Saying "Yes"

Man this thread has made me remember something... the only thing i regret doing in my life - I said no:

Short story is I was sitting in a starbucks having coffee while my gf was looking at shoes, an Itallian looking and sounding lady walked past the window and stared at me... she came in with a young blonde girl and asked if I would consider cutting my hair for modelling (I have long hair!).

I totally knee jerked and just said no without thinking as I didn't want to cut my hair! But I never even asked what it was for or anything or how much money I would have got! so stupid!

I'm guessing it wasn't for porn or I could have kept my hair haha! It's annoying thought as I probably would've done it if paid decent enough! I at least am curious to know what it was for :S
 
Docaroo said:
Man this thread has made me remember something... the only thing i regret doing in my life - I said no:

Short story is I was sitting in a starbucks having coffee while my gf was looking at shoes, an Itallian looking and sounding lady walked past the window and stared at me... she came in with a young blonde girl and asked if I would consider cutting my hair for modelling (I have long hair!).

I totally knee jerked and just said no without thinking as I didn't want to cut my hair! But I never even asked what it was for or anything or how much money I would have got! so stupid!

I'm guessing it wasn't for porn or I could have kept my hair haha! It's annoying thought as I probably would've done it if paid decent enough! I at least am curious to know what it was for :S
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man, that's your biggest regret?? you probably would have got the princely sum of a new haircut out of it, from a trainee hairdresser, you didn't miss much
 
sara said:
I started saying 'yes!' when people asked me to do something or go somewhere - and by the end of the following year I had (stolen from my blog post done afterwards):
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You know some of those things don't look like they apply at all to saying the word yes. In fact many things you just cannot do by just saying yes.
Which leads me to, it's a load of poppycock and you're just living your life as you choose!
Otherwise I have a ton of stories for you where "yes" ended up being "oh god, help me" ;). (not actually going to, just for explanations sake)

In fact, some people can't just do things like that at will, unless you have a lot of free time and enough money.
 
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Oh boo, ChrisJSY.

The point is I was not going anywhere and unlikely to do any of those things for quite some time before I realised how bored I was with everything that was not happening.

OK so some things were expensive - TBH I couldn't afford a lot of it, I did some things between jobs, and I dipped well into my overdraft (a hangover from being a student) and a couple of years later I have only just managed to break even now. But it was definitely worth it.
 
I liked the film and understand the message. But results of saying both yes or no can have either positive or negative results. so....yeh.

If you really want to do something, you will do it. If you have doubts and are trying to think of reasons not to do it then chances are you don't.
 
D.P. said:
It is interesting concept but ultimately flawed. Lots of people need to learn to say No more often to stop them selfs being exploited.

The true moral of the story is you should always think before saying such things.
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I take it more to mean accepting invitations / opportunities than blindly saying Yes. If I've no (good) reason to turn something down I'll make every effort. So last weekend, for example, a mate asked if I'd help out their saturday league team as they were a man down - I haven't played proper footie in 5 years and it was the otherside of London but I had no other plans so agreed. Ended up having a great time, met a load of new people and will probably play again at some point.

It woud've been easy to say it was too far for me to travel, or I hadn't played in years but I manned up and went for it.
 
Abraham said:
man, that's your biggest regret?? you probably would have got the princely sum of a new haircut out of it, from a trainee hairdresser, you didn't miss much
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you never know! and neither will I!

I probably would've still said no, but still wish I knew what it was for!
 
Efour2 said:
Its fiction lol, please don't base your life on this. Sure dont turn some opportunities, why would you anyway ?!?!?!?!

if some guy says to you join my nazi death cult, have a think.

Its so romantic and all but jeez.
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I don't plan on basing my life on this, and have already said further through the thread about thinking before saying yes and choosing when to say yes.

The part I was taking from the film was saying Yes to things that you wouldn't necessarily say yes to.

In regards to your "Sure dont turn some opportunities, why would you anyway ?!?!?!?!" I frequently say No to opportunities because I have got into the habit of saying No because I couldn't be bothered doing things (due to depression which was caused by the intial boredom and turning into a loop).
 
Volcs said:
I take it more to mean accepting invitations / opportunities than blindly saying Yes. If I've no (good) reason to turn something down I'll make every effort. So last weekend, for example, a mate asked if I'd help out their saturday league team as they were a man down - I haven't played proper footie in 5 years and it was the otherside of London but I had no other plans so agreed. Ended up having a great time, met a load of new people and will probably play again at some point.

It woud've been easy to say it was too far for me to travel, or I hadn't played in years but I manned up and went for it.
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However you could have broken your leg, been in a car accident on the way or been away when someone close needed you to save their life...

