The ex, identity theft and fraud.

[Hitman_Leon]

Left my ex after various things like being cheated on; 18k taken from my bank, her drug abuse, physical violence and other general garbage.

This morning was a snow day as I live in a little village so my plan was to kick back a little and maybe catch up on some work.

Postman made it though the snow and left me a gift; thought it was my usual credit card statement which I never open until I saw the back, the return address said Vanquis on it. Never had a card from them; opened the letter and and there was was my gift from the postman, £1300 bill for a card ive never had.

Phoned up their card fraud line and explained the situation, CS guy passed it to fraud team saying I will get a statement to sign to verify I believe im a victim of fraud.

Checked with Equifax and saw that the card had been set-up at my previous address after I moved out. Checked the rest of my credit information, to my surprise I also have credit accounts with two catalogues and a mobile phone contract about to go into default. All these have been acquired at my previous address where my ex still lives.

The mobile phone contract is an interesting one; it was set-up in November and must be for an expensive phone because for 3 months billing its at £204. I phoned O2 and explained, also asked wtf someone had done to get a contract for another phone at my previous address when I already have a contract with them that I have had for years and is at my current address. They know this; I have letters and statements from them to my current address but they still allowed a new contract to be initiated at my previous address.

So far ive called the police who are passing on to the fraud team; contacted both O2 (who have blocked the phone) and passed the details to their fraud team and contacted Vanquis. I cant get an answer from the catalogue companies but I expect I will be landed with big bills from them as my oldest son told me earlier in the week before this happened his mum keeps getting parcels from catalogues all the time. In the past two weeks she has had a PS3 and a Galaxy tab amongst other things come from a catalogue so even though I know she is broke it now makes sense.

Has anyone had to deal with anything like this; I have been reading around and it seems these things hardly ever go to court leaving the victim with the bill, im absolutely fuming and I don't know how this will turn out.

 

[Hitman_Leon]

I don't understand

Obviously.

If this go's pear shaped any more than it has already the first debt collector that knocks on my door will wish they had never taken the job.

I will never pay any of this; that low life sack of junkie garbage already took everything she could from me and recently even went so far as to sell my youngest daughters, laptop, DS, ipod touch, tablet computer and mobile phone along with the wii I bought for all the kids.

I'm just not in the mood for this; I am way past angry, I am honest to a fault personally, can't lie, I even try to tell an insignificant white lie and I burst out laughing, if I ever slip up and make a mistake I just can't even cover for myself never mind lie on the scale of my ex, I hate thieves and dishonesty with a passion.

 

[Hitman_Leon]

Do they have your signature, they need to prove it was you, when the items on the card were purchased were you somewhere else, to prove that you could not be in 2 places at once.

This is one thing im hoping for in the evidence side of things, the bank won't give me any details because its been passed to the fraud team but I know I can place myself with proof of location for most of my time.

 

[Hitman_Leon]

She didn't start out that way and we had some good years and 4 kids, then she lost the plot started cheating and started with drugs (amphetamine). Had she been like that when I met her I would have not been with her past the first date.

 

[Hitman_Leon]

I have to ask, if she is this way, why does she still have custody of the children? Have you not thought about involving social services and them coming to live with you?

Not having a pop, just asking for the sake of the kids

That's an ongoing process; when I was initially moving out various agencies including the police wanted me to have the kids. As I have muscular dystrophy I asked what support the social services would give me and they declined to help. I just wanted a little support until the youngest got older as it's difficult at certain times like early on a morning. When I get up I have to put on carbon fibre splints both legs because I cant walk without them as im paralysed below the knee both legs and this takes time as my hands are also partially paralysed. Even with the splints on I can't keep up with the youngest and I just wanted a little help until I could get everything organised so I had all eventualities covered.

The social services declined as they said their first priority was to get the ex back on track with the kids in the home with her. My oldest daughter moved out with me and now my oldest son is soon to follow as he is constantly in conflict with his mum over her habits and they way she treats him and his younger siblings. I do eventually want all of them with me regardless of what help the social services offer because since I left ive had many offers of help with the youngest from family and friends.

WOW, ok practical advice time, firstly i will explain that i work for the leading credit reference agency in europe and there are a number of things you should do.

1- bare in mind that just because you have checked your credit report via equifax, this does not mean you have seen all the credit profile information available. Lenders have different contracts with different agencies.
To make sure you are not missing anything i'd advise you to register with 2 others CallCredit & Experian/CreditExpert. This will help you make sure that there isn't any other information out there you are unaware of.

