Well it came to light at my work just how much it can pay to look into what your pension is invested in. Our pension is run by Legal and General and someone in my office is on the same plan that I was, as in the default plan Legal and General set us up on. To date their pension has risen 16% and mine just over 32%. I realise it is still a gamble and tomorrow I could have lower gains than them. That's the tricky bit, knowing when to invest back into a slightly lower risk fund. I'm 46 so a fair few years yet until I retire. We didn't expect the gain difference to be so big to be honest.
The word risk, in terms of investments, means volatility.
Your assumptions are based on the meaning of the word risk in the normal meaning of it outside of financial assets.
So for example your friend will never have higher returns than you, your friend already gave up on those returns by having more bonds thus giving lower volatility for less return.
Risk aligns with volatility only when you are about to, or have already retired, a huge drop in that moment, when you have forced sales, is very bad.
To compensate this you buy fixed income, separately (not combined funds), i.e. buy two funds, one is 100% equity, the other 100% fixed income.
You retire, market crashes, you then sell fixed income assets, and hopefully it recovers before you start selling the equity