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** Speaking from experience!!! **

never ever try and force that last little fart out
always keep your eye on the nail your about to hammer
never put your fingers in hot wax
 
Never get so drunk at your Work's Christmas party that you leave the main group and get completely lost. Then the Traffic Police - when they find you doddering over a bridge in Glasgow, confused and bevvied up to the eyeballs - pull you over, thinking they've stopped you topping yourself because "Christmas can be an emotional time for everyone. Is everything okay ... you know, at home?" Me : "I'm not even that drun ... *collapses*

Whoopsies :(
 
never change a dirty oily rear cassette in the sitting room over that nice new rug :/ - literally learned that 10 minutes ago - luckily some washing up liquid seems to have removed it ....phew
 
maybe? ;)


No, I was going to a meet a few years back and i was dressing up as Edna Everage. I bought some second hand ladies clothes from a charity shop.. On the friday before leaving i tried them on, then realised the time.. I could get the thing off so I just put a jumper over the the top and waited in the car.

#finds picture#

Come on lol :p

Bump, more people need to contribute
 
1)Drink pond water for 50p.
2)Attempt to play guitar with a stuffed bird.
3)Get so drunk that you can't find your way out of the club you're in.
4)Leave your window open when you're getting dressed.
5)Go dropping the kids off at the pool when there's no toilet roll.
 
1. Get off with a fat girl for a bet. Even if you win, you lose. (I wasn't the one who got with a fat girl, btw :p)
2. Take photos of dodgey things with your phone. They do not disappear when you are showing a different photo to someone.
3. Pour RED wine on someone. It goes everywhere. Red stains.
4. Tell someone something you never EVER want to get out without getting something equally bad out of them first.
5. Let a girl with recently dyed hair sleep on your bed. It transfers. My wall and pillow have blue on them permanently...
 
1. Do not forget to wear your scrum-cap during a rugby game = ear almost being ripped off.

Happened today!

2. Dont get drunk and steal a fishing reel and tie it around a car :(
 
1. Not seperate frozen hotdogs before microwaving becase you can't be bothered to wash another utensil
2. Type anything medical related into google image search, ever
3. fail to wear safety equiptment when using power tools because it looks stupid/is uncomfortable
4. Turn the volume way up on something when it isn't working properly then find the problem and forget about the volume
5. Hit your fingernail with the end of a drumstick while playing
 
Don't set off fireworks horizontally on a road, infront of a police car, launching towards a junction with some gangsta' cars.

*Wasn't me! But i was there. Was comedy! :p*
 
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