Paying a compliment apparently a bad thing..?
- Thread starter TriedandTested
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lol
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Aye, i think this could be the best thing. I'll get her over for a coffee in the morning or something. 'av it out.
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ibot tbh lulz
you need to grab her boob and go (high pitch bicycle horn) "hackn hackn" that'll get her going - birds love it.
you need to grab her boob and go (high pitch bicycle horn) "hackn hackn" that'll get her going - birds love it.
I haven't read through all the replies yet and I don't know if you've gone back and tried to talk to her yet but here's my advice:
Send her an email or go round to her desk and say "hey got a min for a tea or coffee? I wanna talk to you about something".
In my office, there's a tea/coffee cantine so it's usually a good few minutes walk to it which is an ample opportunity to be nice and be yourself, the person she knows, and talk normally.
When you have your tea/coffee sit her down and just say it straight up like it is...
I think we get on very well and we have a genuine friendship which is rare and I hope that you feel you can be as completely honest with me as I feel I can be with you so that's why I wanted to say that I get the feeling something's changed. You seem to be a little distanced around me now and I'm just wondering if it had something to do with the compliment I paid you the other night when we were having drinks?
This will show her that A) you're not a baboon or a brute B) you're aware of yourself, what you say, and the effect it has on others C) you're mature enough to deal with what you perceive to be an issue head-on.
Re-assure her that her answer won't affect you either way, that you just wanted to make it clear that you were paying her a compliment because you meant it. It doesn't mean you want to date her or become 'more than friends'. Just be clear in that her company makes you feel comfortable and you only pay compliments to those you're comfortable with because otherwise someone not as close to you might misread it.
See what she says and respond accordingly.
In my experience of interacting with odd girls, and believe me I seem to attract all the nutjobs in the world cause every single one of them has had social and communication issues, I find the best policy is honesty. Just put it out there because she's one of two people. Either she'll be put to ease with knowing exactly where she stands or she'll revert even more and react negatively. If she does the latter, in my opinion you're doing yourself a favour cause it would've happened sooner or later.
hope it helps
Send her an email or go round to her desk and say "hey got a min for a tea or coffee? I wanna talk to you about something".
In my office, there's a tea/coffee cantine so it's usually a good few minutes walk to it which is an ample opportunity to be nice and be yourself, the person she knows, and talk normally.
When you have your tea/coffee sit her down and just say it straight up like it is...
I think we get on very well and we have a genuine friendship which is rare and I hope that you feel you can be as completely honest with me as I feel I can be with you so that's why I wanted to say that I get the feeling something's changed. You seem to be a little distanced around me now and I'm just wondering if it had something to do with the compliment I paid you the other night when we were having drinks?
This will show her that A) you're not a baboon or a brute B) you're aware of yourself, what you say, and the effect it has on others C) you're mature enough to deal with what you perceive to be an issue head-on.
Re-assure her that her answer won't affect you either way, that you just wanted to make it clear that you were paying her a compliment because you meant it. It doesn't mean you want to date her or become 'more than friends'. Just be clear in that her company makes you feel comfortable and you only pay compliments to those you're comfortable with because otherwise someone not as close to you might misread it.
See what she says and respond accordingly.
In my experience of interacting with odd girls, and believe me I seem to attract all the nutjobs in the world cause every single one of them has had social and communication issues, I find the best policy is honesty. Just put it out there because she's one of two people. Either she'll be put to ease with knowing exactly where she stands or she'll revert even more and react negatively. If she does the latter, in my opinion you're doing yourself a favour cause it would've happened sooner or later.
hope it helps
Maybe it came out wrong and you said
"You're fun and round"
which would indicate that you think she's fat, which would explain why she's off with you. Especially seen as she's fond of you
I'm confused...do you want her as more than a friend or what?
If you just want to be friends then compliments are fine (as complimenting her will not distinguish you from the other million blokes that probably pay her the same compliment day in day out) and if i were you id try and indicate that unlike the other 99% of blokes paying that same compliment you do not infact want to get into her knickers.
However, if you did infact want more than friendship you have effectively shown her that you are like the other 99% of blokes and have provided no challenge to her.
I suppose what we really need to know is how many compliments you messed up with.
J
If you just want to be friends then compliments are fine (as complimenting her will not distinguish you from the other million blokes that probably pay her the same compliment day in day out) and if i were you id try and indicate that unlike the other 99% of blokes paying that same compliment you do not infact want to get into her knickers.
However, if you did infact want more than friendship you have effectively shown her that you are like the other 99% of blokes and have provided no challenge to her.
I suppose what we really need to know is how many compliments you messed up with.
J
No no no!!!
It depends what you are trying to achieve here OP. If you do just want to be friends then have the honest discussion but once that's done there is no way back. (usually)
If it was just a passing compliment then that's okay but it depends how you said it and how you looked at her when you said it. Either way without you directly telling her she probably doesn't know how you feel about her. Logically she should but she is female so logic doesn't apply here. Basically you shouldn't tell her how you feel, you should show her.
I would say leave it, let her have her moment of confusion but you just act the same. **** her off for being stroppy. If she mentions anything about the comment then laugh at her and say it was only because she looked slightly better than usual and that wasn't saying much. Accuse her of fancying you etc.
So what is it that you want? Do you want to take things further or just be friends?
Soldato
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Genuine help only please guys and gals.
She's a woman, how the hell are any of us supposed to know what's going though her brain?
I think you should go speak to her... Best when thing are clear..
do you guys think you can be friend with someone you showed that you liked more than friend but that she didnt think the same thus rendering your next contacts very awkward. Happened to me this week-end and i dont know if i should go talk to her showing her that im not a kind of stalker that is going to disturb her or just let her away from me.
do you guys think you can be friend with someone you showed that you liked more than friend but that she didnt think the same thus rendering your next contacts very awkward. Happened to me this week-end and i dont know if i should go talk to her showing her that im not a kind of stalker that is going to disturb her or just let her away from me.