Scared of the future
- Thread starter Neil79
- Start date
I would probably be characterised as "PDD-NOS" these days though when I was at school they diagnosed it as "borderline" autism... so not sure really its comparable but I'm 2 months into a customer facing role at work (at the age of 33) which would have been inconceivable up until recently its hard to explain really but somewhere over the last 2-3 years I learnt to recognise how I wasn't coping with situations I wasn't prepared for and while I can't cope with them I've learnt to manage that inability to cope, I've been blessed with an agressive ability for self analysis however which probably helps.
EDIT: Have to say while it takes a lot of out of me, I've never felt so normal in my life as dealing with random members of the public heh.
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With love and the right training, anything is possible. True you cannot change who you are, though you can learn to overcome fear. You have to want to get up though and grow up and leave childish things behind. Took me fourty three years to start doing that, I highly reccommend starting earlier.
You converse extremely well on here for someone with autism, my two nephews have it one quite severely as has as yet, still not spoken.
it must be
are you actually autistic? because for us anything is not possible.
most of us can barely communicate verbally which is why we are so quite and shy it's not because we are shy it's because our brains refuse to work properly.
Maybe your NT brain is anticipating what the other person is going to say and already working out what your next line will be.
mine is not I can not read peoples faces, I can not determine what mood you are in unless it's blatantly obvious.
To me it's like everything is a monotone and maybe that's why so many of us speak like that (I don't think I do but I mumble a lot)
If you want to get a proper understanding of autistic people then head over to the wrong planet forums where people are honest..
even the rich autistic people with high paying jobs tend to have 0 friends and 0 social life so it's not about ambition and pushing your self.
There is pretty much 0 help for adults from the government we are just abandoned and expected to be able to cope in a world we don't feel we belong to
are you actually autistic? because for us anything is not possible.
most of us can barely communicate verbally which is why we are so quite and shy it's not because we are shy it's because our brains refuse to work properly.
Maybe your NT brain is anticipating what the other person is going to say and already working out what your next line will be.
mine is not I can not read peoples faces, I can not determine what mood you are in unless it's blatantly obvious.
To me it's like everything is a monotone and maybe that's why so many of us speak like that (I don't think I do but I mumble a lot)
If you want to get a proper understanding of autistic people then head over to the wrong planet forums where people are honest..
even the rich autistic people with high paying jobs tend to have 0 friends and 0 social life so it's not about ambition and pushing your self.
There is pretty much 0 help for adults from the government we are just abandoned and expected to be able to cope in a world we don't feel we belong to
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I can't imagine its possible for a child but when you recognise when you are limiting yourself you can start to develop ways to work around those situations - not sure if its possible for those with severe autism but its definitely possible for those moderately affected by it.
There is a huge difference between posting in your own time on a forum and trying to cope with social interaction on the spot.
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wrong thread? I take it you meant to post in the girl thread part 2
Yep, but changed mind
Even if your mum overcomes this, one day even if years from now she will unfortunately die as with all of us. It sucks and as a child you have never known your life without your parents but the fact is you cannot stop it. The more you try the worse your suffering.
I'm pretty sure your mum would be upset to know you would not be able to live a happy life without her. We all have times when depression kicks in and you feel trapped and cannot see another direction for your life but in these times the best thing you can do is embrace change. I know religion is laughed at on these boards but something I really advise you read about is the idea of "grasping" or "clinging" in Buddhism. Have a look for information on the "four noble truths". For me it was life changing...
I love your blog by the way and view it at least a couple of times per week in my lunch break at work, at this point you don't seem to be putting much value on your own life but this is a false view you have of yourself.
I'm pretty sure your mum would be upset to know you would not be able to live a happy life without her. We all have times when depression kicks in and you feel trapped and cannot see another direction for your life but in these times the best thing you can do is embrace change. I know religion is laughed at on these boards but something I really advise you read about is the idea of "grasping" or "clinging" in Buddhism. Have a look for information on the "four noble truths". For me it was life changing...
