So it is! Balance's out the increase at least
Thats literally all its doing for us after our nursery massively increased their prices. We were looking forward to having a bit more money but nope.
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Thats literally all its doing for us after our nursery massively increased their prices. We were looking forward to having a bit more money but nope.
Just seems to be the way of life since having a kid, any bonus I've gotten, OT I've worked, pay rise that's come through. Thoughts of "oh that's a nice bit of extra cash to have" are quickly replaced by "well she needs this, that, the other, that's going up, this is going up, etc, etc, etc"
I love my daughter and she absolutely lights up life a million times a day but the reality side of being a parent sucks
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My partner just got back from buying our boys new shoes. They are 23 months old and 2 pairs cost nearly £100. Madness.
I'm glad we are all in this together!
My general feeling since being a parent is that; **** me it can be difficult and expensive but I wouldn't change it for the world. I've done a complete 180 from never wanting children to wondering what people sans-children do with their free time but more important what are they doing with their lives.
Don't come at me, child free people. Deep down I'm jealous of your free time and disposable income but not much else
My general feeling since being a parent is that; **** me it can be difficult and expensive but I wouldn't change it for the world. I've done a complete 180 from never wanting children to wondering what people sans-children do with their free time but more important what are they doing with their lives.
Don't come at me, child free people. Deep down I'm jealous of your free time and disposable income but not much else
We took ours to Clarks for her first proper shoes and to get measured which yeah ended up being a bit of an
at the till considering she grew out of them pretty quick and scuffed them up. Other than that thankfully my wife has become a bit of a Vinted Ninja, brand new Dr Martins in box for about a fiver, Converse for £3 and so on so can't complain too much.I do still miss not living my life to a tiny persons schedule thoughDon't come at me, child free people. Deep down I'm jealous of your free time and disposable income but not much else
I do still miss not living my life to a tiny persons schedule though
What, you mean you don't like waking up at the crack of dawn and being expected to be full of energy?
It's the litte things for me. Our local beach, Weston-Super-Mare is a proper dive of a sea-side town. I used to love going there as a kid but the adults always let out a big mehhh. Now as an adult I feel the same way but we went there on the weekend with the nice weather and she had so much fun just running around with the dog and eating chips.
Dad perk: She wanted a cream and blackberry ice cream. Had 2 licks then decided she didn't want it so I got to finish it
I only asked that question as our little one reacted very badly to Follow On formula. The only major difference seemed to be the iron content.
It turned a happy baby into the Devil Incarnate! I kid thee not.
He is 16 now so things may have changed, but it was a definite problem with us.
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Best to use https://www.childcarechoices.gov.uk/ to see what you are eligible for based on circumstances.
The eligiblity tool doesn't say anything about future changes.
From September 2024, 15 hours free started to apply for all children 9 months and above.
From Setpember 2025, that is expanded to 30 hours free for all children 9 months and above.
FAQ from that website says this:
What’s happening in September 2025?
In September 2025, the 15 hours for working parents of children under 3 will expand to 30 hours, meaning eligible working parents will be able to claim 30 hours of childcare all the way through from the term after their child turns 9 months to school age.@Chris344
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Soldato
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really struggling with my 9 year old at the moment. on the bright side today he had a glowing school report in both academic and behaviour however at home is becoming a different story.
he is answering back all the time and if he doesn't get his way gets angry or cries, he is sarcastic and rolls his eyes and can be v rude . the anger affects me less than the tears to be honest as I just feel guilty and like a **** dad.
mostly it involves stopping gaming or tablet to get some downtime before bed but it's becoming an issue all the time now even things like what he wants for tea....
it's like the teenage year came 4 years early..
I guess we have had it easy until now as this is the 1st time we have had issues. he was not really a tantrummy kid.
I keep getting told things have changed with kids today but I would never had answered back to my parents like that... or I would have had a smacked backside.
he is answering back all the time and if he doesn't get his way gets angry or cries, he is sarcastic and rolls his eyes and can be v rude . the anger affects me less than the tears to be honest as I just feel guilty and like a **** dad.
mostly it involves stopping gaming or tablet to get some downtime before bed but it's becoming an issue all the time now even things like what he wants for tea....
it's like the teenage year came 4 years early..
I guess we have had it easy until now as this is the 1st time we have had issues. he was not really a tantrummy kid.
