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Having similar here with our 1.5 year old. But we've all had a virus & cough cold, for me (usually fairly healthy) I'm into the 4th week. For him he just has a lingering cough when he first goes down at night, or first starts stirring in the morning and it wakes him up. Thankfully doesn't bother him. Had chickenpox around his nursery and he had a couple of extra spots but didn't amount to anything, then last week one of his closest friends at nursery came down with viral
meningitis. Cue lots of panic, but thankfully no change to him or any kind of symptoms. Thankfully they caught it very early (poor thing woke up with a head to toe rash!) and is back at nursery.
Wait for the tests mate, they'll give you risk factors & %'s but it's all guesswork until further along/birth. Our little boy was measured with a large head one of his scans and they panicked rushing us in for other tests and scans. Gave us an increased % of downs etc but he was born perfectly healthy. Even when small the health visitors expressed concern over his head measurements, one even prompted a visit to see a specialist (who took a look and then was completely annoyed why we'd been caused so much worry and sent in, as it was a perfectly normal measurement). We just put it down to me having a slightly large head, so little Harry has. We soon learnt to 'hate' those health visitor visits - they would always seem condescending and 'looking' for a problem, but I guess that's their job. He's perfectly fine and healthy, top of the curve with progress and generally playing with kids 4-6 months older than him. Walked day before his first birthday (10+ steps).Just had the 12 week scan for our 2nd. Was so excited, you tend to only think about seeing your baby and getting a nice picture to take away
But we were told there was a high NT measurement, 5cm when the cause for concern starts at 3.5. This means the baby is at higher risk of things like Downs or heart defects among other things. The risk only goes up the higher above 3.5 you go. Obviously, it can mean nothing and there's also many normal reasons it could be high. I've stupidly been on Google all morning now which as you'd expect has only made things worse
We've had the bloods taken which will give us a clearer indication. But I'm going to pay for a private NIPT which is 99% accurate.
I'm just so deflatedI know it could well be fine, but I just can't help think the worst
Trust your midwives and the ones who know what they're doing. Be sceptical of the 'health visitor' types as much of the time they'd 'making you aware' just because there's a tiny amount of increased risk.
Catch up on sleep for a week or two beforehand. Stock up on it! Organise everything you can, almost planning a routine on a rolling 3 hour schedule over 24h. It really helps to 'know what's coming up' rather than just being caught out. You don't then forget to do simple things like eat (as we did once and couldn't figure out why that day we where so tired). You will both be emotional wrecks, so throw in some lack of sleep and you'll be snapping at each other then the next minute be in tears because the little bundle made a new noise/smiled at you. Things with your partner will be tested, but it will also make some incredibly strong bonds between you. One of the hardest things at that early stage is getting some time for yourself - same with your other half. You either have to suck that up and not worry (as I did initially), or share out some of the duties to give the other one some time off (came along later). We where really lucky as within a few days he was sleeping through his 3am feed so we both got 6h unbroken sleep. We also shared the midnight & 6am feeds, so whoever did the nighttime skipped the morning, so could both generally get 7-8h sleep to catch up a little.
We generally did everything together the first few days and that really helped me to feel like I was involved. Think I changed more nappies than mum did. Feeding can really cause some worries but the little ones are very resilient - after 2 days we gave up breast feeding (little one not interested/not getting enough) and moved to expressing. Worked really well, but within a week she couldn't express enough for our bottomless pit so switched to a combination with formula. After 2 weeks gave up expressing (she would be expressing for 2 days just to get enough for 1 feed) and switched to formula alone. He grew fast, drank loads more than the 'recommended' but continued to progress fast so we just became 'baby lead' rather than sticking to set amounts. He still drinks more than most kids now, just water during the day and will polish off at least a litre most days.
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Man of Honour
Thanks, mate
Thank you
Funnily enough we had the same thing, our first had a massive head but they only noticed after he was born. But I remember one visit for a health visit and similar to you, she caused a right fuss, said how big it was and she's worried and we need to see someone. We were terrified as he was about 10 months old at this point and showed no signs of there being an issue. When we saw the specialist, he literally looked at the notes and then my son and said "what a load of rubbish, he's fine".
So I know how much they can put the fear in you, but at the same time, the risks associated with a higher than normal NT measurement are pretty high. Will see what the test results come back as and then go from there.
Soldato
There's some things I imagine are going to be easier having two at the same age, but I also imagine there's going to be some things which are more intense - but I wanted to be a parent so I can't complain. Dealing with the tough early bits for an extended period of time due to close births has gotta be rough though - not that I am able to comment from experience (on either situation!).
Thanks! I'll look that up.
