses basket and he just screams and roots, then a couple of minutes after he feeds it repeats.

Then he’s falling asleep on the boob and not really doing anything.

Been like this since 11, poor wife is broken over it, only respite now seems to be if I have him cradled he stays asleep.

After the 2nd night being pretty good we were hoping tonight would be the same, sadly not!
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If you don't mind my two pence worth: Do whatever you need to do for a quiet(er) night and some rest at this moment. It's potentially going to be chaos for a long time. Expecting any kind of routine so early is folly and you're going to very quickly get very fed up/down trodden if you pile the pressure on yourselves and the baby expecting normality straight away. We know your pain so just continue to vent here. Our boy was heinous for the first 6 months. He's still a bugger at 18m.

Just sleep, whenever you possibly can, and try to just enjoy the time. Which is an awful old cliché and every ****** tells you this when you're wondering how on earth you can enjoy a screaming kid and being so shattered all the time. You just have to forget about a lot of things for a while. House a mess? So what. Baby not in a routine? Doesn't matter. Hungry? Then eat some dross from the kebab shop if you really must. Just take a step back and take all your baby in for now because he's going to get big and change very very quickly. He naturally wants the warmth and comfort of his mum right now, it's familiar.

Give her plenty of massage :)
 
Yeah I’ve been saying just screw all the usual stuff just grab sleep whenever we can, she’s finding that hard to do though (any excuse for me to down tools and go for a nap though!)

Had him cradled on me for over an hour now and he’s silent and asleep, so at least giving her some respite and much needed sleep to try and recover a little.

Edited to add that this is really where we’ve found the NCT and similar classes worth their weight in gold.

Not due to their content, wasn’t much in them the wife hadn’t read up on already, but having that network of 10 or so other couples all going through the same has been a lifeline for her.

There’s always someone up on the WhatsApp group whenever she sends a message which is great.

Also one couple who we’ve never met in person (the classes kicked off around lockdown so all done over Teams) brought a load of stuff over to ours after the wife said we were struggling with something.

We’re not the most sociable of people, everyone was telling us the people you meet in these groups will be your friends in the future, you’ll all remain in contact and form friendships etc, and we just thought for us probably not.

But I really think now that it’s been a great thing to do and really has felt like a little community of people all helping each other.
 
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robj20 said:
His test came back negative which it should do we barely leave the house I go out on my bike at 5am the odd day, go to work for 3 hours twice a week at 6am. We don't go shopping at all.

Hopefully they are home this afternoon the house is very quiet with just me and the cat.[/QUOTE
Are you enjoying the peace though? :) glad he's OK.
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Ev0 said:
Yeah I’ve been saying just screw all the usual stuff just grab sleep whenever we can, she’s finding that hard to do though (any excuse for me to down tools and go for a nap though!)

Had him cradled on me for over an hour now and he’s silent and asleep, so at least giving her some respite and much needed sleep to try and recover a little.
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She's mentally, physically and emotionally ravaged. Massage might help her chill out and sleep herself, then you all might. I found that I slept the least out of all of us, in fact I still do, and it's really tough. Dare you mention to her how tired you are though? FML, once I did that and I wish I hadn't, not worth hailing the dragon. So us partners just carry on, carrying on :p
 
Yeah I feel the same, that I’ve been trying to take as much on as I can to give her a break at the expense of myself.

The birth wasn’t ideal and traumatic for her, so she bloody deserves it, I think certain things will taint the whole experience for her.

One worry is when I have to go back to work, I’ve got a month off so hoping that will be enough as think she’s a bit worried about going it alone so to speak.

That said, I work from home almost entirely in a job where other than any scheduled meetings I’m left to my own devices as to when and how I work, as long as things get done.

So whilst I wont necessarily be available 24/7 as I am now, it won’t be far off!

Edited my previous post to mention the NCT type groups and how helpful they’ve been too.

Apologies to everyone for the longish posts, I don’t really have anyone or anywhere else to vent this stuff to ;)
 
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Ev0 said:
Yeah I feel the same, that I’ve been trying to take as much on as I can to give her a break at the expense of myself.

The birth wasn’t ideal and traumatic for her, so she bloody deserves it, I think certain things will taint the whole experience for her.

One worry is when I have to go back to work, I’ve got a month off so hoping that will be enough as think she’s a bit worried about going it alone so to speak.

That said, I work from home almost entirely in a job where other than any scheduled meetings I’m left to my own devices as to when and how I work, as long as things get done.

So whilst I wont necessarily be available 24/7 as I am now, it won’t be far off!

Edited my previous post to mention the NCT type groups and how helpful they’ve been too.

Apologies to everyone for enthroned longish posts, I don’t really have anyone or anywhere else to vent this stuff to ;)
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No need for apologies, that's what this thread is for and some of the other dads are seasoned veterans :p this is your time to shine.
 
Actually no. I miss the little guy, as annoying as he can be at times. But that "da da" when he wakes up or when I come home from work is just magic. Something you don't understand unless your a parent, just makes everything seem better you know.
 
robj20 said:
Actually no. I miss the little guy, as annoying as he can be at times. But that "da da" when he wakes up or when I come home from work is just magic. Something you don't understand unless your a parent, just makes everything seem better you know.
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I came downstairs at 0530. At 0630 I heard him wake up and it's instantly "Daddy? Daddy? Daddy? Daddy?" :D

You get torn though don't you? Through the noise and tiredness I pray for the peace and as soon as she sods off to her parents for the weekend, I'm missing them both.
 
RoboCod said:
I came downstairs at 0530. At 0630 I heard him wake up and it's instantly "Daddy? Daddy? Daddy? Daddy?" :D

You get torn though don't you? Through the noise and tiredness I pray for the peace and as soon as she sods off to her parents for the weekend, I'm missing them both.
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haha! So true - my one year old is currently sat between my feet and is finding my big toe fascinating
 
Bolton hospital are happy for George to come home now they're just waiting on Neurology at St Mary's to say he can go home as well. Good news.
 
Minstadave said:
a lot of newborns just cry in the first few weeks, no rhyme or reason, just scream their little hearts out. Both of ours screamed for hours and hours everyday. The youngest is 3 months and just coming out of it.

All good fun, its awful when you're in the grind but ot passes soon enough.
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Yeah I think I jinxed it with our 3 week old. Doesn't stop crying all day no matter what we do. We've had maybe 2 good nights where he's gone to sleep through the night and only waking for feeds.

During the day it's just those mehh mehh cries. Wife is very tired as can expect and I go back to work (from home) so she's stressing about that.i have told her I'll still be there for a feed and baby relief. Few more months of hell then I'm sure we be ok.
 
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