2- Once you have registered with the above agencies (including Equifax) i'd advise you to contact each of them and request to put a NOC password on your credit profile (notice of correction password), this password would need providing for every credit application made in the future within your credit profile and help prevent any further damage.

3- CIFAS - go to there website, read up and register too, they will help you with advice and guidance in having this fraudulent activity stopped and resolved.

4- You have already contacted the police, i'd advise to contact your existing bank/companies that you have agreements with (if you have not already) also contact any companies you have seen on your credit reports and start the investigations process.

5- I know its hard, but be positive, The credit reference agencies are there to help you, they will have fraud depts and advisers who will be able to advise and assist you, Credit ref agancies can also help get your credit profile corrected if fraud is prooven.

Hope this helps, need any advice, just trust msg me

Richard

Thanks for that, if I have any questions I drop you a message.

You should be able to get this sorted and stop it happening again as you can prove that you have not lived their by other records. It is also good that you have reported it to the Police, as 02 will back off immediately.

As for the cards and catalogues, these may be a bit harder but you need to give them the crime reference number and Police officers details as soon as possible.

Ask 02, as you have an existing relationship with them, to add you to the CIFAS register as a victim of fraud, at your old address. This will stop any further credit being taken out in your name without further checks being made. This will make it harder for you to take out credit as further checks will have to be made every time, but it will not stop you getting it.

Best of luck, sounds awful.

Thanks for that too, and thanks to everyone else for the various bits of advice.

An inspector (she is the head of the neighbourhood police team by all accounts) of all people called this morning to take a statement from me. She was obviously the right person for the job as she told me she has had this done to her in the past. She did go so far as to ask me if im available to look after my children if she locks up my ex so she seems to have quite a fire under her about this sort of thing. The same team have also dealt with thefts and shenanigans by my ex before. She dose have a history of stealing from me and violence toward me from when I lived with her, this may prove her undoing should this go to court.

 

[Hitman_Leon]

[Snip]

No; you see the thing is I really can box, trained in a pit gym from being young, growing up with muscular dystrophy attracts the bully type so I made sure they went away with suitably deflated ego's. Have to train like a man possessed to fight this muscular dystrophy I have so apart from the muscular dystrophy im probably fitter than a lot of people in my age range.

Anyway the point I was making is that my logic and reason combined with sarcasm and the fact that I am not going to be bullied by anyone would leave a debt collector wishing they did not have the misfortune to call on me.

 

[Hitman_Leon]

Hitman? More like Manup.

Man up and do what exactly?, physical violence because she told me herself she wanted to have me arrested for something to prevent me being a teacher. Believe me I have wished she were male or me female for just five minutes many times so I could have given her the hiding of her life. I don't hit women so retaliation was out of the question.

18k from a bank when you have no reason not to trust someone who you have been in a relationship for over 12 years with and nothing to my knowledge had gone wrong at that point.

 

[Hitman_Leon]

Interestingly enough. I got a card application from Vanquis this morning.

All my details were pre-filled (printed) and the form just required 2 signatures, my DOB and then sending back to them.

I find it appalling that they sent the form out like this. It's little wonder your ex managed to get a card from them in your name. Presumably the same happened. They sent you a pre-filled form to your ex's address and she signed it.

That's what I was thinking, half thought marketing making things easier for any fraudster.

 

[Hitman_Leon]

The officer dealing with it after I gave a statement rang me just after 10pm on the 30th when she came on shift. She was very apologetic about how long it had taken so far and the lateness of the call. She had an email back from the head of the economic crime unit who had taken a look at my statement, he had taken the decision that there is enough evidence for an arrest.

The officer herself seems very pleased, as I said before she had this kind of thing done to her. Some other information turned up this week which I also gave her. I had a letter from the CC company and they detailed the use of the card, she withdrew £690 cash and spent the rest all in shops she go's to often. The first withdrawals are at a cash point just down the road from her house, the first spending also in her local shop. She hit the limit of the card in a day and a half.

I found out she has a catalogue in her first name and my surname as well as the two she took out in my name. Still don't know how much in total she has had in my name as some of the companies are a little tight lipped with the details but at least it's moving somewhere.

 

[Hitman_Leon]

The head of the economic crime unit also gave the officer who is dealing with my situation this web address to pass on to me, someone else on here might find it useful.

