Selfishness!

Arcade Fire said:
:/

I don't think that society in general (whatever that means) is getting much less polite - certainly not enough to notice over the course of 2-3 years. People just notice it more when they get older and grumpier. People almost always say thanks to me when I hold a door open for them.
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I don't think i'm a grumpy (can't disagree with the old bit though :p ). On the contrary, I think I'm quite chilled and layed back at times and because so, I'm more aware of what's going on around. If you take a step back from it all, you will see what I mean :)
 
Arcade Fire said:
So you admit that you deliberately avoid holding a door open for someone just because they might not say thank you? Does that not sound just the teensiest bit petty?
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No I don't deliberately do anything - because it's almost instinct in me now.

Petty - the same could be said about this thread, about people holding doors open for you... :/
 
basmic said:
Petty - the same could be said about this thread, about people holding doors open for you... :/
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The thread is about people being selfish / rude - holding the door is just one example. :)

But I do agree, manners seem to often be forgotten these days - giving up seats for old ladies, holding doors open, please and thank you's etc. Shame really :( People get annoyed at the rude and selfish people and become rude and selfish themselves sometimes which just adds to the problem too.
 
messiah khan said:
Agreed. If someone open a door in front of me, and didn't glance behind them and hold it open, I qould consider that rude in itself. It really doesn't take much effort a tall to hold a door open a few seconds, even if you don't get a thanks out of it.
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At the end of the day, I am not prepared to do free favours for people, and not get so much a thanks out of it.

It may seem selfish of me. But at the end of the day, it saves me stewing over ignorant people who can't say thanks, and it also saves me 10 seconds.
 
Kell_ee001 said:
The thread is about people being selfish / rude - holding the door is just one example. :)

But I do agree, manners seem to often be forgotten these days - giving up seats for old ladies, holding doors open, please and thank you's etc. Shame really :(
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Then I suppose not exposing myself to other people's rudeness is selfish, then.

At the end of the day, I don't care. If somebody can't open a door for themselves, they shouldn't be allowed on the streets.
 
The last time I got on a bus (a while back now) I got up to let this doddery old dear have my seat. She glared me right in the eye and said 'I'm not disabled you know, I don't NEED your seat'.

I felt a right idiot, although I understand she has her pride, I was just trying to be nice!

basmic said:
At the end of the day, I don't care. If somebody can't open a door for themselves, they shouldn't be allowed on the streets.
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Oh dear, best tell my poor old 90 year old gran to stay at home then. She has a bad shoulder after a fall last week and can't open push/pull doors. Best keep her off the streets.
 
kitten_caboodle said:
Oh dear, best tell my poor old 90 year old gran to stay at home then. She has a bad shoulder after a fall last week and can't open push/pull doors. Best keep her off the streets.
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You do that. She shouldn't expect people to put themselves out for her, especially for free.

If she's that bad, ask somebody to assist her - maybe even yourself. :eek:
 
Personally, I am polite to most, but when you are on the train and hundreds of people block your way onto the train, you have to use force, there is no other option.

And most people come into contact with strangers every day, they don't feel the need to say hello, thank you etc etc every single time, so don't expect it. Christ, we'd look a right load of stereotypical englishmen if every time someone opened a door we said "Well, thank you kindly Sir!" "Don't mention it, it was my pleasure to open this door for you!" "Well, I hope we meet again sometime, so that I might return the favour!"

The most you'll ever get is "cheers".
 
kitten_caboodle said:
Oh dear, best tell my poor old 90 year old gran to stay at home then. She has a bad shoulder after a fall last week and can't open push/pull doors. Best keep her off the streets.
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If she is too weak to open a door on her own then home sounds like the best place for her, yes.
 
dirtydog said:
If she is too weak to open a door on her own then home sounds like the best place for her, yes.
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she can do everything else. Walk, hold a basket, push a trolley, talk, say hello and visit her friends - she just can't open a heavy door. She's not weak at all. What if it was me with a broken arm? You wouldn't consider me weak would you? Seems a shame to force her to stay housebound because some people are too selfish to hold open a door, ironically because they think other people are too selfish.

basmic said:
You do that. She shouldn't expect people to put themselves out for her, especially for free.

If she's that bad, ask somebody to assist her - maybe even yourself. :eek:
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She doesn't. I do. And I do help her regularly. The fact is that just because some people reach 90 doesn't mean they lose their independance. A little tiny bit of compassion from people would help. Sadly, this country has no respect for the elderly anymore - so much so that instead of holding a door open for an old lady, so she can at least retain some feeling of independance, you'd rather she stayed at home. So sad.

Funniest thing is, she put herself out for free to help in the war effort, which inevitably allows people like you live the way you do now. Nice repayment.
 
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basmic said:
You do that. She shouldn't expect people to put themselves out for her, especially for free.

If she's that bad, ask somebody to assist her - maybe even yourself.
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In fairness mate, I dont think that is the point.

Holding a door open is hardly putting themselfs out.
 
kitten_caboodle said:
she can do everything else. Walk, hold a basket, push a trolley, talk, say hello and visit her friends - she just can't open a heavy door. She's not weak at all. What if it was me with a broken arm? You wouldn't consider me weak would you? Seems a shame to force her to stay housebound because some people are too selfish to hold open a door, ironically because they think other people are too selfish.
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What if there was nobody else around, what would she do then? If I needed someone else's help to perform a basic task when I went out, I would get a friend or family member to come with me, or stay at home. I would suggest that someone in such a state that they can't open a door unaided, should not be going out on their own especially at the age of 90.
 
kitten_caboodle said:
She doesn't. I do. And I do help her regularly. The fact is that just because some people reach 90 doesn't mean they lose their independance. A little tiny bit of compassion from people would help. Sadly, this country has no respect for the elderly anymore - so much so that instead of holding a door open for an old lady, so she can at least retain some feeling of independance, you'd rather she stayed at home. So sad.

Funniest thing is, she put herself out for free to help in the war effort, which inevitably allows people like you live the way you do now. Nice repayment.
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Truth be known, I'd probably hold it open for her if I noticed she was behind me. But most the time, I don't go through the door without looking backwards.

Now if she was in front of me, I probably would hold it for her. Luckily for society, I have compassion for the elderly - most of the time. ;)
 
woodsy2k said:
In fairness mate, I dont think that is the point.

Holding a door open is hardly putting themselfs out.
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Of course it is. If held the door open for you, I would be putting myself out by stopping for 5-10 seconds.
 
dirtydog said:
What if there was nobody else around, what would she do then? If I needed someone else's help to perform a basic task when I went out, I would get a friend or family member to come with me, or stay at home. I would suggest that someone in such a state that they can't open a door unaided, should not be going out on their own especially at the age of 90.
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I just said she has a bad shoulder after a fall. She has no other issues around her health that would cause her a problem going out on her own. She has the health and stability of someone a good 20 years younger and keeps fit and mobile. She has been independent for the last 60 years and doesn't intend to give that up. As for having no-one around, she lives in a village. If she couldn't open the door, the shopkeeper would open it for her. It's called compassion and customer service. I honestly can't believe the attitudes in this thread, most of you complaining about other people's 'selfishness'. Some of you should be ashamed of yourselves!
 
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