Should I split the bills by proportion?

Joint account, then both pay in to it.

I earn more than my wife, but we split all bills 50:50 using this method. Obviously, I will have extra money spare, so if something crops up I will deal with it.

Set up a standing order for x amount and then it's completely brainless too :)
 
Castiel said:
Hmmm, wait until one of you has no income due to children or other unforeseen circumstances.
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We work in the way you seem to disagree with and it still doesnt make any dfference. As said before we have a joint mortgage and savings account. I pay the mortgage and she pays the bills and food and whats left is our own.

I was made redundant early last year and although I had a reasonable redundancy package, if I ran out of money before I got my current job I would have just transferred money out of the savings. Its easy.

I really dont see what the issue is. I have been with my wife for 16 years now and money has never been an issue.
 
LiE said:
I'm with Castiel on this. I can't see it working too well having separate money if one earns much more than the other. I'd feel like a nob driving around in a flash car if all my wife could afford was a cheap banger.
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In my last job my wife was earning £54k more than me and it wasnt an issue, all that happened was when we went out she nearly always paid.
 
James J said:
Interesting way of doing things! My parents have around a 30% difference in their wages but just put both into their joint account and my mum then sorts out what should be paid from that, leaving my dad with none of the blame if something doesn't get paid if the money is there lol. Definitely the way I'll be doing it :P

To add, if he wants anything, he only has to ask and my mum will buy him it and my mum doesn't exactly spend spend spend at the best of times anyway.

Must be nice though to solely be able to survive on 1 person lower wage, whilst having the other persons entire wage as capital lol.
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Don't get me wrong we're not living in the lap of luxury on one set of wages, we have enough for mortgage/rent, bills, and about £300 fun money a month.

We're not always been like this, it's only a new thing as we have just spent the last 6/7 months clearing credit card debt and saving for a deposit on a house. It seemed the most sensible way to do it at the time.

We should be buying a house within the next month (waiting for paper work to go through) but it will be a small two bed house, but we won't want to live there for long, so will be keeping up the same structure to save for a larger deposit for a bigger house.
 
Castiel said:
That sounds horribly like charity to me. How would she feel about you just giving her money in that way.

Would it not be simpler to just share the finances and when she is able to earn simply add to those finances. What if she decides to become a full time mother?
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I struggle to see the difference to be honest. If you are the only one paying in to a joint account you are effectively giving her money anyway. I think all that really matters is you do what ever makes both of you comfortable be that single, joint or a mixture of both. It may well be that your method of doing things works well for you, that doesn't mean it is only the way of doing it and that it would work well for others.

I find it somewhat amusing/vaguely insulting that you seem to think that other methods makes for a lesser trusting marriage.
 
Bear said:
We work in the way you seem to disagree with and it still doesnt make any dfference. As said before we have a joint mortgage and savings account. I pay the mortgage and she pays the bills and food and whats left is our own.

I was made redundant early last year and although I had a reasonable redundancy package, if I ran out of money before I got my current job I would have just transferred money out of the savings. Its easy.

I really dont see what the issue is. I have been with my wife for 16 years now and money has never been an issue.
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I disagree with it per se, I don't particularly understand why you would need or want to keep everything separate when you are married.

As for your example that's great if you have savings, what happens when you have none, or run out? or like my friend have no option to earn your own money?
 
RDM said:
I struggle to see the difference to be honest. If you are the only one paying in to a joint account you are effectively giving her money anyway. I think all that really matters is you do what ever makes both of you comfortable be that single, joint or a mixture of both. It may well be that your method of doing things works well for you, that doesn't mean it is only the way of doing it and that it would work well for others.
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The difference is that ALL money is joint there is no distinction based on who earns it and who doesn't, not only what the earner decides they want to sacrifice to the marriage while keeping their own independent finances.

By keeping your income to yourself and then paying into a separate joint account enough to cover the bills/mortgage and a "little something" for the wife seems pretty insulting to the wife to me.

You may as well hire a "wife"......;)


RDM said:
I find it somewhat amusing/vaguely insulting that you seem to think that other methods makes for a lesser trusting marriage.
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And I'm not saying it is bad, only that I don't see why people feel the need to keep that level of independence in a fully committed marriage, no-one has been able to explain how keeping that independence doesn't imply a lesser commitment as yet.
 
