Should I split the bills by proportion?

[Wicksta]

We have more than one account so why would we be stuck without money?

We have 3 current accounts (1 joint), when my card got cloned and I needed cash it was nice to be able to transfer online and pop down to the local bank with my joint account card. If my joint account card got cloned/the account emptied out then it would cause all kinds of problems which is why it's good that we only use the joint account card for emergencies. There is next to no chance of it being cloned.

Use a chargecard or creditcard, then the individual price of the item is not known to your wife.

Why would I want to? I already have an account of my own. And surely going by your argument your wife should see what goes out on your credit card anyway? And also, how do you think I pay my credit card off? Oh that's right, it comes out of my bank account.

Why would that give you a better idea of you outgoings over having a joint account anyway. Surely you know what you bills are?

I know what they are but it makes it much easier having them all in a seperate account and not trying to dig things out amoungst paypal transactions, restaurant bills, nights out etc.

My wife is not strict, neither does she control what I spend. We simply share everything, that includes our joint income.

I would think the insecurity is not trusting your money in the hands of your partner, rather than having equal trust in each others ability to discuss and plan within a joint relationship in all things.

I'm not against it exactly, I simply don't really understand it.

So, there's not practical reason for doing it your way. I seem to remember you arguing about this before on another thread, there is some underlying psychological reason you feel so strongly about it. Control issues or something?

 

[Greebo]

£43k more than you?! you lucky man

Not sure about the lucky. Yes great that I don't need to support her financially like some of mates do with their other halves. Wasn;t so great to begin with as I needed to get over the fact that she will always be the higher bread winner in the relationship despite myself earning what I call decent money.

 

[Castiel]

In those circumstances I'd expect one of us to cover all the costs then split the remainder. I wouldn't want either of us thinking we couldn't spend anything because it wasn't our money!

We simply put everything into a joint account and pay the bills and living expenses from that account. We put a specific amount aside into another account for savings (jointly) and we also have another account that the wife stuffs money into for emergencies etc.

We also have the Trust for our son.

It all works fine, the wife budgets everything both annually and monthly and I simply spend it. I think I mentioned in another thread that she budgets me spending money on a whim as well (she knows me only too well).

If I buy things for the wife I charge it to my Amex card or CC, which negates her finding out before time or the cost unless she goes investigating (which having separate accounts wouldn't negate anyway)

I am currently serving out my notice period and will be entering full time education and the income drop that entails, because of the way in which our finances work this will have little impact on how we lead our lives or create any animosity over who is paying for what, basically because we are a family unit and as a family unit our finances are a part of that unit and not a part of the individuals that make up that unit.

 

[Scrutinize]

The same here, I will spend money like it is water to be honest, I have little or no value of money. My wife however has a great deal of nous when it comes to finances so she deals with that.

Each to their own, but I suspect that when kids and such come along it will begin to get very complicated for you.

Not going to quote all your posts but you do speak the truth.

It makes sense to have one joint ££ pot ££ when married and just agree to take some for personal spend / gifts / business expenses etc each month.

It does depend on what you earn and how your partner spends money though.

 

[Basher]

Why would I want to?

Cashback? Airmiles?

And also, how do you think I pay my credit card off? Oh that's right, it comes out of my ban

Not itemised though, is it? So how exactly is your partner going to tell if you bought a present/what it might be?

 

[RDM]

We have a joint account and individual accounts. We pay into the joint account an amount that covers bills, savings etc so that we both have the same amount of "spare" cash left over each. If we just had a joint account I would feel uncomfortable spending money that may leave her short.

 

[s0ck]

OP has not mentioned marriage or kids.

 

[Wicksta]

Not going to quote all your posts but you do speak the truth.

It makes sense to have one joint ££ pot ££ when married and just agree to take some for personal spend / gifts / business expenses etc each month.

Isn't that basically what having seperate accounts can be anyway? Our joint account is for our monthly outgoings (and a bit extra for savings) and our separate accounts are for personal spend / gifts / business expenses etc each month.

 

[Wicksta]

Not itemised though, is it? So how exactly is your partner going to tell if you bought a present/what it might be?

Because I don't use my credit card for much so she would see how much was spent. I'm sure if she was a controlling accountant wife she'd want to see a full itemised credit card bill as well.

 

[Basher]

Because I don't use my credit card for much so she would see how much was spent. I'm sure if she was a controlling accountant wife she'd want to see a full itemised credit card bill as well.

 

[bagsjoni]

I am a Christian and i know the role of a wife in marriage is to love the husband. And that of the husband is to take care of the wife i.e protect her, pay the Bill and cover all her expenses period. So man up and take care of all the bills.

