Ongoing project that saves my life.

Calranthe

Calranthe

Calranthe

Associate
Joined
5 Oct 2007
Posts
620
Most peoples projects are for leisure or play, a luxury hobby or something that looks nice, for me this is life support, no different that my Wife's dialysis was.
Some of you were on this Journey with me from 2018 saw my posts here as my Wife died.
https://forums.overclockers.co.uk/threads/news-on-wife-reason-for-being-away-for-a-day.18836959/

By March 2019 I was wrapping up my life, no reason to go on, nothing to live for, see not only was I diagnosed with Grief that was reset every time my PTSD kicked in but ADHD, Bi-polar type 2, Somewhere on the higher functioning autistic scale (still waiting on final review of that) but 7 days after Paola died I was diagnosed with Bowel cancer, 40% of my Bowels removed over Christmas of 2018 and nodules in my lungs that 6 monthly CT scan and blood work are keeping an eye on.

I had 4 different consultants and a Sr Psychologist trying to help me, both my GP and Samaritans rang me weekly to see if I was still alive, but Paola was the love of my life, I was completely broken and still am.

Now I have only one consultant who is sorting out my Autistic Diagnosis.

What Changed? In March 2019 I found a new life as a streamer Vloger.

Well this is the current Frankenstein's monster setup which is my treatment and therapy, it will always be an ongoing process via donations, gofundme's and me cannibalizing second hand parts.

AIt1Ejg.jpg

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It contains 2 primary computers a laptop, xbox one x, Ps4 a 47" TV and a 55" 4k, 3 cameras and a Valve Index setup. (and a ecoair portable aircon plugged into the old chimney breast which means this room stays at 19-20c even in our hottest days this year, my bay window has thermal foil behind the blind which reflects 99% of the direct sunlight)

I spent on average 16 hours a day in this room, in 17 months my only time leaving the house has been for blood tests and CT scans, people complain about 2-3 months of Lockdown *grins*

I can't exist in the outside world anymore even if I wasn't classed as high risk for Covid19.

My consultant is working on a paper with me about non medication treatment for Autistic, Bi-polar and ADHD and I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for this technology.

It helps me fight my depression, deal with my mania, work through my PTSD and deal with Grief.

I have 800+ people on my youtube channel, 1000+ on Twitch, 600+ followers on Twitter and my posts on Reddit regularly hit the front page, I talk about mental illness never hiding if I have bad days or good, all my videos are raw and unedited, in 17 months I have over 2000 videos on Youtube and have never missed a day, I can't game alone because it sets off my PTSD but I can stream games and make people laugh, I live to inspire people and it is enough.

So what is my current setup.

I am in the process of moving over to a dual PC streaming setup to better spread the load of the peripherals.

Gaming PC
i7 8700k.
32GB Corsair Vengeance. (both donated to me last year by a follower when he upgraded to a 9700k.)
Motherboard Gigabyte Aorus Pro Z390 Wifi.
Os Drive Samsung 950 pro m2
Steam/games drives Samsung SSD's 4TB total.
EVGA 1080TI FTW3 (took me 2 years to afford that)
Corsair AIO cooler, Fractal case.
27" Iiyama ProLite Monitor 1080p
Valve Index VR
(All this system does now is play games, with the 1080ti I probably still have years of use)

Encoding system
i7 6700k
16gb Team group memory.
Asus MB
2070 RTX EVGA
Elgato 60 pro capture card 1080p version.
OBS streaming software.
Panasonic Full HD Camcorder HC-V770
2* Logitech c270 cameras
Audio Technica AT2020USB+ Mic

Currently using virtual software to transfer audio to the encoding setup but buying a hardware mixer deck and XLR mic later this week, glitches can happen with the virtual stuff and latency is an issue within a dual PC setup the card captures the Gameplay but audio can be an issue thus the upgrades needed.

Laptop and 47" TV well that is for my Dog beryl (she is light sensitive and unlike most dogs loves watching video games and high action movies in fact I have to hide my phone at night because she figured out she could touch and activate it with her nose, this may sound fun but she found out how to turn the Xbox one off and on with her nose and I had to move it) if you watch my streams you will see her trying to get on my desk to watch the stream which means I can't see anything, so hooked up my old TV to the 47" TV and will run twitch on that for her to sit and watch.
People seem to love watching Beryl so one of the camera's is always on her.

This is going to be an ongoing project for as long as I am alive and still doing this.
 
Holy ******** mate - you are incredibly strong to have gone through what you've gone through. Respect!