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I think you need to stop equating your friends predicament which involves separate accounts with the situations described by posters here. That is a Strawman argument in essence.

No one here is saying starve your wife, just that they keep a joint account for joint expenditure (e.g. bills, rent and joint consumption) and a separate account for individual spending.
 
Castiel said:
I disagree with it per se, I don't particularly understand why you would need or want to keep everything separate when you are married.

As for your example that's great if you have savings, what happens when you have none, or run out? or like my friend have no option to earn your own money?
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It isnt a matter of want or need, thats just what we decided to do many years ago. The mortgage is ours as are the savings. What we have left for ourselves we do what we please with. My wife for example like to buy little and often, while I like to not spend anything then blow a large chunk on somthing. Neither of us feel guilty spending the money, nor do we have to ask or discuss about spending.

If we had no savings or it runs out (which is unlikely as I could live off them for several years) then we could live off her wages or her off mine. All that would be different is that there would be more admin at the back end instead of the front.
 
We dont split. What ever we earn goes in 1 account. Both of us have access to. Any shopping, food, bills etc goes from that.
 
Sukh said:
I think you need to stop equating your friends predicament which involves separate accounts with the situations described by posters here. That is a Strawman argument in essence.

No one here is saying starve your wife, just that they keep a joint account for joint expenditure (e.g. bills, rent and joint consumption) and a separate account for individual spending.
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And I don't see the point of having separate individual accounts and a "joint expenditure account" when you have made a commitment to share everything anyway.

It implies a "this is mine, that is yours" kind of mentality that, to me at least, would undermine the point of being married in the first place.
 
Castiel said:
And I'm not saying it is bad, only that I don't see why people feel the need to keep that level of independence in a fully committed marriage, no-one has been able to explain how keeping that independence doesn't imply a lesser commitment as yet.
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People have, it just that you dont buy it beacause of how you like to run things. Its just like I dont feel the need for plowing all our money together.

Having been together for 16 years and being closer now than we have ever been shows our commitment to each other. How we have chosen to structure our finances doesn't imply anything other than our preference.
 
Bear said:
It isnt a matter of want or need, thats just what we decided to do many years ago. The mortgage is ours as are the savings. What we have left for ourselves we do what we please with. My wife for example like to buy little and often, while I like to not spend anything then blow a large chunk on somthing. Neither of us feel guilty spending the money, nor do we have to ask or discuss about spending.

If we had no savings or it runs out (which is unlikely as I could live off them for several years) then we could live off her wages or her off mine. All that would be different is that there would be more admin at the back end instead of the front.
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Do you have children?

Would that make you re-evaluate your arrangement?

My wife and I have different spending habits, and while we would discuss large purchases like cars, there is no requirement to ask permission. We are adults after all.

I'm not denigrating how people organise their finances, I just don't get why people would keep a fundamental part of their life separate when committing to marriage. Like [FNG]magnolia said, it is an alien concept to me.
 
Castiel said:
And I don't see the point of having separate individual accounts and a "joint expenditure account" when you have made a commitment to share everything anyway.

It implies a "this is mine, that is yours" kind of mentality that, to me at least, would undermine the point of being married in the first place.
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Im sure you love wearing her underwear as you dont like the "this is mine, that is yours kind of mentality" ;)
 
Bear said:
Im sure you love wearing her underwear as you dont like the "this is mine, that is yours kind of mentality" ;)
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It wouldn't matter who wore what as everything is jointly owned, who uses it doesn't matter. It's a family unit kind of concept.....:p


I wonder what percentage of divorcees had separate or fully integrated finances and what, if any, part that played in their eventual breakup?
 
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Can you see how if one person spent £3k on car parts to just mod in a month, and the other person only spent £1k it could cause an issue at some point?

I also disagree with how you keep linking shared finances to having a better marriage, I don't see how having a finance structure in place makes you commitment any different?
 
Castiel said:
Do you have children?

Would that make you re-evaluate your arrangement?

My wife and I have different spending habits, and while we would discuss large purchases like cars, there is no requirement to ask permission. We are adults after all.

I'm not denigrating how people organise their finances, I just don't get why people would keep a fundamental part of their life separate when committing to marriage. Like [FNG]magnolia said, it is an alien concept to me.
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No we dont have children, we decided way back that we didn't want to have any.
 
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