 

[Castiel]

So, there's not practical reason for doing it your way. I seem to remember you arguing about this before on another thread, there is some underlying psychological reason you feel so strongly about it. Control issues or something?

There is no practical reason for doing it your way either, everything you do is equally practical under a joint finances system. Our joint current account is budgeted, we have other accounts, such as our savings account where the bulk of our money goes. We have no need to separate and split every expenditure we make either jointly or as individuals because the money is jointly available and jointly budgeted.

It is effectively a far more simple system than splitting all joint expenditure between two separate incomes.

I fail to see why sharing finances is automatically a control issue. It would seem to me to be the opposite and that you cannot let go of your control over your money and fully commit and trust the person to which you made a significant commitment.

Trying to imply that I am some kind of psychologically unstable person because I feel that a marriage should share the burden of everything as a single unit is disingenuous frankly.

 

[Morgoth]

I am a Christian and i know the role of a wife in marriage is to love the husband. And that of the husband is to take care of the wife i.e protect her, pay the Bill and cover all her expenses period. So man up and take care of all the bills.

Uhhh, that's not really how it works anymore.

 

[Basher]

I am a Christian and i know the role of a wife in marriage is to love the husband. And that of the husband is to take care of the wife i.e protect her, pay the Bill and cover all her expenses period. So man up and take care of all the bills.

Can't tell if you're serious ...

 

[Castiel]

Because I don't use my credit card for much so she would see how much was spent. I'm sure if she was a controlling accountant wife she'd want to see a full itemised credit card bill as well.

grow up.

My CC bill simply gets paid out of the joint account, all that is necessary is the amount it is for the family budget. What it is for is immaterial.

 

[duvet77]

We have a joint account and individual accounts. We pay into the joint account an amount that covers bills, savings etc so that we both have the same amount of "spare" cash left over each. If we just had a joint account I would feel uncomfortable spending money that may leave her short.

That's what we always saw as an issue. We didn't have lots of money by any means (much less now she isn't working), so we thought it better if we didn't have to worry about who had spent what each month. We could spend what we wanted, when we wanted on whatever we wanted as long as it came of our own account, with nonew of this 'you spent how much money on a gfx card'?!

Maybe this is more important when your finances are less secure, I dunno.

I don't think it it really reflects on the status of the marriage though. To imply that someones marriage is less sacred because of the way they manage finances is perhaps pushing it.

I think the most important thing is to find an arrangement that works with your personalities, lifestyle, finances, existing debts etc.

Something I also wonder for the 'one pot' people, hypothetically, does
your £3000 credit card debt become your wife's problem once you share all?

 

[Castiel]

I don't think it it really reflects on the status of the marriage though. To imply that someones marriage is less sacred because of the way they manage finances is perhaps pushing it.

Yeah, you are right, that is pushing it a little and wasn't really my intention. We are dealing with a friends issues at the moment regarding this so I may be a little clouded in my judgement by that.

Something I also wonder for the 'one pot' people, hypothetically, does
your £3000 credit card debt become your wife's problem once you share all?

Yeah it does. For richer and poorer and all that jazz......

 

[Jez]

There is no way i would wish to have completely combined finances with that of my partner. My parents and all friends are the same too, we all do it in the way wicksta has mentioned, that being totally separate finances except for an agreed joint bills account contribution each month which covers the joint aspects of life.

It is none of my partners business as to the intricacies of how my income is shaping up that month, how much items i buy cost, or what i choose to buy. Just as it is none of mine to watch over and monitor the things she spends money on.

We'd end up having huge rows the whole time. Random example; this week i will be spending £2-3k on some little upgrades for one of my cars, upgrades which she will deem a *total* waste of money. I simply will not mention them to her as its up to myself only to buy these things. This works both ways with the fact that she will on an almost daily basis purchase new bags, clothes, jewellery, whatever, items which i would deem a total waste.

If these purchases were out of joint funds we would be going nuts at each-other? I would be very uncomfortable seeing thousands every month being spend on handbags and clothes, just as she would be uncomfortable with me using a joint account to frivolously chuck hundreds if not thousands into cars and other hobbies every month.

Cannot see it at all Castiel. In an ideal world maybe but there is no way we could manage it. As it is we share everything which is shared, and then we both use our own surplus' which we have earnt individually for our own hobbies and priorities.

 

[Captain Chaos]

I earn more than my missus

As such I pay all the household bills etc

She pays for the weekly foodshop, car and mobile. I pay everything else lol.

We have seperate accounts. Its not that I dont trust her, I just dont want her finding out how much I spend on PC bits lol

 

[Morba]

In marriage why would you split it at all.

Surely the finances are jointly yours whoever earns what?

My wife and I have one income, ours.

This tbh. Our money goes into 1 joint bank account, we buy almost everything from that.