OcUK Dadsnet thread

J35T3R said:
Our girls are 22 months age difference and they fight like mad. However it got all the sleepless nights, potty training and bed wetting all done over the space of a few years. I thought they would play better but 2 totally different personalities and they clash constantly. I doubt it would be any different if one was a boy!

But at the same time I'm glad we had that short gap, I see folk with kids now and I doubt I could go back to the baby stage again now my 2 and do so much for themselves and sleep all night.
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My twins and their older sister have a 13 year gap. Age gaps mean nothing.
 
Kreeeee said:
Don't be overly protective of the baby, let him interact with it and help out. My eldest is 25 months old and she helps giving the youngest (10 months) his bottle, putting nappies in the bin, giving him toys, cuddles, kisses, making him laugh etc.

She now calls for him when he's not around, and asks if he's sleeping and when he will wake up to play.
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Thanks for the reply. We were thinking similar that it would be a good idea to get him involved, he likes to help out as it is so hopefully wont take too much encouragement. I think he's excited ;) we don't know what we are having so hopefully he's happy with a brother or sister.. he currently claims to want either!
 
Whoever suggested (yellow) Metanium... Hero(es)! This is the best thing we've used and cleans up any nappy rash virtually over night. Thank you.
 
So as its half term next week I wondered about taking my daughter to eureka. She's 5 years old and at school, will she be OK? I've had a look and she likes the look of what's on but I don't know if it will be a bit 'old' for her, although there's a space thing on next week which all kids love I'm sure.
 
When you work 12 hour shifts for 2 weeks straight, get home at midnight and eat, relax from the day and finally get to sleep at 3am and then your wife is genuinely ****** off with you for not spending any time with her and child because you are asleep until 11 am the next day before going back to work for 12 hours.
What on earth do you do....

She says i don't help, i said i help by going to work at the moment, she says work is normal......
Completely stuck at how to console her, she is treating me like im made of ****
Any advice.....?
 
Illuminist said:
When you work 12 hour shifts for 2 weeks straight, get home at midnight and eat, relax from the day and finally get to sleep at 3am and then your wife is genuinely ****** off with you for not spending any time with her and child because you are asleep until 11 am the next day before going back to work for 12 hours.
What on earth do you do....

She says i don't help, i said i help by going to work at the moment, she says work is normal......
Completely stuck at how to console her, she is treating me like im made of ****
Any advice.....?
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Get up at 9 or 10 and appease her?
 
Kreeeee said:
Why are you working so much? I can understand her point of view because you have no time to have a relationship with your wife or child, but we don't have the full picture here.

As a footnote I find the days that I work far easier than the days that looking after my two kids on my own, even when they are 12 hour days.
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Lack of staff, Im the manager, have to fill the gaps unfortunately.
It's like she only remembers these two weeks and not the time before it, she acts like this is our whole life now because of that.
If i sleep less it destroys me for such a long shift, especially when i repeat it over and over, i make mistakes.

I obviously want to spend time with her and him it destroys me missing all the laughing and fun and also that im not there to ease the load. I just dont have the hours in the day but she doesn't seem to understand.
Don't know why i posted it here, guess i hoped others have the same thing sometimes, I've always heard the cliche of the dad working all the time to provide for the family but not being around to enjoy any of it and help, so here I now am
 
Kreeeee said:
My father was like this (home one weekend a month for a lot of my childhood) and while we get on fine, he's just someone I know and not my dad.

It's one of the reasons I dropped to working 60% as I don't want my relationship with my kids to be like that.

I'm sorry that I can't give you the magic words to say to your wife to make her OK with the situation, but she does have a valid point.
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The solution is scrape by money wise and drop the hours then I guess, luckily my son is only 9 weeks old at this point
 
Kreeeee said:
Does your wife agree that you need the money? I think either way you need to reach a solution together.
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It's the job I had before he was born, so the world moulded around the money, now she is not working only me it sort of became essential to just keep doing how I do
 
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