Soldato
I'm no expert, but one of my work colleagues shared her experience with me once she found out my wife was expecting. They told her the same thing as you, and that there was a 1 in 3 or 5 chance of serious complications. She spent the next 6 months in utter terror, hated the entire process, and now 4 years later has a beautiful daughter with no complications.Just had the 12 week scan for our 2nd. Was so excited, you tend to only think about seeing your baby and getting a nice picture to take away
But we were told there was a high NT measurement, 5cm when the cause for concern starts at 3.5. This means the baby is at higher risk of things like Downs or heart defects among other things. The risk only goes up the higher above 3.5 you go. Obviously, it can mean nothing and there's also many normal reasons it could be high. I've stupidly been on Google all morning now which as you'd expect has only made things worse
We've had the bloods taken which will give us a clearer indication. But I'm going to pay for a private NIPT which is 99% accurate.
I'm just so deflated
I worry about these things all the time even though nothing has come up (we refused screening for reasons), but I will have my fingers crossed for you and your partner.
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Soldato
Take your time and use it as a sort of therapy. Look forward (if that’s the correct expression) to reading it.
Good luck, I can only imagine how difficult it is for you.
Good luck, I can only imagine how difficult it is for you.
rubbish, NIPT is a genetic test on fetal DNA collected in fragments from maternal blood and while not great on some of the genetic conditions is >99% accurate for Down Syndrome.
Both my children have had the 10 commonest genetic abnormalities (and gender by definition) by 10-12 weeks in utero
Soldato
- Joined
- 1 Jul 2007
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Just looking for Poeple thoughts/ need to express mine somewhere that's been playing on my mind for a while.
This is a few years off but my partner (both males) would be adopting. My head says why pay for a surrogate when we can give a little guy (I don't think it would be fair to get a girl when we can't sympathise with the female body) a good chance in life and avoid being in the system.
My worry is my niece and nephew I can really see my family genes in them, it's unbelievabley uncanny, it's like their mum there in the mix. I'm worried that they may almost be favoured due to the genetic bond and they make me broody for a mini me running around with a little bobble head.
I think what I'm saying is I think I may struggle with bonding. I am also worried as much as I want a mini me I'd be forcing myself into a moral high ground by adoption and there might be a hint of resentment not going surrogate.
Any body been in this situation,? When the times comes to get serious I think I'd be looking for local support groups to open up discussion.
This is a few years off but my partner (both males) would be adopting. My head says why pay for a surrogate when we can give a little guy (I don't think it would be fair to get a girl when we can't sympathise with the female body) a good chance in life and avoid being in the system.
My worry is my niece and nephew I can really see my family genes in them, it's unbelievabley uncanny, it's like their mum there in the mix. I'm worried that they may almost be favoured due to the genetic bond and they make me broody for a mini me running around with a little bobble head.
I think what I'm saying is I think I may struggle with bonding. I am also worried as much as I want a mini me I'd be forcing myself into a moral high ground by adoption and there might be a hint of resentment not going surrogate.
Any body been in this situation,? When the times comes to get serious I think I'd be looking for local support groups to open up discussion.
Soldato
i can't speak for your specific case but i can say the worries about bonding is something that every parent worries about (or almost every parent)
Finally posted the thread. Its long and a bit of a jumble, its not easy to remember when and what order everything happened in.
https://forums.overclockers.co.uk/posts/32598311
Soldato
had a read, now need a lay down - i'm drained!
Soldato
teared up?!.....surprised you weren't a complete mess on the floor! for that alone, never mind actually taking the effort to share you deserve a medal.
My daughter is going up north for a week with her nana and I read your story before she left. Needed lots of hugs from her before she left after reading George's story, but she said no. "no daddy, I'm playing with nana". Stone cold little girl
Soldato
- Joined
- 1 Jul 2007
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Thanks.
I think admit I made the post then bottled it for a while. It's been good to get my thoughts out there.
Our baby - Samuel - came graciously into the world on Thursday, surfing a tidal wave of his own excrement. A slightly odd delivery, but my wife gave birth without painkillers - although we were on our way to get an epidural when they told her to start pushing.
Cord wrapped around his neck and covered in his own ****, so was a little unwell at first - had to stay in for a couple of nights, but all seems well now.
I do quite wish I still worked for myself from home, as a year spent with the little one and my wife would have been great.
Cord wrapped around his neck and covered in his own ****, so was a little unwell at first - had to stay in for a couple of nights, but all seems well now.
I do quite wish I still worked for myself from home, as a year spent with the little one and my wife would have been great.
Congrats! Childbirth is definitely not like they show it in the films, eh? That said, mine came out my wife's stomach like in aliens so I guess it kinda is
Soldato
Yep. I'm the youngest of three so didn't have any younger siblings about when I was growing up. Was worried I'd not be any good with a baby but it just all happened.
Micheal McIntyre has some useful info in his standup routine
