Son got first job, fair rate for board

[spoffle]

I take it your not 10 so you are fully aware that food has increase in price a lot over the past 5 years? As me and you get older and we still live at home we tend to eat more, bring round our pals and raid the fridge and the cupboards for food, then we buy a PC and spend hours and hours sitting on it, it may of been easier for me to understand as my parents didn't have sky or dial up internet as it was at the time, broadband was too new so my parents simply said if I wanted it I would have to buy it myself which I thought was fair, I didnt pay a lot maybe £100 a month but I paid my sky bill and my phone bill.

Food going up in price over time isn't the same as constantly increasing bills. It also depends on where you shop and how you shop. If you shop irresponsibly, then maybe so, if you don't then no the cost isn't going up much at all.

You also seem to be twisting things from "Pay up or get out is selfish" to "you're making them pay for everything for you". You're making stuff up that no one has said, then arguing against that and suggesting people have said that. Pack it in.

 

[Goberpiles316]

Anything parents would pay for they would, I wanted faster broadband so I paid the extra. Mobile phones now so that's not an issue, kid pays for that. Sky would depend on the setup. If they've always had it then parents, if you decide you want it then you pay.

This is massively different from just paying a random sum for bed and bored and you know it. So stop trying to twist your twisted logic.

It isn't like that at all, everyone who was saying they should not be charged made it sound as if they should contribute towards nothing, and parents who made the choice to have children should then finance them until they decided to move out, their a vast difference between those people who stay at home and help and those who just sit and do nothing, leaving poor old mum to carry on working full time, making the dinner and doing all the washing and ironing and running around after them like they are still a baby.

I wont be charging mine for board but if they start making demands about what food and drink to buy they can buy it themselves.

 

[Glaucus]

No one said that, you are arguing with yourself again.

If you think everyone who said they wouldn't and themselfs didn't get charged, did nothing at all. You are very much mistaken,
If that happens more than likely comes back to poor parenting, kids can go off the rails. But people who do nothing generally have been spoilt. I was taught how to cook from a fpvery young age, baking is a great way to get kids in the kitchen very young and can grow. By gcse, us kids would be cooking the maim meal several times a week.

 

[Caseh]

My parents never asked me for any board/rent, but they are going through a rough couple of years money wise, so I help out. I come home with around £1250, and give them £500.

 

[Tefal]

Would be interesting to know exactly how many of you with such high opinions of what you will do actually have kids and have left home yet, maybe some of us are a little more old fashioned as we are from a different generation, when you wanted to help support your parents and not just take, take and take some more.

you mean the generation that left the current one with so much debt they'll be paying for you for the rest of their lives as will thier children?

 

[Rroff]

When you say pay nothing are you meaning completely zero you will not give your parents a penny? What happens with the below situations which were the ones I experienced when I was a young adult.

So when your parents have Sky tv downstairs and you want multi room in your room who should pay the monthly fee you or your parents? When the phone bill arrives and £40 a month is because your on the phone all the time who pays the bill? Who pays for the broadband you or your parents?

Personally I have a view that is in the middle and might seem a bit contradictory. I just don't get that when children reach 18 you basically go "right time to make your own way, bye". If your going to bring a kid into this world you should own the responsibility to provide the basics indefinitely at the same time I don't think children should be sponging off their parents indefinitely if they can afford to pay for it and should definitely be covering the cost of consumption of luxury items, etc.

 

[pepsilol]

In my experience it's usually the lower class/poorer/unsuccessful families that keen up this old tradition in the UK.

By the looks of it this is very true.

 

[Jez]

Get real will you, when kids are still at home at 18,19,20,21,22+ they are not kids any more they are adults and need to either leave the nest or contribute, not everyone is loaded and can finance 3+ people forever.

Isnt this the crux of this argument? Your financial situation is dictating your view as opposed to your ideals. Earlier in the thread i expressed that i will never charge a penny for my son, and will support him in moving out after he graduates.

 

[Gilly]

I was paying a huge amount more than that and it smashed apart the relationship with my parents, for a short time at least.

Due to that I'll always err on the lower side. If you don't need the money charge £100 and put a 6 month review in place.

