So you've just become PM, what's on the menu?

Diddums

Diddums

Diddums

Caporegime
Joined
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Evening fellow dissidents residents of GD, I am bored and enjoying a nice cold beer, so I thought let's have a chat about hypotheticals.

In this evening's make-believe scenario, you've just become the prime minister of this fine establishment, and you have the authority to make three changes to the country, no questions asked.

So what do you do?

ONE RULE: YOU CAN NOT REVERSE BREXIT. IT HAS HAPPENED AND NOTHING YOU CAN DO WILL CHANGE THAT (this is just to prevent this turning in to the usual Brexit moaning thread)

For me:

  • Full audit of Crossrail, explanations to where every single penny went
  • Home buyers have to live in their property for two years before it's eligible for rent
  • Get rid of that affable mentally-challenged Sadiq Khan and his ULEZ and find better ways to achieve the goals
Bonus: Make Rachel Riley the country's maffs lady and my personal assistant. I have awfull heavy pens and pencils after all.

Go!
 
I have people in a certain town named basildon (down in south, essex) that I don't like (old school work/troubles)

I shall declare war on basildon and nuke it


its the only way to be sure :cool:



(i Know its not 3 things I would change but I don't care)
 
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1. change the voting system to proportional representation
2. call a general election because I'm not rly qualified to be PM, and me randomly becoming PM isn't democracy.

other stuff I would like to do if elected in the above election:
- merge income tax and national insurance + create a single rate of income tax (no more punitive brackets + bracket creep)
- bin off the tv license
- cancel hs2
- net zero immigration policy until public services can serve the population + leave the ECHR
- start building some new cities to house all the people who are going to be displaced by sea level rise
- require proof of ID for social media, set minimum age at 18.
- massive sugar tax (similar to cigs)
- carbon tax
- reduce national debt (require budget surplus)
- nationalise: water, energy, public transport
- scrap stamp duty on primary residence
- legalise euthanasia
 
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Rent Caps so I can dictate the market price of monthly rent

Online election voting so young people are more active participants in the direction of the country.

Free public transport

Ggwp
 
Tax the rich.
Actually level up some of the **** holes in this country.
Get a 482 style working visa in place with decent benefits.
 
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jaybee said:
Stop all benefits. All of them. - Extreme Right wing
Make strikes illegal. - Right wing
Tax the rich much harder. - Left wing
Fix the roads. - Central
Ban owning more than 1 home. - Left wing
Click to expand...

Lol a bit all over there with those views :D

@platinum87 No government can function without borrowing thought and much like jaybee going extreme right on abolishing all welfare. Death penalty is fairly right wing too and is riddled with issues.
 
can we change the constitution so that I can become prime minister for life?

im liquidating the royal family

and then im making sure anyone who thinks driving a car with a massive loud exaust (especially at night) a crimal offensive punishable by 1000 hours unpaid labour ... and then jail

My god I can see myself becoming some demented tyrant
 
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Change the measurement system to metric for everything no exceptions.

Expand HS2 to cover the entire country. also increase the top speed of the trains and the line. The current iteration is too slow for my liking.

Increase speed limits on the motorway. 200kph should do it. If people die, they die.

Set the cameras on smart motorways to only catch the knobs that drive in lanes that have been closed.

Increase manufacturing in the country. I would spread this out all over so the whole country can benefit.

Remove inheritance tax. You earned it, is yours, you can give it to your kids. Tough **** to all the jealous people.

Invest heavily in our space program. Maybe build a launch pad in the UK. Might be difficult being soo far from the equator.

Open up stronger trade links with African nations. If we can build up those nations it would hopefully stabilise them and reduce the amount of illegal immigration.

Encourage investment into huge roller coasters and theme parks to compete with the USA and Japan.

Reform the NHS. Probably look into mimicking the Singaporean system (I think it was them that are doing well)
 
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Spannerhead said:
can we change the constitution so that I can become prime minister for life?

My god I can see myself becoming some demented tyrant
Click to expand...
Hold fire PM! Can we at least have our Bank Holiday first before you unleash Hell!


As a Royalist, I will be hanging out the bunting (but will quickly withdraw if Spanner becomes PM).
 
Diddums said:
Evening fellow dissidents residents of GD, I am bored and enjoying a nice cold beer, so I thought let's have a chat about hypotheticals.

In this evening's make-believe scenario, you've just become the prime minister of this fine establishment, and you have the authority to make three changes to the country, no questions asked.

So what do you do?

ONE RULE: YOU CAN NOT REVERSE BREXIT. IT HAS HAPPENED AND NOTHING YOU CAN DO WILL CHANGE THAT (this is just to prevent this turning in to the usual Brexit moaning thread)

For me:

  • Full audit of Crossrail, explanations to where every single penny went
  • Home buyers have to live in their property for two years before it's eligible for rent
  • Get rid of that affable mentally-challenged Sadiq Khan and his ULEZ and find better ways to achieve the goals
Bonus: Make Rachel Riley the country's maffs lady and my personal assistant. I have awfull heavy pens and pencils after all.

Go!
Click to expand...
interesting choices
If we're going audit at step one, then investigate PPE and track and trace, chase every penny, full criminal and jailtime for those involved in the pilfering of taxpayers money in what was 'wartime'.
Start with that, build gallows. Sort them out.
Get the money back, either directly, or thru inheritance tax.
 
Zenduri said:
Lol a bit all over there with those views :D

@platinum87 No government can function without borrowing thought and much like jaybee going extreme right on abolishing all welfare. Death penalty is fairly right wing too and is riddled with issues.
Click to expand...

If you can function without borrowing, then so can the government, though it would need to be gradual. Especially rolling over debt at lower % interest etc.

The amount spent on welfare will easily cover this, but will take years of course, before things will start to improve.

I dont believe in the death penalty, i believe in the mandatory death penalty, if you are convicted of rape, then you die 100% of the time.

If you oppose that, then when you are in the jury you vote not guilty and they wont get convicted of rape and they will be free to go.
 
1. change the voting system to proportional representation
2. change council tax to a land value tax, 0.5% of the property/land value per year on first properties, 1.0% on 2nd properties, 1.5% on third etc (no avoidance schemes, LTD wrappers etc, everyone pays it, regardless)
3. decriminalise drugs and provide them via the NHS so people that need help, can get it (see portugal)
 
On the menu you ask?

How about a **** sandwich because that's what we've been forced to eat the past 13 years.

Edit - I thought you were inviting the existing PM to dinner, my comment might make more sense now!
 
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