An example from me. First year of uni and I was out with my housemate and his friends housemates. One girl in particular was to my fancy, and she spent the entire way home trying to kiss me, then invited me to her room... I said no, and sort of regretted it partially ever since (I did like her and she was hot...) If I had I would have probably dated her for at least a few weeks (maybe even still be with her, but doubtful).

However if that was the case I wouldn't have dated another girl a couple of weeks later, that lasted a couple of months BUT we remained friends ever since, and her along with one of her friends became my best friends at uni, really making it fun. I also then met my current GF through them, who I probably wouldn't have met otherwise, I've been with her for the last 16months...

I met the first girl at graduation recently, she's still hot and I did for a few minutes wonder what may have been, however i'm totally satisfied with the way things went.

So moral of the story is saying "yes" could mean you miss out on something even better because of it, or you could miss out on something fantastic... So in reality unless you say no to everything just carry on with your life the way you do now.:p
 
my mates would absolutly slaughter me if they knew i was going to try this so no i just couldn't justify it, but as for opportunitys like going out and doing out or the norm things i should say yes moaaar!
 
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Jambo said:
Anyone else reading, will you please read the book Yes Man by Danny Wallace? ;)
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No. :p I've already read it so I'm happy not to read it again for the moment but it was an entertaining book as most of Mr Wallace's literary efforts are.

Amp34 said:
So moral of the story is saying "yes" could mean you miss out on something even better because of it, or you could miss out on something fantastic... So in reality unless you say no to everything just carry on with your life the way you do now.:p
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Alternatively if you'd said yes things might conceivably have turned out even better than they have for you just now. It isn't a situation that you can foresee the results definitively so you pays your money and you takes your chances... I refer to Soren Kierkegaard here “I see it all perfectly; there are two possible situations - one can either do this or that. My honest opinion and my friendly advice is this: do it or do not do it - you will regret both.”.

I do think that accepting opportunities where you can is generally a good idea though unless you've got a decent reason for refusal - it seems at least probable that the more opportunities you take the greater the chances of something positive or at least interesting happening to you is better. I also suspect it has something to do with your state of mind, generally speaking I've found that people who have a very negative outlook on life will tend to have more problems in their life than those who are more upbeat (or maybe those with less positive attitudes just complain about it more?) - there are almost certainly exceptions but at least anecdotally I've found that to be the case.
 
semi-pro waster said:
Alternatively if you'd said yes things might conceivably have turned out even better than they have for you just now. It isn't a situation that you can foresee the results definitively so you pays your money and you takes your chances... I refer to Soren Kierkegaard here “I see it all perfectly; there are two possible situations - one can either do this or that. My honest opinion and my friendly advice is this: do it or do not do it - you will regret both.”.

I do think that accepting opportunities where you can is generally a good idea though unless you've got a decent reason for refusal - it seems at least probable that the more opportunities you take the greater the chances of something positive or at least interesting happening to you is better. I also suspect it has something to do with your state of mind, generally speaking I've found that people who have a very negative outlook on life will tend to have more problems in their life than those who are more upbeat (or maybe those with less positive attitudes just complain about it more?) - there are almost certainly exceptions but at least anecdotally I've found that to be the case.
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That's exactly what I was trying to say, that although yes can make your life better (in whatever way), you may also cut off a better opportunity in the long run, you need to think it through in a way as you never know how that yes is going to turn out (for better or for worse). However yes, people who jump on lifes chances are normally more positive, however they are also more likely to be that guy in the news, that skydived into the floor, or crashed his bike... (not that that stops me, the more dangerous the better!):p
 
mac1st3 said:
I was the same, I'd get annoyed with people and refuse to go out, ended up sitting at home bored, then decided to start saying yes, met new people had more fun and now I find myself wanting more opportunities to say "yes" to, else I feel stagnated and bored
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This is because the 'vicious circle' works both ways.

People who say no to 'everything' can sometimes be moderately happy because they are have got used to what they have and are quite happy entertaining themselves (e.g. computer geeks like me).
Once you get a taste for the 'yes lifestyle' it can be a downer because it makes you feel more left out when you aren't involved.

One thing that is worth mentioning I believe is the importance of first/early impressions people make of you. Say yes lots (i.e. generally be proactive and socialable) when you first meet people and they are more likely to interact with you in the future, even if you're not actually any 'better' as a person than you would be had you just sat in the corner keeping quiet. This is one of the reasons why so many people are able to re-invent themselves in new surroundings (e.g. going to uni), because they are starting from a clean slate and haven't got themselves a bad reputation.
 
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