 

[teulk]

I believe kids or young adults that earn and still live at home should contribute to the house hold. I don't believe it teaches them to budget or the value of money - that only comes when they have real bills to pay etc, i.e. if they decided to spend all their money on crap they then face being homeless as no money left for rent or mortage, they will go hungry as no money for food either. Then again it will probably be at this point they realise they were better off at home paying £150 board

 

[garyfl]

I also don't believe this culture of it would cost you a hell of a lot more to do it on your own, true, but it doesn't now so why make it harder for me, also, especially when families don't get on, its crap because, you got someone paying a huge chunk and not getting no independence, or ownership of anything at all.

 

[teulk]

I also don't believe this culture of it would cost you a hell of a lot more to do it on your own, true, but it doesn't now so why make it harder for me, also, especially when families don't get on, its crap because, you got someone paying a huge chunk and not getting no independence, or ownership of anything at all.

True but if anything paying board gets them used to paying money out and getting no enjoyment out if it i.e. just like paying gas / electricity bills, water bills etc when they eventually move out. As i have already said though i think they should contribute and after all why not if they are earning.
The point is though not take to so much they can't have fun with their new found wealth.

 

[RoboCod]

I also don't believe this culture of it would cost you a hell of a lot more to do it on your own, true, but it doesn't now so why make it harder for me, also, especially when families don't get on, its crap because, you got someone paying a huge chunk and not getting no independence, or ownership of anything at all.

Such entitlement attitude. Work for it leech!

 

[spoffle]

Such entitlement attitude. Work for it leech!

It doesn't look like an entitlement attitude at all, it looks like resentment for some parents who are happy to take a significant amount of money from you (if they don't need help, that's a different matter) which just makes saving up to move out, unnecessarily more difficult. It seems to be quite myopic in some circumstances.

As I said above, if the parents need help it's a different matter, but no one has suggested that they resent helping their parents out financially, it's the entitlement attitudes from some people in this thread that are suggesting that kids are indebted to their parents just because they give birth to them, which is quite a selfish attitude to have for a parent.

 

[chief barker]

How about a small token amount say 10% of £1200 take home as a little thank you for everything?

It's not too much to ask and that little bit goes towards something nice for the parents like a meal out?

 

[Freefaller]

Amazed that this thread has expanded to 5 pages of discussion!

For what it's worth OP I think your rate of around £150 seems fair.

I paid my parents about £250 to cover food/electricity when I was living with them but this was London, and I eat a lot!

However, I did end up doing my own washing, and was very careful with electricity.

It'll help him realise how good he's had it when he finally moves out from home.

It's a good way to help him learn to manage his money too.

I think it's a good thing to do.

 

[del_piero]

As I am the eldest son in a South Asian family, I shall be expected to look after my parents when they are old, retired, and no longer able to provide for themselves. Ergo, I have not paid (nor have I been expected to pay) a single penny of board since returning home from uni 5 years ago.

 

[IronWarrior]

Personally I always felt this was wrong to charge family members for living together.

I was born in a sort of successful family with everyone doing well for themselves, we all help out each other if we need it, there is no terms or conditions, rules or any of that sort of stuff.

That said, I think £150 out of what £1200/£1250 you said is pretty fair to put towards the house expenses like bills, but I wouldn't call that rent or anything, it's just a necessary and clearly he can afford that but I wouldn't force him too pay that, it should be their choice and if they don't... well that speaks about their character and your up-bringing up of them.

 

[kaptainmarc]

charge him rent, put as much too one side as you can for when he wants to buy a house.

as from experience and a lot of my friends buying houses, getting a deposit together seems near on impossible at this age whilst renting unless you are on a healthy salary.

 

[Andrew_McP]

Every family's financial circumstances are different, but there should be no doubt whatsoever that a huge part of 'growing up' is taking financial responsibility for yourself, whether you live at home or independently.

I'd believe I'd failed as a parent if a child didn't voluntarily offer to pay towards their upkeep after school leaving age. It would imply they had no sense of value or fairness. And I'd also be failing as a parent if I took all they offered and spent it... unless, of course, the family was struggling.