This morning we lost our ever so brave boy Garfield. He had been in and out of the litter tray all night but couldn't manage a poo. I woke up at 04.30 to hear him moving the litter from one end of the tray to the other again but he still couldn't manage one. This is not unusual for him which is why he was put on Lactulose to try to make his poo's less solid and it was working up until now. I went and checked on him and he seemed ok apart from not managing to poo. I was going to phone the vets when they opened to see if they could prescribe something else to help him. At 06.50 he was badly sick and again a couple of minutes later. He then went back to the litter tray and again couldn't manage one. He got out of the litter tray and lay down on his side next to it with his back legs tucked up against him and his back end started to spasm. He was breathing heavily and his little heart was beating like mad so I phoned the vets out of hours service and they told me to get to the vets just up the road for 07.30. Got up there and told her what was wrong and she took him in to examine him. I had to wait outside due to covid. I knew what was coming as I had a very bad feeling when I first saw him this morning. She came back out and said that his heart rate is through the roof, he's lost another 300g since 2nd November bringing him down to 3.2kg, she could feel a nodule on his liver and she tested his pee and found that it was just water so going in one end and straight out the other. He was very poorly and getting worse all the time so knowing that he has terminal kidney disease and that he was unlikely to come back from this I made the impossible decision to let him go. The last thing I wanted was to let him suffer just because I loved him so much so it was the right time to say goodbye. I had already given him a load of cuddles before we left home as I suspected this would be the outcome. I couldn't go into the vets to be with him due to covid but she said she could administer the sedative and bring him out to the carpark so I could hold him. That is no way to let him go so I said do it inside but please be gentle with him. I was already in pieces so I wouldn't have been any use to him anyway. She said she would stay with him and stroke him to the end. He is going to be cremated and I will have his ashes back in a little slate urn.
I always knew that this would eventually be the outcome but it doesn't make it any easier. My cats are my babies and I love them all very much but Garfield took things a step further. He was by far the most affectionate cat I have ever known and was always on my lap or on the bed with us. He would always rub his cheek against mine as if to give me a hug, he was just so adorable. People will say he's just a cat but I don't see it that way. My cats are like family to me and they are deeply in my heart, Garfield especially so because of the way he was so affectionate to me. I am going to miss him so very much and it's not going to be the same without him around. The house is so quiet. Jade is very quiet and sleeping on her sheepskin rug bed downstairs. Abby was out for a little while but came in and went around the house looking for him then went upstairs on our bed where Garfield normally is at this time and started crying softly so I went up and gave her a big cuddle and she cuddled into me with my arm around her and went to sleep. God, it hurts so much, I am heartbroken. Here is the newest photo I have of my gorgeous boy Garfield, may he be at rest.