I keep getting told things have changed with kids today but I would never had answered back to my parents like that... or I would have had a smacked backside.
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Are you sure you're not talking about my Son
what you have said is 100% the same as our boy, Same age aswell, My wife seems to think it's because of the friend circle he's in, a few of the boys at school don't get told off by their parents and the kids seem to be in charge in their house, not here though...Like you said, I'd never had spoken or reacted this way to my parents, I think nowadays we maybe a little to soft, not saying you are but back in the day I would've got slapped with something or slap on the backside pretty hard
We had similar sounding issues with our 6 year old, which seems to have got better recently. I definitely had a few realisation moments along the lines of, wow I would never speak to my dad this way. Or even, I would never even have thought to speak to a parent like that, let alone think that I could get away with it.
I don't think we were severely overdoing screen time, but we did come to rely on it a bit too much (with a 3rd new baby), and cutting back on that (hard as it was) and consciously trying to be more authoritative, and sad as it sounds, aloof as a parent, has helped him. By aloof, I mean not being too friendly and easy. Even with enforcing boundaries and upholding some standards, it felt like he was too comfortable being rude or deliberately taking the mick with things. So just trying to restore more of a father/son relationship than something that's overly 'friendly'.
Similarly he seems to do really well at school and zero behaviour issues there. I think they like to take it out at home in their safe space.
I don't think we were severely overdoing screen time, but we did come to rely on it a bit too much (with a 3rd new baby), and cutting back on that (hard as it was) and consciously trying to be more authoritative, and sad as it sounds, aloof as a parent, has helped him. By aloof, I mean not being too friendly and easy. Even with enforcing boundaries and upholding some standards, it felt like he was too comfortable being rude or deliberately taking the mick with things. So just trying to restore more of a father/son relationship than something that's overly 'friendly'.
Similarly he seems to do really well at school and zero behaviour issues there. I think they like to take it out at home in their safe space.
Soldato
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we had another melt down this morning and i have to admit i didnt handle it very well. Afterwards on the way to school he told me all his friends had told him they no longer want to play with him unless none of their real friends are there and that he dreads break time. They apparently have made a gang but he is specifically not allowed to be in it.
not sure if this is the root of the problem or if it is just him being overly dramatic whilst being upset (also at his age i fell out with my mates all the time, usually ending up in a scrap then things were ok again - kids dont seem to have scraps now and if they did it seems to be handled very differently than when i was a kid (40 years ago mind you). however i have told him in the past the way he speaks to us and if he is so demanding to his friends as he is with us he will push his friends away, and it is possible this is the other shoe falling from that. both his mum and i work almost full time so he does have a lot of after school clubs and activities . historically this has i think helped his development and allowed him to be really good at making friends with people and mixing with a whole range of kids both older and younger than him.... however i also think it means he has picked up a few bad habits from older kids. unfortunately the work we cant alter as i am losing my job in less than a year what ever happens so making hay whilst the sun shines and my wife is currently at risk with a likely shake up coming up, so she needs to be on it for now and doing her best.
hopefully just a phase but i think we do need to be firmer on the screentime front.
its a challenge however because times have changed. When i was my lads age i was out on my bike and playing in the fields and in the farmhouses etc locally and 1) i now live in a town now anyway but 2) even if i didnt, kids just dont tend to do the stuff i did as a kid any more due to it being potentially dangerous!......... but if we dont let him go out and roam about on his bike (and his friends dont either) then.... most of his mates are online now playing games and chatting that way.
I am more and more aware of the fact that i am an older parent and i think my values and views are somewhat out of touch in some areas as well which may be why i am not handling it that well
not sure if this is the root of the problem or if it is just him being overly dramatic whilst being upset (also at his age i fell out with my mates all the time, usually ending up in a scrap then things were ok again - kids dont seem to have scraps now and if they did it seems to be handled very differently than when i was a kid (40 years ago mind you). however i have told him in the past the way he speaks to us and if he is so demanding to his friends as he is with us he will push his friends away, and it is possible this is the other shoe falling from that. both his mum and i work almost full time so he does have a lot of after school clubs and activities . historically this has i think helped his development and allowed him to be really good at making friends with people and mixing with a whole range of kids both older and younger than him.... however i also think it means he has picked up a few bad habits from older kids. unfortunately the work we cant alter as i am losing my job in less than a year what ever happens so making hay whilst the sun shines and my wife is currently at risk with a likely shake up coming up, so she needs to be on it for now and doing her best.
