Relationship thread with a difference.

Soldato
Joined
18 Oct 2002
Posts
10,271
Every thread on this forum about a relationship seems to be about having broken up or some god awful reason, even the advice and hugs thread has descended into a how to repair a broken relationship circle jerk, and any advice has been lost in the depths of crying man babies. :D

Forgive me for thinking that maybe it would be an idea to share tips and tricks on how to actually make things work, cause I'm sure it probably not always the lasses fault and that maybe just maybe, some of us have a good idea here and there and we could pool them together. I know there are lots of married men on here, and I'm sure they didn't manage that by accident. Think of it as a cheat sheet to ward of the arguments from the crazies. Hey even the very few women on the board could give us tip or two.

I for one have had several LTR and I still could do with a little advice, I may even have a few things to contribute.
Might be an idea not to contribute after hours advice, and hopefully, I say hopefully although we men are emotionally stunted, we might be able to express Don Juan tips without trolls telling us we are gay (ironically)
However if you think it's a stupid idea then 3 - 2 - 1 to GAY!!!!!
Obviously this could backfire too if the advice is bad, so, I add the disclaimer that I might be talking smack and you should not listen to me or anyone else for that matter, and since I'm not married what do I know. :D

So I shall start the embarrassment................

Women like you to be spontaneous, now to most men this sounds like a horrendous amount of work, thinking about what to do and when to surprise them etc. My best way to keep things spontaneous every now and again isn't to constantly think about new ways and ideas to do that, it's just never tell them what your planning to do. Don't discuss your ideas to take them to a concert or dinner or film or whatever you were planning to buy them, just do it. You were going to anyway but this way your preplanned and prediscussed options become mysteriously unplanned. Winner!

Stay in shape, no one likes a fatty so why should she. Plus women desire a man much much more that are desirable to other women, looking good is a sure fire way to achieve her attention.
Dress well, it's not hard, just find a movie star or sportsman who looks good and copy it if need be.



;)
 
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I've always found that relationships are the most stable when people are just open and honest with each other. If you can't do that then perhaps they're just not the right person for you.

It's not about how many shiny things you buy them, that's just for added bonus :p. If your relationship is built upon you 'surprising' them with expenditures then i feel sorry for you.

It's just nice to take them out sometimes, and it's not that difficult to identify a person's interests and work with that, but it shouldnt be the foundation of a relationship by any means..
 

  • For those that are married (esp. if you have kids) make the time to go on "date-nights" at least monthly, more if possible.

  • Share household duties

  • Take time to spoil each other

  • Don't hide things from each other, particularly around buying things. Big purchases need to be discussed as a couple
 
It's very easy to become too comfortable and complacent in a good relationship.

The spontaneity and fitness is definitely worth remembering.
 
I know it sounds like a lot of work, but actually having a balanced life to relationship ratio is important, if you are either spending too much time together or apart its going to fail IMO. Having time for a hobby aside from her/him is a good idea.
I have seen so many people who just breathe the same air and are attached at the hip fail after the first year.

Plus is makes you interesting if your not sat at home being boring.

Don't be jealous, either trust them or decide whether it's worth it. Jealous only makes you feel like crap and helps no one.
 
On my second marriage and going well.

Treat her every now and then without telling her. Even simple as flowers out of the blue works.
Be nice to her in bed, make time to treat her desires only and forget about yourself for once.
Switch the goggle box off once a week, get some wine and chat.
 
One things I always always try to think is this.
If it feels like your acting like a cooooing man baby with affection, it's because you probably are. There is a line between being nice to her and constantly texting her, rubbing her skin and looking in her eyes etc.
It's a good thing now and again but this is very important at the start of a relationship, don't keep pandering to her every whim. Younger people learn this in their first relationship.
 
Is it me, or does OP seem to be putting a lot of effort into being someone else? trying to make his SO jealous by attracting other women? yeah bro seems really solid basis.

If you have to change yourself or work that hard, its not right.

I've always found that relationships are the most stable when people are just open and honest with each other. If you can't do that then perhaps they're just not the right person for you.

It's not about how many shiny things you buy them, that's just for blow jobs :p. If your relationship is built upon you 'surprising' them with expenditures then i feel sorry for you.

It's just nice to take them out sometimes, and it's not that difficult to identify a person's interests and work with that, but it shouldnt be the foundation of a relationship by any means..

FTFY :P
 
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Is it me, or does OP seem to be putting a lot of effort into being someone else? trying to make his SO jealous by attracting other women? yeah bro seems really solid basis.

If you have to change yourself or work that hard, its not right.



FTFY :P

Not at all, it subliminal and very helpful. I don't do it too her I do it for her and myself.
It's by no means changing myself, it's about being the best person I can.
I think that makes a good point really, anything you wouldn't want done to you is equal to what she wouldn't want done to her.

I would not want a girl to get fat, and I would not be happy for her to start wearing sweat pants out of the house etc. Your not right if you think having a big fat smelly blob on your arm is ok as long as you are in a relationship, that's going to end well:rolleyes:

Another tip I have. During the year when ever you hear her say, ohhh I'd like one of those, or I wish I could do that. Add a little note to your phone, and come birthdays or Christmas you will have a wealth of ideas on what to get rather than panicking. Takes seconds, saves hours.
 
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