OcUK Dadsnet thread

[theone8181]

Calm down Nancy. We're in NZ. We don't have 'lockdowns'. Well, not for a year anyway. Just the odd case of Covid occasionally at an airport - straight into quarantine they go.

It's almost as if we should have done the same in the uk. I'm looking forward to taking the kids swimming again, we still see grandparents for childcare and my son is still at nursery and my daughters been at school the whole time so not that much is different. Both sets of our parents (apart from my dad) have had the first jab, but I don't see covid as being that bad, my parents are anal about cleaning everything, and both me and my wife have to mask up at work so I really don't see how it can spread that way.

 

[varkanoid]

Babies are a friggin awful pain in the arse. Much better when they get older.

You must be joking. At 8yrs and 11yrs and its a whole different kind of pain in the arse and not yet got to teens !

 

[chroniclard]

You must be joking. At 8yrs and 11yrs and its a whole different kind of pain in the arse and not yet got to teens !

heh much prefer mine now, 10 and 13, babies are just a royal pain.

 

[Resident]

Am I in a minority here?

Here's the situation, a friend of one of my wife's friends has stated that she calls her daughter, who's age is still in single figures, sexy. She claims it's to boost her confidence.

She's taken offence that I said that people who call prepubesent kids sexy belong on 'the register'.

Am I wrong? She thinks it's perfectly normal and I'm bad because I'm the one 'making it perverted'

 

[Psycho Sonny]

Am I in a minority here?

Here's the situation, a friend of one of my wife's friends has stated that she calls her daughter, who's age is still in single figures, sexy. She claims it's to boost her confidence.

She's taken offence that I said that people who call prepubesent kids sexy belong on 'the register'.

Am I wrong? She thinks it's perfectly normal and I'm bad because I'm the one 'making it perverted'

Completely wrong. I'm guessing it's a woman and she's thick as two short planks?

Calling them gorgeous, handsome, adorable, etc is all good.

Sexy is sexually suggestive and I wouldn't be surprised if the girl is pregnant in her teens.

Shouldn't be allowed to have kids IMO.

 

[RoboCod]

I'd completely avoid the conversation, it's only going to end in problems between you all.

No, she shouldn't be calling her daughter sexy but then telling them they should be on a register is also a pretty tactless approach.

 

[Resident]

I'd completely avoid the conversation, it's only going to end in problems between you all.

No, she shouldn't be calling her daughter sexy but then telling them they should be on a register is also a pretty tactless approach.

When it comes to kiddie fiddlers I have one approach, they should all be executed, as should anyone who aids/protects them. No ifs, no buts.

People avoiding the subject is partly why we end up with the scandals in Rotherham, Rochdale, Keighley, Aylesbury, Oxford, Bristol, Newcastle & Peterborough. Although I suspect there are a great deal more still being covered up.

 

[RoboCod]

When it comes to kiddie fiddlers I have one approach, they should all be executed, as should anyone who aids/protects them. No ifs, no buts.

People avoiding the subject is partly why we end up with the scandals in Rotherham, Rochdale, Keighley, Aylesbury, Oxford, Bristol, Newcastle & Peterborough. Although I suspect there are a great deal more still being covered up.

I suspect you're adding 2 and 2 and making 10.

She probably isn't fiddling her kid and I suspect she's using the incorrect term to express endearment. If you genuinely believe there are sinister acts afoot, I trust that you are reporting these actions to the relevant authorities and not just posting about it on a forum, right?

Otherwise, you're probably overreacting and my original message to you was that it's most likely going to end in problems/fall out for you all by telling them they're paedos.

 

[fatbatman]

Am I in a minority here?

Here's the situation, a friend of one of my wife's friends has stated that she calls her daughter, who's age is still in single figures, sexy. She claims it's to boost her confidence.

She's taken offence that I said that people who call prepubesent kids sexy belong on 'the register'.

Am I wrong? She thinks it's perfectly normal and I'm bad because I'm the one 'making it perverted'

How do you get involved in these conversations with your wife's mates?

You sound like an exaggerating gossip queen lol!

 

[Minstadave]

Am I in a minority here?

Here's the situation, a friend of one of my wife's friends has stated that she calls her daughter, who's age is still in single figures, sexy. She claims it's to boost her confidence.

She's taken offence that I said that people who call prepubesent kids sexy belong on 'the register'.

Am I wrong? She thinks it's perfectly normal and I'm bad because I'm the one 'making it perverted'

It's weird but just don't get involved.

 

[dl8860]

Am I in a minority here?

Here's the situation, a friend of one of my wife's friends has stated that she calls her daughter, who's age is still in single figures, sexy. She claims it's to boost her confidence.

She's taken offence that I said that people who call prepubesent kids sexy belong on 'the register'.

Am I wrong? She thinks it's perfectly normal and I'm bad because I'm the one 'making it perverted'

Absolutely horrendous. I don't know how any normal adult could think that's OK, it makes me feel quite sick thinking about it. I think you are right to call it out, there's no justification for it whatsoever and it's bordering on child abuse in my opinion.

 

[adam cool dude]

How do you get involved in these conversations with your wife's mates?

You sound like an exaggerating gossip queen lol!

You always get that one dad at school whilst waiting for the kids to come out who loves a good chatter with the mums. Whilst 99% of us hide in the corner avoiding all contact!

 

[Desmo]

Calling them gorgeous, handsome, adorable, etc is all good.

Personally I don't even like this. In years to come we wonder why people have issues about their body or their looks when we've spent years as they're growing up telling them how gorgeous, pretty or handsome they are. See it all the time on social media with families constantly going on about looks. Does my head in.

