Peer pressure

Soldato
Joined
7 Nov 2005
Posts
4,951
Location
Widnes
Hey,

I thought at University I'd be past all that peer pressure to smoke and do drugs but apparently not. On a night out I do drink, but not enough to get so smashed out of my face that I don't remember what happened the night before.

My question to you is; Is there peer pressure at University to drink excessively? How many of you drink just because your friends will comment about it if you don't?

I've been getting a fair amount of flak about my drinking habits from my new flatmates. They seem to think I'm weird because I don't drink myself silly. I do drink but I'm sensible. My idea of a good night isn't one you can't remember. I think I actually had less pressure to drink when I was 16 when I didn't drink at than I receive now!
 
Soldato
Joined
10 Sep 2008
Posts
11,972
Location
Bangor, Northern Ireland
You would think at University age people would grow up a bit. If you dont want to smoke or do drugs then dont do them, why should someone be able to convince you to do something you dont want to? I can assume you are at least 18 so you should be mature enough to ignore them from pressuring you. Same thing for the drinking to excess. But if you are that uncomfortable with it you could always make up an excuse like you're broke or something...
 
Associate
Joined
12 Jun 2003
Posts
2,033
Location
Either Tonbridge or Biggin Hill
I don't think there's any such thing as peer pressure, it's all down to how strong you are as a person.

Frankly, it's up to you if you drink to excess or not. Don't even worry about what your flatmates say. Suggest to them that you do it because you actually want a working liver when you leave university...
 
Soldato
Joined
28 Nov 2002
Posts
11,128
Location
Cumbria
drink what you want , ignore your friends taking the ****

its only pressure if you let it affect you
 
Associate
Joined
12 Jun 2003
Posts
2,033
Location
Either Tonbridge or Biggin Hill
Tell them to kindly **** off?
Remember he has to live with these people. Being rude to them will only make the situation worse.

I remember when I started university, I was in Halls with 5 other people, away from home in a strange town (Middlesbrough!) and I needed all the friends and support that I could get. It was lonely enough when I was getting on with everyone, I dread to think how it could have been if I'd fallen out with my flatmates.
 
Soldato
Joined
21 Oct 2002
Posts
14,595
Location
Wellington, NZ
Remember he has to live with these people. Being rude to them will only make the situation worse.

I remember when I started university, I was in Halls with 5 other people, away from home in a strange town (Middlesbrough!) and I needed all the friends and support that I could get. It was lonely enough when I was getting on with everyone, I dread to think how it could have been if I'd fallen out with my flatmates.

They're the ones being rude and acting like sheep. It'd annoy me if someone told me how much I should or shouldn't be drinking.

actually it probably wouldn't, unless they did it constantly all night.
 
Associate
Joined
12 Jun 2003
Posts
2,033
Location
Either Tonbridge or Biggin Hill
I agree to an extent, instead of "how strong person you are" I would replace that with "If you can think for yourself"
True. I used to listen to what my friends thought far too much and made too many decisions based on what 'they' thought.

Now, I'm older and I know my own mind well enough not to let what my friends think make my mind up. Sure I'll listen to what they have to say but I make my own decisions.

I sympathise with Kemik, because it's easy for me to sit here in my lounge and say 'don't take any notice' - but I'm not the one there having to defend myself to to my housemates.
 
Soldato
Joined
7 Nov 2005
Posts
4,951
Location
Widnes
I might have given the wrong impression here. I will definitely not give in to "peer pressure". I moved out so I could do my own thing, not just what they thought was normal. I just found it weird how people of my age and older can think harassing someone to do something they don't want to do is ok. I thought they would have accepted someone's decision by this age. I can understand questioning why someone never comes out of their room but I've been the want asking them to come on nights out!

Remember he has to live with these people. Being rude to them will only make the situation worse.

