We have a new born baby, only 10 days old at the moment. Thing is he will not settle anywhere other than in our arms. Putting him in his Moses basket results in constant screaming.
We know he's been fed, is clean and isn't too hot or cold, in short he just wants a fuss and some attention.
My opinion is that providing he is clean, not hungry and as far as we can tell not in pain, we should let him cry it out and get himself off to sleep. My fear is that constant picking up whilst crying will create a pattern and we'll have problems further down the line at 6 months.
My partner thinks this is a little too extreme for a 10 day old baby and that we should pick him up and give him a cuddle and sooth him back to sleep.
Neither of us are sure which option is correct so I'm looking for the experiences of any parents on the board who have had similar situations. Am I being too extreme given he is only 10 days old?
We have a 1 month old and this is pretty normal.
Don't believe the rubbish about spoiling babies or letting them cry themselves to sleep.
Babies are spoiled the day they pop out- they are used to 24-7 food and comfort. The outside world is extremely different to where they spent the last 9 months and is no where near as comforting. The first 3 months is often referred to the 4th trimester.
Newborns do not have the cognitive capacity to be manipulative or to do things to take advantage of you. They are simple machines, when they are hungry they fuss, when the are hot/cold they fuss, when they are uncomfortable they fuss. Preventing crushing in a newborn is not spoiling a baby- a baby cannot be spoiled.
It is completely natural the baby wants to be cuddled and in your arms because that is basically how it has spent the last 9 months, it is used to your body heat, your smell, your movements and to the pressure of the amniotic fluid. They are also used to be upside down and on their front, but you can never let a baby sleep it by itself on its front due to SIDS.
You just have to try slowly trying having the baby sleep alone for periods of a time and build up form there. Some key things are to swaddle the baby so it feels the same comfort as it was used to in the womb and the hands don't flail around and cause distress and injury (the sharp nails can easily cut their face
)
You can also try adding white noise and movement by using one of the baby rocker devices - this helps tremendously with ours. Babies are used to a near deafening world inside and white noise helps. They are used lots of movement as well. Your wife probably noticed that during pregnancy the baby never moved when she was up and about but when she lay in bed or sat on the sofa it would kick. That is because the movements made the baby sleep, the lack of movements would wake it up.
You also have to realize that for most babies their circadian rhythm is reversed- night time might be their most active period and daytime their quiet time. This just reflects the above - they are used to nighttime being when mum was still and they would move! You need to sleep when the baby sleeps, and that often means shorts periods of sleep frequently, spread throughout the day.
Over time they get more used to being by themselves for longer periods and learn to sleep more at night. Ours took around 2 weeks to do this, and it is still on and off. What we have now is that she is often much more wake an alert at times and so gets quickly bored of left alone.
Another thing that makes a baby fussy is gas. Burping is very important, and sometimes movement helps release a big fart or poop .
When they get older and then they can start to develop the ability to manipulate you and get spoiled- but newborns physically can't.
