Seriously feeling Down in the Dumps!..

[Simian]

Sorry about this guys.. its not really a relationship thread.. but I need a bit of cheering up!..

About a month ago the wife (of 1 month short of 4 years marriage) turned round to me and said "Its not working!"... "I can't see where its going!".. "We've been arguing a lot!".. "I've had to put my life on hold to run yours!!"...

The last comment felt like she had kicked me in the nuts and kept kicking whilst laughing like a hyaena!..

Basically when we met.. I helped get her back on a steady financial footing (paid off a few of her debts), Got her to the Doctors and Dentist to sort out a few things she was suffering from.. and I helped her get a new job as the old one was killing her (see all the above other stuff I helped her with)... So I actually put my life on hold to run hers!!!.. not, as she said, the other way round!!..

I thought all the above was the definition of 'Marriage'!!.

I've sort of come to terms with it over the last month.. Its inevitable.. its no good trying to change her mind!.. We're trying to stay friends (well I am) and sorting it out amicably (selling the house, paying off debts... etc), and were going for the 2 year seperation deal!! (cheaper!!)

People have asked me if there's a 3rd party!... now until this morning I always replied...

"She goes out less than me, and I only go out twice a month, when she stays in!.. So unless she's either doing it then or at work!.. I don't think so!"

But this morning (well from last night) she's getting more distant, and then in the car this morning (yes I know I still drop her off at work!).. Her phone rang and she (turning her head away from me) answered and said "I'm in the car".. I heard a blokes voice and she hung up!...

From then I've not been feeling great!, I've got that 'Gut Rumbling' feeling of sickness and I've not as yet said anything to any of my co-workers today, I'm just keeping to my self in my corner!...

Do you recon I'm blowing this mornings phone call out of proportion.. or am I wrong about the 3rd party involvement!!...

I'm a 34 year ol bloke and I just want to cry!..

Cheers
Simon.

 

[Darkwave]

its not really a relationship thread..

It is.

 

[meghatronic]

I think it's time for a "we need to talk" moment.

Sit her down and explain the above to her.

 

[Lysander]

If she wanted to keep it that secret she wouldn't have answered the phone.

 

[peterattheboro]

Punch her in......

Ohh you know the rest.

Best thing you can do is go out with mates and have a good laugh.

 

[Megahurtz400]

Chin up man, i cant say i know how your feeling cause i dont, but get it all sorted and move on, dont let it drag you down any further!

Get it sorted, then hit the gym, get out with the lads and have a good time

 

[Wang Computer]

Got her to the Doctors and Dentist to sort out a few things she was suffering from..

Was she a stray?

 

[Hedge]

It seems that she has come to the conclusion that she wants it to finish, cant be easy for you mate.

I think you should seperate yourselves from eachother and see how it pans out.

 

[rick827]

omg... move out or kick her out. Dont be her ***** or she'll walk all over you

 

[[TR]SweetSpotOz]

.

 

[izoneiz]

Dude,

I know you're saying that a separation is/was already on the cards, but one thing I'm starting to learn is that asking questions is better than guessing.

If you two are still friends, and you know that stuff is coming to an end as it is, ask her. What's the worst that could happen?

 

[DampCat]

She wouldn't have answered the phone if she wanted to hide something from you.

Chin up mate. No point torturing yourself over it. Do the seperation and move on as swiftly as possible.

If it's ending anyway, who cares if there's a 3rd party? it wont do anything to you but make you feel worse, so dont pursue it.

 

[Ed]

I guess the danger is as people change, their perception of you changes too, and not always for the positive.

 

[m4cc45]

As the relationship has come to an end does it matter?

I'd certainly distance yourself from her. No lifts, nothing.



M.

 

[platypus]

That's! a! lot! of! exclamation! marks!

 

[LiE]

You're making this much harder on yourself by still doing things together. Sooner or later she will find someone else.

 

[Ben M]

Talk to her, not a web forum.

 

[zain]

Imo:

You've helped her loads
Shes met someone (probably with the new gained confidence)
Hes filled her head up and promised lies
She believes him over you
They are together now but keeping it from you

If you've agreed the seperation I would cease being friends, heck I would find strong evidence of her with him so the divorce could end quicker due to her being a cheating...so and so.

 

[J.T]

Sounds like she is playing the field of **** (is that word ok? if not sorry) to me mate.

What would get my back up is if she is using the "its not working" excuse even though its actually "I've met somone else"...

Chin up old boy.

 

[Simian]

I still Love Her!.. if she's got someone else (either already or in the near future), Its gonna be hard for me!..

..What's the two year separation deal?

Divorce only comes in 4 flavours:

1, Adultery - Speaks for its self!.. - VERY expensive (upto £15,000 each in some cases!).

2, Unreasonable Behaviour - Can't do 'Unreconcilable Differences' any more.. this is its replacement, its the easy way out - Not as Expensive (about £2-4K each!!).

3, 2 Year Separation - Note the Date of 'Separation' and 2 years down the line a Judge 'Rubber Stamps' the Papers - Quite Cheap (about £500 each).

4, 5 Year Desertion - Think 'Canoe Man' in the news recently!..