 

[Psycho Sonny]

Personally I don't even like this. In years to come we wonder why people have issues about their body or their looks when we've spent years as they're growing up telling them how gorgeous, pretty or handsome they are. See it all the time on social media with families constantly going on about looks. Does my head in.

It's social media that's the issue not telling them they are handsome in moderation.

I don't do social media at all. I'm not on anything apart from Twitter which I never use.

However I can see the huge detrimental effect it has had on society as a whole not just kids.

People literally trying to impress others by making out their lives are amazing and trying to cause conflict between others, etc.

I'd say giving your kids access to social media is child abuse. Yesterday was neices birthday who is 8 years old and she got a tablet it's probably her second or third such device and she has a mobile phone which she's had for ages too. When asked what she wanted for her birthday she wanted vouchers to spend on a virtual game.

I'd rather give them nothing. Should be encouraging active hobbies rather than being glued to a screen.

That's the problem kids being stuck to a screen and social media which then warps their minds through its addiction.

I've never been on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, etc. Not even once. I have to regularly borrow my wife's login to do things which require Facebook these days it's as if it's mandatory to have one. If you tell someone you don't have it they see you as an alien when it's the other way around.

There is no right or wrong when it comes to parenting and parents are free to bring up their kids however they want. But I'm pretty confident shielding them from social media and calling them handsome in moderation won't turn them into self obsessed image zombies.

 

[Resident]

You always get that one dad at school whilst waiting for the kids to come out who loves a good chatter with the mums. Whilst 99% of us hide in the corner avoiding all contact!

This pretty much. I get on well with my wife's friends and when I have the opportunity I take/pick up the kids from school so I do chat with them.

I've always got on well with women in a social aspect, one of my best mates is a woman and she was also best man #2 at my wedding.

 

[Desmo]

It's social media that's the issue not telling them they are handsome in moderation.

But why the need at all? Why do we reinforce at such an early age that looks are somehow important?

I'm not saying I've never ever done it, it's pretty hard not to tell your own daughter that she looks "cute". But it's not a regular thing as I don't think it's important and just helps to perpetuate the whole body conscious dilemma that many people go through.

 

[Psycho Sonny]

But why the need at all? Why do we reinforce at such an early age that looks are somehow important?

I'm not saying I've never ever done it, it's pretty hard not to tell your own daughter that she looks "cute". But it's not a regular thing as I don't think it's important and just helps to perpetuate the whole body conscious dilemma that many people go through.

Looks are important.

Do you wear a suit to an interview? Do you clean and polish your shoes?

Would you prefer to be married to someone who looks after themselves or Jabba the hut?

You can pretend like they aren't important but everyone judges people based on their looks. It's a minority that doesn't and probably because they have their own issues.

The one good thing about love island and towie, etc is that it's caused a generation to go to the gym more than they would have without them and on the other hand all the fatties are now more depressed than ever.

Instilling a sense of pride and hard work ethic to look good rather than fake extensions, duck lips and Botox. There's two different approaches to the same thing.

You can't just tar everyone with the same brush that thinks looks are important. Like I said before in moderation and with the right approach it's healthy. The word sexy though is not and completely wrong when referring to a child in any context.

We can agree to disagree if you want but looks are indeed very important and a naturally ugly person can make themselves more attractive by working out and gaining muscle mass and shedding bodyfat which IMO is a healthy way to address the issue Vs implants and surgery, etc which so many people are doing these days. The approach is the most important factor.

 

[Desmo]

You've changed the argument somewhat there. Originally it was "gorgeous, handsome, adorable" and now it's about looking smart, being presentable and looking after yourself, which I agree with. Completely different things in my book.

 

[theone8181]

It's social media that's the issue not telling them they are handsome in moderation.

I don't do social media at all. I'm not on anything apart from Twitter which I never use.

However I can see the huge detrimental effect it has had on society as a whole not just kids.

People literally trying to impress others by making out their lives are amazing and trying to cause conflict between others, etc.

I'd say giving your kids access to social media is child abuse. Yesterday was neices birthday who is 8 years old and she got a tablet it's probably her second or third such device and she has a mobile phone which she's had for ages too. When asked what she wanted for her birthday she wanted vouchers to spend on a virtual game.

I'd rather give them nothing. Should be encouraging active hobbies rather than being glued to a screen.

That's the problem kids being stuck to a screen and social media which then warps their minds through its addiction.

I've never been on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, etc. Not even once. I have to regularly borrow my wife's login to do things which require Facebook these days it's as if it's mandatory to have one. If you tell someone you don't have it they see you as an alien when it's the other way around.

There is no right or wrong when it comes to parenting and parents are free to bring up their kids however they want. But I'm pretty confident shielding them from social media and calling them handsome in moderation won't turn them into self obsessed image zombies.

I agree, while I'm on Facebook it seems mainly aimed at the "look at me" type of person. I find the ones that post the most have actually the least going on, thats why they post so much.

 

[a1ex2001]

I agree, while I'm on Facebook it seems mainly aimed at the "look at me" type of person. I find the ones that post the most have actually the least going on, thats why they post so much.

Facebook like all social media gives you what you look for, I see no attention seeking nonsense in my feed because my friends (who are my real friends) don’t post weird rubbish and the one or two that have are on ignore and will never know! Don’t blame Facebook blame the people posting nonsense.

Back on topic calling any family member except your partner sexy no matter what there age is weird, they are family and with a whole language to find a compliment from why would you sexualise them?!?!?