Ok, so...

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...the skin on my penis is of a considerably darker shade than the rest of my body, is there any way to whiten it?

I'm still a virgin, and I just realised that a girl might get a bit turned off when she sees it.

Thanks.

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Seriously, this is what you do. Seriously.

Go to the hardware store and get some cheese wire.

Heres what you do. Wrap the cheese wire around the underside of the "helmet" and loop it so its nice and tight. A bowmans loop makes sure it doesn't slip.

Now, go to the top of the house, and attach something heavy like a brick to the other end of the cheese wire. If you don't have a brick, a breeze block will do just as fine.

Now chuck it out the window and watch it whistle towards the ground and wait for the pleasant surprise!
 
Man goes to the Doctor.

Man: "Doc, my my Charles Dickens has turned orange"
Doc: "hmm, could be stress. What do you do for a living?"
Man: "Can't be that, I'm unemployed."
Doc: "What about women? Girlfriend problems?
Man: "Nah, I'm single.
Doc: So you're unemployed and single, what the hell do you do all day???
Man" Eat wotsits and watch porn, why??
 
Got to be the most random and legendary thread ever in GD, have some stars from me. :D

Daz? That always gets things whiter than white apparently.
 
Man goes to the Doctor.

Man: "Doc, my my Charles Dickens has turned orange"
Doc: "hmm, could be stress. What do you do for a living?"
Man: "Can't be that, I'm unemployed."
Doc: "What about women? Girlfriend problems?
Man: "Nah, I'm single.
Doc: So you're unemployed and single, what the hell do you do all day???
Man" Eat wotsits and watch porn, why??

Very good :)
 
Now that I've stopped laughing... :D

Well, you can get skin whitening cream, I think it's sold in places like China where some people want to look paler. It's like fake-tan in reverse... This is your best bet, but I'd be sure to ask the person in boots if it's ok to use on your John Thomas (that's if you can find it in boots)...
 
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