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My Top Tip.

Supermarkets are brilliant places to nab a Doris...

This is not such a bad tip either.

Lemme relate a little event that happened not to long ago.

I'm in Tesco, down one of the toiletry aisles. It's a hot, bright lovely summers day so I'm feeling kinda good and looking kinda glam. Not OTT but a fair amount of leg on show. I'm looking for something like deodorant, or nail polish or something equally boring when out of the corner of my eye I notice someone shuffling towards me, now it's not really busy down this aisle and there's plenty of room but this person seems to be getting closer and closer. I half turn to face them.

We all do the involuntary instant appraisal thing but my mind suddenly went into overdrive. Here is a youngish fellow, maybe early to mid twenties, with a daft half-grin on his face and a blush to his cheeks, with a pair of tights in his hand.

Okay dokey - there's three scenarios here:

1) I've been well and truly read. And he's one of us too, and is just about to embarrass us both. However a quick check for the usual signs tells me otherwise - nails are bitten and not looked after. He's wearing shorts and has hairy legs. He's built like a brick ****house and walks like one too. Probably not but stranger things have happened!

2) I've been well and truly read and he's a fetishist who's going to offer me money to wear these things for him. Again, outside chance but it has happened before.

3) Regardless whether I've been read or not - he's going to ask me out. Using some bumbling excuse of 'will these be ok for my girlfriend' line.

Cue him asking in a rather bumbling, cute way 'I don't know if these are the correct size for my girlfriend, she's built like you so I hope you don't mind me asking'

Bless him - he'd got the right size too.

Although, as it happened, his car was right next to mine in the car park and I made a point of asking if she always asked him to buy her hosiery from Tesco. He laughed and admitted it was just his way of striking up a conversation.

Fair play to him, I made it abundantly clear I wasn't interested in anything other than friendship and gave him my number. We went out a few times but he soon lost interest when he realised he wasn't getting anything other than a cup of coffee and a light lunch.

But that's by the by. The whole thing was quite disarming and just charming in its own little way.

So it can work :)
 
Taxi waiting rooms, drunk women who have failed to pull. A quick smile as they walk through the door and they'll soon stumble over for some of your chips. True story.
 
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Didn't quite go the way I expected it.

I was all ready for some of this:

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Excellent tip!

Nearly as good as the 'don't murder the lady' tip which has yet to be mentioned :p

****, i knew i was going wrong somewhere >.<

I'd say "just be yourself" but apparently women don't like me so i go with "just be 4t5".

I usually start by nicking the lead from their roofs.
 
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