"S Plates", for senile? "D Plates" for doddery? We got rid of the Diplomatic Corp "CD" plates, perhaps resurrect them as "Coffin Dodger" plates?
There's a very elderly gentleman that goes in one of the pubs in Whitchurch and I got chatting with him on a few occasions. He used to keep going outside for a few minutes, I wrongly assumed for a smoke. Seems, when I went out for one myself and he wasn't there, that he liked to go and check on his car. "Worried about vandals?" I asked. "No", he replied, "if I don't keep reminding myself where I have parked it after a couple of pints I can spend ages looking for it". Having no answer to that I just laughed