Preferred pronouns

[Angilion]

How many times have you been called she instead of he?

New concept…. You’ve been called he your whole life I gather, and so have every other person, defined by their gender daily, it’s part of language and identity. Two very important factors, which I imagine are quite annoying to be consistently referred to as the wrong one.

It's never bothered me. People usually apologise. I assure them I don't mind. It doesn't happen face to face nowadays, not since I got bulkier, started going bald and shaved my head. But it still happens on the phone. When I was younger, it happened fairly often face to face as well. I have an androgynous voice and an androgynous appearance when I'm clean shaven. Add in a gracile build and waist length hair and it was unsurprisingly quite common for people to think I was a woman. It's not a big deal.

And no, my sex is not part of my identity. Other people use it that way, including at me, but they can go **** into the wind. If they're not my doctor or my lover, my sex shouldn't be of any relevance to them let alone what defines me. I reject the "they're all the same" belief, which is what biological group identity is.

 

[Freefaller]

How many times have you been called she instead of he?

New concept…. You’ve been called he your whole life I gather, and so have every other person, defined by their gender daily, it’s part of language and identity. Two very important factors, which I imagine are quite annoying to be consistently referred to as the wrong one.

I've been called wrong things many times. I just correct them. And move on. Not a big deal.

 

[Tefal]

Not really any different than using someone's name is it?


If you're introduced to someone and they say

"Hi my name is Sarah"

How many would have ever responded with


"OK thats great but I disagree so I'm going to call you Jane"

?

 

[Caracus2k]

Not really any different than using someone's name is it?

It demonstrably is.

As I have previously mentioned there have been instances where even supposedly pro alphabet people groups and individuals have managed to not use the preferred pro nouns of another person.

A poster earlier in this thread when talking about a 'non binary' person rendered to them as 'she'.

This poster has often made posts suggesting they are supportive of trans people and self ID.

It's far easier to an call a bearded man Sue than it is to consistently refer to them using some obscure pro nouns or they/them.

 

[Tefal]

It demonstrably is.

As I have previously mentioned there have been instances where even supposedly pro alphabet people groups and individuals have managed to not use the preferred pro nouns of another person.

A poster earlier in this thread when talking about a 'non binary' person rendered to them as 'she'.

This poster has often made posts suggesting they are supportive of trans people and self ID.

It's far easier to an call a bearded man Sue than it is to consistently refer to them using some obscure pro nouns or they/them.

OK yes a name is just one word so very easy...well two with a surname, maybe 3 or 4 if there's a middle or a hyphen.

But pronouns are a whole 2 words and so incredibly difficult to remember.

Perhaps just grunting and pointing would be more your level?

 

[dlockers]

It demonstrably is.

As I have previously mentioned there have been instances where even supposedly pro alphabet people groups and individuals have managed to not use the preferred pro nouns of another person.

A poster earlier in this thread when talking about a 'non binary' person rendered to them as 'she'.

This poster has often made posts suggesting they are supportive of trans people and self ID.

It's far easier to an call a bearded man Sue than it is to consistently refer to them using some obscure pro nouns or they/them.

I think most HR systems/WorkDay the like already show first name. So the rest is up to you

 

[Fubsy]

I'm also a he that has more than

OK yes a name is just one word so very easy...well two with a surname, maybe 3 or 4 if there's a middle or a hyphen.

But pronouns are a whole 2 words and so incredibly difficult to remember.

Perhaps just grunting and pointing would be more your level?

The bit in bold.

It's not so much the words, but having to remember who to associate them too and the cost* of getting it wrong. This gets harder and harder the more people you happen to interact with each day. I'm "lucky" in that I may only interact with a few new people a month - others will be in the hundreds.

*The cost can vary from embarrassment for either party, correction, to full blown character assassination to mention a few. It's too risky to partake, but now also becoming risky to join in if you get it wrong.

 

[hurfdurf]

I've been called wrong things many times. I just correct them. And move on. Not a big deal.