I love your blog by the way and view it at least a couple of times per week in my lunch break at work, at this point you don't seem to be putting much value on your own life but this is a false view you have of yourself.
Neil79.... You are a top bloke in my book and I'm so very sorry to hear that you and your Mum are going through this very difficult and scary time... my thoughts and prayers are with you both!
I can't offer anything more than that but for what its worth I hope it helps
I can't offer anything more than that but for what its worth I hope it helps
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Neil, I think that you might benefit from reading Eckhart Tolle. I suggest either The Power of Now, or A New Earth. These will help you understand yourself and how best to avoid some common mistakes.
My Mum had cancer but has recovered. My Sister and my Dad both have a serious genetic neurological disease. I have a 50% chance of having this too but am untested (choice).
The books mentioned have really helped me to understand my negative thought patterns, and control the racing thoughts (which are never helpful). In order to help heal others you will need to be in the right place inside, otherwise the negativity which often comes from our ego's will dominate your thinking and result in the opposite of healing. Breaking away from the normal default of worrying about the past and the future, to concentrate just on the very present moment, is a massive benefit for me. I don't need to stress about anything.
If you're short of cash I can post you one to read.
My Mum had cancer but has recovered. My Sister and my Dad both have a serious genetic neurological disease. I have a 50% chance of having this too but am untested (choice).
The books mentioned have really helped me to understand my negative thought patterns, and control the racing thoughts (which are never helpful). In order to help heal others you will need to be in the right place inside, otherwise the negativity which often comes from our ego's will dominate your thinking and result in the opposite of healing. Breaking away from the normal default of worrying about the past and the future, to concentrate just on the very present moment, is a massive benefit for me. I don't need to stress about anything.
If you're short of cash I can post you one to read.
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Don't be we all die at some point weather it's earlier or later in life. Prety deep I know but don't be scared.
Prety deep I know but don't be scared.
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I wish you, your mum and family all the best Neil. It's easy for all of us to say chin up and don't worry but life throws these obstacles at you at times and it appears your strength and courage is tested to the extreme .. there's always people you can talk to..
Good luck m8. BE STRONG for yourself and your mum.
My mum overcame Breast Cancer about 20yrs ago, and my dad was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer about 7 yrs ago, which they say only 5% live past 5 yrs.
I know it will be tough to overcome the worry, but worry is the most useless emotion we as humans possess. It achieves nothing, except extra worry.
She may very well overcome this. Try and stay positive. Go for walks, get sunshine, do some form of exercise. 30mins a day of cardio. Eat well, proteins, fresh veg and fruit. Take fish oil, if you do not eat fish. You must do everything possible to keep your neurotransmitters in your brain working and not allow yourself to fall into a depression over this.
Go out with your mum, take her places and make her feel loved and special.
You are in for a tough road ahead. But that is life unfortunately. We're all going to die, and we're all going to see our parents die off. BE STRONG for you and your mum.
Best of luck.
My mum overcame Breast Cancer about 20yrs ago, and my dad was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer about 7 yrs ago, which they say only 5% live past 5 yrs.
I know it will be tough to overcome the worry, but worry is the most useless emotion we as humans possess. It achieves nothing, except extra worry.
She may very well overcome this. Try and stay positive. Go for walks, get sunshine, do some form of exercise. 30mins a day of cardio. Eat well, proteins, fresh veg and fruit. Take fish oil, if you do not eat fish. You must do everything possible to keep your neurotransmitters in your brain working and not allow yourself to fall into a depression over this.
Go out with your mum, take her places and make her feel loved and special.
You are in for a tough road ahead. But that is life unfortunately. We're all going to die, and we're all going to see our parents die off. BE STRONG for you and your mum.
Best of luck.
Very sorry to hear of your worries and the trouble you're going through. Thought my father in law was going to be diagnosed with bowel cancer last week. It came as a huge relief that it was appendicitis, even though it will lay him low for a long time, at least it was operable. It was a worry for me but nothing compared to what my wife was going through. We're both pretty much internal processors and tend not to find it easy to discuss things until after events have passed. It can make things rather strained in the moment.
I'll pray for you and your mum.