hopefully just a phase but i think we do need to be firmer on the screentime front.
its a challenge however because times have changed. When i was my lads age i was out on my bike and playing in the fields and in the farmhouses etc locally and 1) i now live in a town now anyway but 2) even if i didnt, kids just dont tend to do the stuff i did as a kid any more due to it being potentially dangerous!......... but if we dont let him go out and roam about on his bike (and his friends dont either) then.... most of his mates are online now playing games and chatting that way.
I am more and more aware of the fact that i am an older parent and i think my values and views are somewhat out of touch in some areas as well which may be why i am not handling it that well
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That sounds so tough to deal with in terms of how he interacts with his mates, and we have similar thoughts about being dramatic or not. I remember 'gangs' in the playground at a similar age, I would try and talk with him about what that means but it's tricky to navigate as 'acceptance' is a big thing at that age. Self esteem plays a big part here for sure.
It's true the world works in a different way now, and for the most part that's not an improvement. I don't think you are particularly out of touch with what most parents would agree with, even younger ones. But some kids have a natural tendency to laziness and sitting on the sofa with a screen is less hard work and more dopamine than running outside and digging holes and climbing trees. Our eldest certainly will gravitate to the former if we just let it, I think parents have to remove that option as much as we can, but that takes effort and application, and we parents too can be lazy.
It's true the world works in a different way now, and for the most part that's not an improvement. I don't think you are particularly out of touch with what most parents would agree with, even younger ones. But some kids have a natural tendency to laziness and sitting on the sofa with a screen is less hard work and more dopamine than running outside and digging holes and climbing trees. Our eldest certainly will gravitate to the former if we just let it, I think parents have to remove that option as much as we can, but that takes effort and application, and we parents too can be lazy.
A lot of parents just let their kids do what they want and then are surprised when they are poorly adjusted, rude and a nightmare to raise. Some modern parenting is a good departure from the old but the neglect of old has just been replaced with a different kind of neglect. I mean, what do we expect. Adults are just as bad for the most part. Barely engaging with the real world and spending all their time doom scrolling while they have the TV on in the background.
Parenting is hard. Its hard enough to do a crap job and when there are such easy "outs" I think that a lot of people take them.
Right, I need some advice on how to curb the frankly ridiculous amount of crap we have in our house related to our boys. They have just had their second birthday and obviously we got mountains of crap. I have tried to put my foot down to little avail. Its utterly ridiculous. My partner seems to think its mean not to give them 90% of the toys people have bought for them "because they like them". Of course they like them, they're toys. The like car number 2. They also like car number 210. If you take away 90% of those cars they wouldn't even notice.
We don't have a large house. We don't have a large living room and we don't have a dedicated room for all their toys. God only knows how bad it would be if we did. I understand that its not quite as easy as just saying to tell people to stop giving them presents but its frankly got stupid. Why do we all do this? We spend so much time putting it all away. Keeping stuff with the 20 other items that are part of a set. Putting a million books away.
The argument I constantly hear is "other children have X" or "other children get Y". I don't care what other spoilt children get. Its driving me mad. We are wanting to move to a bigger house but I'm dreading the idea with her tendency to hoard.
We don't have a large house. We don't have a large living room and we don't have a dedicated room for all their toys. God only knows how bad it would be if we did. I understand that its not quite as easy as just saying to tell people to stop giving them presents but its frankly got stupid. Why do we all do this? We spend so much time putting it all away. Keeping stuff with the 20 other items that are part of a set. Putting a million books away.
The argument I constantly hear is "other children have X" or "other children get Y". I don't care what other spoilt children get. Its driving me mad. We are wanting to move to a bigger house but I'm dreading the idea with her tendency to hoard.
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Alternative shoe shops are available.
Soldato
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It's ok, now my daughter is 11 her toys get less and less. Just wait 9 more years
. We had an extension built for the kids toys, might seem excessive but it keeps the rest of the house (relatively) tidy. My 8 year still has some hot wheels stuff including a massive garage, although he's playing with it less and less. Might have to move it away at some point.