opinions please
- Thread starter Privateer
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For a proper opinion I think we need more back story. Is he being overlly opportunistic or does he see you as really being separate?
It'd be one thing, IMO, if you two had been divorced for 10 years, and entirely if you've just split a month ago.
Probably rather shady either way though...
It'd be one thing, IMO, if you two had been divorced for 10 years, and entirely if you've just split a month ago.
Probably rather shady either way though...
I suppose the 6 year divorce helped him, but the friendship i had with Jess has completely gone.
Soldato
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What's the alternative to behaving then ?, and would that alternative best serve your kids ?, obviously it's they that are the most important thing in your life right now. If I asked you would you give your life to save your children I'm guessing you would say "gladly", if you can give them your life then you take heed in this matter and try to subdue the sting this is having on your pride atm for their sake, I certainly don't envy the position you are in but if your friend is a good man then I see no reason to act negativity, although hard, try to gage the current situation with objectivity,
As 'BillytheImpaler' says, a back story would be more helpful, my advice above is based on your friend being a 'good guy' and one that would look after your kids, if this is the case then in a sense this may not be such a bad thing, I'd rather have my children living with someone I know and trust rather than a stranger that I don't, but at the same time I won't deny it's obviously still a hard situation to deal with either way.
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out of all my Friends Andy is the biggest wimp, I behaved by not beating him up, but as a man Andy will never touch my kids, I suppose that's a +.
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how often do you see your kids? maybe you could make this into an oppertunity to see them more? 
"Im coming over to see my mate" and spend it with your lads playing raw is war on xbox instead.
"Im coming over to see my mate" and spend it with your lads playing raw is war on xbox instead.
Man of Honour
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If you've been divorced for 6 years then it doesn't seem quite so unreasonable for your ex-wife to be going out with someone else. The fact that he is/was a mate makes it somewhat more complicated but feelings aren't always all that simple or straightforward to begin with.
Has he ever spoken to you about it? Not necessarily to get your 'permission' but even just to ask your thoughts on the matter?
Has he ever spoken to you about it? Not necessarily to get your 'permission' but even just to ask your thoughts on the matter?
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doesnt matter tbh, if they want to be together he can rant all he wants it would still happen.
I think its just gonna be something to take getting used to. my bro finished with his ex and my mate snapped her up in a couple of weeks, he was fine with it, 5 years later they are happily married living together. Really happy for them. You should be glad that a friend has found happyness through you. It wasnt meant to be between you and your ex-wife clearly so at least you know your kids are around someone you know as a good person and wont mess them around.
Care to elaborate? you mean mentally or physically? If you mean physically then what does that have to do with him living with your kids unless they are likely to beat him up?
Care to elaborate? you mean mentally or physically? If you mean physically then what does that have to do with him living with your kids unless they are likely to beat him up?
I mean Physically, my other mates saved Andy from a good beating.
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woop dee doo. sound like a control freak now tbh.
Ok so what does that have to do with his ability to look after your kids? You were asked if he was a good guy not how handy he is with his fists.
Is he a decent bloke? if so you need to simply let this happen and be the best father you can be given the circumstances.
Man of Honour
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Maybe I phrased it badly but I just think it is polite to discuss it given it is obvious that feelings could still exist between them, it's a fairly simple case of respect. It isn't to do with ranting or asking permission, all that is needed is an acknowledgement that Privateer may still have feelings for this lady and an obvious link through the children if nothing else.
I don't disagree with the rest of your post, time will probably make it better or easier to cope with although 6 years you'd think would be a decent length of time so perhaps not.
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yeah I know what you mean - my mate phoned my bro up and asked him, bro never had a problem with it.
Soldato
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Did it bother you when they started going out or just now when he's moving in?
Seriously, you really should consider getting some help pal: 6 years divorced and you feel that you have some say in your ex's relationship ..... unless by your last statement you have thoughts of him being a child molester.
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Man of Honour
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I'm going to put my counselling hat on and break the rules by suggesting what your real problem is.
Do you think he was bonking her while you were still married?
If the answer is no then you seriously need help.
Do you think he was bonking her while you were still married?
If the answer is no then you seriously need help.
Unless hes an abusive type (which it doesnt sound like he is) then I cant see what the problem is. You should be happy that your ex is happy, or is it that you havent moved on and dont want her to be with anybody else, least of all a mate of yours.
Shes probably not had it easy being a single parent (even if youve been helping out its still not the same as two parents bringing up children together) and now the children are a bit older she wants a bit of time for herself and for someone to love her.
Wimp or not I think the bottom line here is that you havent really gotten over her and cant stand the fact that shes moved on.
Shes probably not had it easy being a single parent (even if youve been helping out its still not the same as two parents bringing up children together) and now the children are a bit older she wants a bit of time for herself and for someone to love her.
Wimp or not I think the bottom line here is that you havent really gotten over her and cant stand the fact that shes moved on.
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