Indeed, to you it’s not, as someone born into the body they identify as. Now multiply it by a million times over and stick you into a position where you’ve got massive insecurities over the issue, and I’m sure you could see you might want someone to use the pronouns you identify with.

I’m glad you’ve not had any issues and have simply been able to get over it. That’s a fine privilege you have there. Recognise that other people don’t have it.

 

[Freefaller]

Indeed, to you it’s not, as someone born into the body they identify as. Now multiply it by a million times over and stick you into a position where you’ve got massive insecurities over the issue, and I’m sure you could see you might want someone to use the pronouns you identify with.

I’m glad you’ve not had any issues and have simply been able to get over it. That’s a fine privilege you have there. Recognise that other people don’t have it.

I still feel we're creating solutions for problems that don't need solving for a minority of people. Creating eggshells for people to walk on. Just correct someone and move on with your life.

But I guess we'll have to agree to disagree.

 

[dlockers]

I still feel we're creating solutions for problems that don't need solving. Creating eggshells for people to walk on.

But I guess we'll have to agree to disagree.

There are lots of problems out there that you are blissfully unaware of. This is one with very little consequence to back.

 

[Freefaller]

There are lots of problems out there that you are blissfully unaware of. This is one with very little consequence to back.

If you say so.

 

[SexyGreyFox]

How many times have you been called she instead of he?

When I was younger up to say around 45, I was mistaken all the time because of my long corkscrew hair and girly face but nobody would make that mistake now.
It never bothered me, I'd just smirk because I suppose I was going for that look.
My best mate was with me last night and we were reminiscing that when we first met around 1985 we both thought we were girls.

 

[Caracus2k]

OK yes a name is just one word so very easy...well two with a surname, maybe 3 or 4 if there's a middle or a hyphen.

But pronouns are a whole 2 words and so incredibly difficult to remember.

Perhaps just grunting and pointing would be more your level?

I am going to be charitable and assume you just did not read my previous posts properly.

If I had said I had a particular struggle to use preferred pronouns correctly you might be somewhat more justified in trying to try and liken me to some more basic hominid who would communicate mostly by grunting.

However I was quite clear that even the pro trans agenda people cant get this stuff right....


Here is Mermaids calling a they/ them a 'he'. (because everyone can see the emperor has no clothes and that Owen Hurcum is a man)

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1393667929053532164

They then lied about it and tried to blame Grammarly rather than fully admit their mistake.

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1393629996401430529

Grammarly called them out on their lies and they deleted their tweets hoping no one would remember.

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1393615047444811776

If Mermaids, of all groups, can't consistently get this right why should the rest of us be expected to play along?

 

[Tyron]

There are lots of problems out there that you are blissfully unaware of. This is one with very little consequence to back.

Cancel culture has entered the chat...

 

[BallistixOnZ490]

 

[Angilion]

Not really any different than using someone's name is it? [..]

Yes, it is. For these two reasons:

1) The consequences of getting it wrong are far more extreme.
2) When the pronouns in questioned are sexed as well as gendered (as some pronouns are in English), using those pronouns requires a person to actively express agreement with an idea they might not agree with.

The chosen answer to the question on this page explains it very well:

https://scifi.stackexchange.com/questions/12050/why-four-lights

 

[BallistixOnZ490]

If Mermaids, of all groups, can't consistently get this right why should the rest of us be expected to play along?

Its like suddenly redefining red to blue, and if you call it red again by habbit, off to jail you go.

 

[Digital X]

Jailed for misgendering? whatever next.

Jail is a bit much just for that. Unless there's more I'm not getting.

 

[dlockers]

Jailed for misgendering? whatever next.

Jail is a bit much just for that. Unless there's more I'm not getting.

Well I'm guessing at least 9000000% you didn't bother reading the article, so yep there is more you aren't getting

 

[SexyGreyFox]

Well I'm guessing at least 9000000% you didn't bother reading the article, so yep there is more you aren't getting

It's worse when you read it, what an ordeal for a parent to go through.