I'm glad you found your coping strategy, and good luck with your projects.
 
Wow, sounds like you've been through a hell of a lot. Can only echo above that you are a very strong person

Now you've talked about it you may as well put up links to your twitch etc. I see plenty of people with links in their signatures so can't see it being an issue.
 
Sorry to hear what you have gone through and I am glad you have found an escape from it all. Keep doing whatever you need to do to keep yourself content!

Best of luck with everything.
 
Keep going strong mate and know this you are never alone,I know how you feel as I lost my mum a shirt while ago and thought my world would end but with it not been for my wife daughters and grandson I don't think I would have been here.
Hope your streaming goes from strength to strength in the future.
All the best from me.
 
jsmoke said:
What caused your PTSD?
Click to expand...
Go and read up on PTSD, then kick yourself for being ignorant enough to ask that question.

To the OP - kudos for finding a coping strategy. Recently diagnosed high-functioning autism here.
My 8 year old son was on Pathways from the age of 4, but we knew he was neuro-diverse well before then. It was strange seeing all the flags he raised and realising they were very familiar to my own behaviours, which led to me seeking a diagnosis.

Good days and not so good, but I have an incredible wife and four awesome kids to keep me grounded (also the reason I don't get to play 16 hours a day).
I'm not bragging - just acknowledging that I genuinely couldn't imagine life without my Mrs, so I cannot begin to comprehend the loss you've felt.

I'll be sure to check your channels out and subscribe - who knows, we may have some of the same "quirks".

Stay strong :)
 
RedMogg said:
Go and read up on PTSD, then kick yourself for being ignorant enough to ask that question.

To the OP - kudos for finding a coping strategy. Recently diagnosed high-functioning autism here.
My 8 year old son was on Pathways from the age of 4, but we knew he was neuro-diverse well before then. It was strange seeing all the flags he raised and realising they were very familiar to my own behaviours, which led to me seeking a diagnosis.

Good days and not so good, but I have an incredible wife and four awesome kids to keep me grounded (also the reason I don't get to play 16 hours a day).
I'm not bragging - just acknowledging that I genuinely couldn't imagine life without my Mrs, so I cannot begin to comprehend the loss you've felt.

I'll be sure to check your channels out and subscribe - who knows, we may have some of the same "quirks".

Stay strong :)
Click to expand...

I have it's usually a severe traumatic event such as war zone or rape.
 
jsmoke said:
What caused your PTSD?
Click to expand...
I went into hospital 8 weeks after Paola died, I had watched my Wife die in hospital was in the room as they tried to bring her back, watch them try to restart her heart, well after my six hour operation and 29cm wound I was put on Oxy something pain killers, bad reaction hallucinations, as I came out of surgery and heard all the beeps and noises in the recovery ward, I started to see Paola in the next bed being worked on, then I was Paola and they were trying to restart my heart, when I left hospital I had to throw away my bed, couldn't lay down no beds to sleep.
 
RedMogg said:
Go and read up on PTSD, then kick yourself for being ignorant enough to ask that question.

To the OP - kudos for finding a coping strategy. Recently diagnosed high-functioning autism here.
My 8 year old son was on Pathways from the age of 4, but we knew he was neuro-diverse well before then. It was strange seeing all the flags he raised and realising they were very familiar to my own behaviours, which led to me seeking a diagnosis.

Good days and not so good, but I have an incredible wife and four awesome kids to keep me grounded (also the reason I don't get to play 16 hours a day).
I'm not bragging - just acknowledging that I genuinely couldn't imagine life without my Mrs, so I cannot begin to comprehend the loss you've felt.

I'll be sure to check your channels out and subscribe - who knows, we may have some of the same "quirks".

Stay strong :)
Click to expand...

It is okay, one of the points of my channel is talking about all of this, Really happy you have a lovely family to support you. :)
 
Here is my Youtube channel and my Twitch stream.
Warning before hand, my brain gets locked into one direction sometimes so my daily updates will go through a week of gofundme updates done now, a week of covid19 updates, talks on life, love and happiness.
My games playlist sort of goes the same way, 2 weeks of The Long Dark, Assasins Creed, Bloons TD 6 and so on, I think that I am classed as a variety streamer.

https://www.twitch.tv/quebber

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCd0l4UJXXXVlYA1bxKUcJRQ
 
Acme said:
Yes and by asking you bring those events to the forefront of the mind and could trigger an episode.

Fortunately, it seems Calranthe is OK with talking about his experience.
Click to expand...

