Early to Mid 20's, not a lady, some of them have grandkids that are my age which puts things into perspective
Talking at work
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Early to Mid 20's, not a lady, some of them have grandkids that are my age which puts things into perspective
Soldato
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NVM
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Soldato
Yes, that does put it into perspective. Whilst I don't want to belittle your issue, I think the thread could be more interesting if we had a go at guessing your occupation.
Do you work in a bingo Hall?
Associate
I am an introvert. I don't do the social thing at work. No lunches, no after works drinks, no xmas parties, or leaving parties. I don't have leaving parties when I move jobs. I interact when and if I need to and have a couple of mates who I either commute to / from work with or work with closely who kind of get me. I wear a "mask" at work which allows me to get through the day-to-day interactions but this can be exhausting. (read: Introvert hangover)
Only once has the no-social thing caused an issue. The team I work with collectively gets asked to lunch a few times a week. I politely turn down the offer but sometimes, when I am feeling under pressure, I will agree but simply either not turn up or disappear before hand but always with the excuse that X meeting or Y meeting over-ran etc. Most people just accept that I don't get involved but one guy just kept pushing, asking why I didn't want to join in and getting rather upset about it too. In the end I just told him that I don't do the social thing and to stop taking it personally. Since then he's called me grumpy to everyone and to me.
Also One of my co-workers is very loud. Always talking, always has an opinion. the complete opposite to me. He asks me sometimes why I always wear headphones.....
Only once has the no-social thing caused an issue. The team I work with collectively gets asked to lunch a few times a week. I politely turn down the offer but sometimes, when I am feeling under pressure, I will agree but simply either not turn up or disappear before hand but always with the excuse that X meeting or Y meeting over-ran etc. Most people just accept that I don't get involved but one guy just kept pushing, asking why I didn't want to join in and getting rather upset about it too. In the end I just told him that I don't do the social thing and to stop taking it personally. Since then he's called me grumpy to everyone and to me.
Also One of my co-workers is very loud. Always talking, always has an opinion. the complete opposite to me. He asks me sometimes why I always wear headphones.....
Not quite, think more along the lines of a medical bingo hall
I tend to keep work and social life separate for the most part. In the organisation I currently work for, of about 50 people, I would only consider 5 or 6 of them people I get along well enough that I text outside of work or will hang out with.
Though, I worked at IKEA for a few years after leaving college and made life long friends there. I'd consider those guys my best friends and I see them more or less a few times a week and the weekends.
I'm not what I'd call a social butterfly but I find I have to get along with people in work. Makes the day go quicker and the job easier. I actually think IT courses should teach soft skills as the amount of awkward people in the field is astonishing. I actually think everyone should be made to do retail work - horrible stuff but it gives you social skills.
Though, I worked at IKEA for a few years after leaving college and made life long friends there. I'd consider those guys my best friends and I see them more or less a few times a week and the weekends.
I'm not what I'd call a social butterfly but I find I have to get along with people in work. Makes the day go quicker and the job easier. I actually think IT courses should teach soft skills as the amount of awkward people in the field is astonishing. I actually think everyone should be made to do retail work - horrible stuff but it gives you social skills.
Soldato
- Joined
- 11 Sep 2013
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NVM
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Also One of my co-workers is very loud. Always talking, always has an opinion. the complete opposite to me. He asks me sometimes why I always wear headphones.....
Headphones are a godsend. I get the grumpy thing too when I really don't want to get involved. They've stopped asking if I want to do this or that. Lately, the company have had this genius idea where we all have to go bowling on an arranged night out - they even give us a day off so we can't not turn up. I went once (well, I had to) and it was excruciating. Last time I was fortunate enough to be in Spain at the time. I love my job and I like quite a few of the people who work there - I just don't want to socialize with them.
Oh don't get me wrong, I'd never go back to retail. I was working part time Monday, Friday and Saturday. By Tuesday I was dreading going to work on the Friday.
I grew a lot of hatred for Joe Public when I had to sit down and design a kitchen for 2 hours with them pretending to care what they said. But it made me into a great actor!
i'd have been in heaven in an office of middle aged women in my early 20s
divorcees ladys not getting loved at home, or hubbys that have lost interest.
take it either way, either your going to be molested and love it or they'll mother you to death win win either way.
divorcees ladys not getting loved at home, or hubbys that have lost interest.
take it either way, either your going to be molested and love it or they'll mother you to death win win either way.
Pretty much every job I've had has been great in that respect. Many colleagues have become close friends and almost extended family in some cases. Still in touch with guys I used to work with yonks ago and my current job has been great in forging what will probably be lifelong friendships.
Man of Honour
I've grown to like most of my colleagues throughout the entire company (6 sites). The age range varies greatly from 19 to late 50s and all of them are quite unique. Been here 6.5 years though and have grown to know them quite well. I think it's great and in a way important to have a work family of sorts.
Caporegime
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Caporegime
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- 21 Jun 2006
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that is a terrible way to do things.
people who bring their full selves to work are generally happier and more productive and therefore creates a more inclusive environment which is better for everyone.
as in if you were in the closet and you like to keep your personal life seperate it's likely your colleagues could be putting their foot in it without realising, etc. like oh sandra down there is a nice girl why don't you go talk to her. but since personal is personal you won't disclose you prefer james over there.
Associate
oh and I forgot to mention.. i totally don't to departmental meetings! especially 2 hour long ones where the CIO tries out his latest stand-up routine...
This is exactly what I'm trying to avoid but I do feel like I might come across like this sometimes "that's a nice haircut did you do it yourself"
Caporegime
Pretty sure Bale was playing an autist in that film, so don’t try too hard.
The ability to socialise effectively requires you being vulnerable enough to open up to others, obviously for people who have autism then it’s going to be rather difficult.
For most people who struggle though it’s just down to putting up a wall or a different persona at work as some kind of defence mechanism against any judgement. Then people either think you’re arrogant or learn not to engage with you as they don’t get anything back.
@ttaskmaster is right that much of it is from childhood experiences, if your verbal communication was consistently shunned then you sort of fall into the pattern of not initiating conversation.