That's the problem sometimes. The other day was the worst. I had to carry a female flatmate home because she was so out of it and kept falling over. Once we got home they carried on screaming and shouting and I wasn't in the mood so I went to bed. The same girl decided to start kicking my door, shouting abuse because I wasn't in the living room drinking. I would have given her a mouth full but I have to live with them for another 8 months. I need some of them on my side.

To be fair, they're ok people and I get on with them. It's just when they've had a drink they start getting annoying.
 
Last edited:
Soldato
Joined
11 Jun 2005
Posts
3,606
Location
Liverpool
I find there is always a bit of pressure, but it varies a lot depending who I am with. When I go out drinking with a group of mates from uni, it's no big deal really so not much pressure at all to drink too much, but at parties meeting strangers, there do tend to be more people trying to pressure you into drinking more.

What I find is the best way is to just make sure I have a drink, beer works best, but nobody really comments much even when it's water - compared to when you don't have a drink then they try and offer to get you one and are still insistent when you tell them you don't want/need one. It's just easier to do this than keep telling someone that I don't want to drink.

Alternatively, telling people I don't drink at all (when I've stopped drinking for a few months) at first people do say "oh go on have a beer" and try and persuade you, but after a while they accept that you don't drink and so stop commenting on it as it's no longer unusual. I'd expect that similarly with your flatmates, as you go out more with them they will get to realize you don't drink yourself silly and would hopefully just accept it as it won't be too unusual either. Keep doing what you want to do, I'm sure it won't take too long for them to stop commenting on how much you drink.
 
Soldato
Joined
11 May 2007
Posts
8,303
Guess it depends on your friends and their mentality.

The 3 years I've been at uni I've had decent housemates who might joke now and then, but never do or say anything that can be seen as 'peer pressure'.

I will drink when I want and how I like, peer pressure needn't be a probem unless you're incapable of being yourself.
 
Soldato
Joined
7 Mar 2005
Posts
17,481
I had a lot of incessant questioning about my non-drinking of alcohol initially, but by the end of the second night everyone had figured out I don't drink because I don't like it. My own choice.

That's the problem sometimes. The other day was the worst. I had to carry a female flatmate home because she was so out of it and kept falling over. Once we got home they carried on screaming and shouting and I wasn't in the mood so I went to bed. The same girl decided to start kicking my door, shouting abuse because I wasn't in the living room drinking. I would have given her a mouth full but I have to live with them for another 8 months. I need some of them on my side.

Yeah, drunk flatmates are annoying, I had to live with a guy who'd often bring home a drunk Irish rabble with him - they tended to throw stuff around and kick on the doors etc. Not very fun when you're trying to get some sleep...

Which uni are you going to?
 
Associate
Joined
25 Aug 2007
Posts
214
I'm not sure if you're speaking about first years or not, but it's worth remembering they're the same people who've just come out of sixth form and probably the longest holiday of their lives so they're unlikely to have had the experience of growing up from uni yet. People do in general seem a bit quieter and more mature after they've been living on their own and realising they've got work to do in the later years.

That said, the whole binge drinking culture is advertised throughout the whole of university.

Edit: If you're having problems dealing with it, try making sure you've got a glass of something in front of you all the time and just drink it ultra slow. It's often people feeling uncomfortable drinking whilst you're just sitting their watching them and if you've got something with you then they're less likely to try to persuade you to go get another drink.
 
Last edited:
Soldato
Joined
7 Nov 2005
Posts
4,951
Location
Widnes
I'm not sure if you're speaking about first years or not,

Third years. One of them is 24. Luckily after having a word with one of them he's starting to back me up and keep them off my back.

Hopefully they'll leave it once they realise their attempts are pointless.
 
Associate
Joined
13 Sep 2008
Posts
395
Why should he have to lie?

There's no shame in not wanting to drink to excess like his housemates. In fact, he should be respected for drinking sensiblly.

Mainly for them to get off his case, its not a lie because your afraid, but more of a lie to shut them up.
 
Top