It is rough, for a long time I would end up in a ball as the entire death of my Wife would replay in my head with emotions color and sound, that is why I could never grieve properly because every time my PTSD hit I was reset back to day one.

So I talked on camera, over and over again, brought the monster into the light, sometimes I would be gripping my armrests so hard that I caused damage to my hands, it can still hit me but when I am streaming or playing a game, when the thought of Paola not being there and my brain starts to relive I can fight back because I am camera, I am connected to other people.
 
Calranthe said:
Here is my Youtube channel and my Twitch stream.
Warning before hand, my brain gets locked into one direction sometimes so my daily updates will go through a week of gofundme updates done now, a week of covid19 updates, talks on life, love and happiness.
My games playlist sort of goes the same way, 2 weeks of The Long Dark, Assasins Creed, Bloons TD 6 and so on, I think that I am classed as a variety streamer.

https://www.twitch.tv/quebber

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCd0l4UJXXXVlYA1bxKUcJRQ
Click to expand...

Subscribed - I watched your Free Valve Index vid and had to comment - really tickled me.

I look forward to working my way through your content - will make a change from watching "Things I'll Never Afford, In Places I'll Never Go", or "Colin Furze's Suicide Attempt No. 367".
 
RedMogg said:
Subscribed - I watched your Free Valve Index vid and had to comment - really tickled me.

I look forward to working my way through your content - will make a change from watching "Things I'll Never Afford, In Places I'll Never Go", or "Colin Furze's Suicide Attempt No. 367".
Click to expand...

Thank you :)

Here is this mornings update, inspired by this thread and all of you.


 
Yay :) Thank you for watching.
Now I need to get my head around this dual computer streaming which has it's own issues.

Pros
Primary PC is only used for playing the game, less resources needed and hooked up to a 1080p Monitor with a i7 8700k + 1080ti it will run pretty much anything for the foreseeable future with max detail.
No USB issues happening because all the camera's feed into the streaming/encoding pc.
A lot cheaper than building a beast of a machine to do both.

Cons
A convoluted audio system
Twice the power consumption
multiple points of failure

So the system works like this.
I game on the gaming pc graphics are passed to the encoding pc via a pcie Elgato 1080p 60fps card. pretty much 0 latency.
Audio from the gaming pc passes out via 3.5mm speaker jack to the mixer hardware and then into the line in 3.5 of the encoding pc.

OBS the streaming software combines the visuals with the audio and the mic which is also linked to the encoding pc into one smooth stream.
If you have latency between any of the points visual sound and voice can go out of sync.

Main issues

How do I receive Skype calls ?
I mean seriously how do I do it, no mic or headphone on my gaming pc, and skype on my encoding pc doesn't recognise the combined inputs from the mixer.

How do I stream or record VR because that has its own audio and visuals which the elgato can't handle.
 
Calranthe said:
Yay :) Thank you for watching.
Now I need to get my head around this dual computer streaming which has it's own issues.

Pros
Primary PC is only used for playing the game, less resources needed and hooked up to a 1080p Monitor with a i7 8700k + 1080ti it will run pretty much anything for the foreseeable future with max detail.
No USB issues happening because all the camera's feed into the streaming/encoding pc.
A lot cheaper than building a beast of a machine to do both.

Cons
A convoluted audio system
Twice the power consumption
multiple points of failure

So the system works like this.
I game on the gaming pc graphics are passed to the encoding pc via a pcie Elgato 1080p 60fps card. pretty much 0 latency.
Audio from the gaming pc passes out via 3.5mm speaker jack to the mixer hardware and then into the line in 3.5 of the encoding pc.

OBS the streaming software combines the visuals with the audio and the mic which is also linked to the encoding pc into one smooth stream.
If you have latency between any of the points visual sound and voice can go out of sync.

Main issues

How do I receive Skype calls ?
I mean seriously how do I do it, no mic or headphone on my gaming pc, and skype on my encoding pc doesn't recognise the combined inputs from the mixer.

How do I stream or record VR because that has its own audio and visuals which the elgato can't handle.
Click to expand...

A very quick Google returned this: https://uploadvr.com/how-to-stream-vr-games/
It mentions using OVRDROP.
As for sound - I would imagine a better mixer or HDMI grabber would be in order. 3.5mm output/input is almost guaranteeing quality and latency losses.

I've heard of this, but I'm not up to date on streaming multiple sources video/audio, but I'm sure there'll be plenty of streaming setup walkthroughs about.
 
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