Action-Fraud

 

[Hitman_Leon]

Possibly next week for the arrest as the officer go's off duty until next Tuesday then she will be calling to see me for copies of the transactions from the card to add to the evidence she has so far. There is also the question of timing, I need to be available to collect my youngest children so they don't see their mum get arrested. The officer will hopefully give me the heads up so I can arrange to get them before the police go for the arrest. She is taking time but all with the best intention of getting things done right, the economic crime unit were the best people to have this referred to. As time has passed lots more evidence is turning up also to be added to the case, seems as though the ex has been up quite a lot and not just in my name. If im really lucky when she gets arrested there will be her and her junkie friends all strung out getting high with drugs in hand when the police call. That would be quite a scene; whenever I have the kids all her junkie friends turn up at her house and that's what they do, would love to be a fly on the wall if that was the case when the police go there.

 

[Hitman_Leon]

Hope you they let you know so you can get the kids. Whatever their mum has done, they don't deserve to see that. Fingers crossed the social workers will now offer you some more support so you can have them too.

Hope the brick walls grow ears is all I can say about the social services, they don't seem to listen to a thing I say. The police have been much more understanding with the situation as regards the children.

Are social services aware of her drug abuse?

They ignored me forever saying I was making things up because she told them she kicked me out for cheating and making up stories that she took drugs and all the other things she did. That charade fell on it's face when she went to pieces and confessed all she had been doing to everyone a couple of weeks after I left. They still don't do anything though, she tells them she's off the drugs now but any fool who sees her can see it's all an act. Her pupils are like black holes and she has no colour in her eyes, she stands there rocking back and forth in a daze. I just wish she would bang her stupid head and snap out of it for the sake of the kids.

To those who keep mentioning the 18k; it's not important to me as I can make it back, when someone has been with someone a certain length of time and never had a reason to hide bank cards and such this can happen. As for not noticing it had gone out of my bank, I never used the account in question for anything so didn't check it.

What is of major importance is my children, this little crime spree of hers might just tip the balance and get social services to listen and act in the interests of the children.

Of secondary importance is me not having to pay for what that idiot has done in my name.

 

[Hitman_Leon]

Disregard women, acquire currency?

Disregard thread add no useful input.

 

[Hitman_Leon]

She was arrested at 10am this morning; the police failed to give me the heads up to pick up my children and my two sons were there. I had them picked up quick as I could because I was unable to get there myself at such short notice. They did not want me picking the children up before they got there because she might have thought something was happening. Me taking a day off and having them on a different day might have set alarm bells off in her mind and she could have got rid of evidence.

They searched the house and found what the PC handling things said was a lot of evidence. This was documents and other things relating to the frauds she has been part of. A social worker called at the house while the police were searching and checked the house to pick some things up for the kids. When she came to see me she told me she dose not want the kids going back to that house until my ex makes a lots of progress, if ever.

I was called at 10-30pm by the police; she had been processed and interviewed, she has admitted the offences she did in my name and will be appearing in magistrates court on the 14th of February (see the irony! valentines court date for them ex).

 

[Hitman_Leon]

The two youngest are still with me with no future date even being considered by social services for them to even have an overnight visit with their mum.

The court date changed from the 14th of February to the 18th; she appeared at magistrates and pleaded guilty, she was sentenced to a 12 month conditional discharge. She passed the urine drug test taken late the night she was arrested so further testing by the police was cancelled by the court (she had been told she would be arrested if she gave positive tests to the police).

This all gave her an ego trip thinking she had gotten away with everything and would have the kids back right-away. The way she saw it was she had been more or less found innocent, she did of course forget she had broken down at a meeting with social workers and admitted everything to them.

She has to go to turning point and submit regular blood tests to check for drug use, so far she has failed. She was told by social services to stop associating with certain individuals and having them at the house, this too she has failed at. She continues to lie to the social workers and they now check everything she tells them which combined with everything else just makes her case for the children useless.

Kids are doing fantastic; my youngest daughter age 9 has improved beyond expectation in school and attitude. My youngest son is doing fantastic; he's been hard work and will not be separated from me for a minute but he's doing great.

At at a meeting with social workers I was praised for how well the kids are doing, apparently they have not seen two children do so well in such a short time. My retort was "I'm just being a dad, why did you not let me do this earlier?" they changed the subject........

It's not easy with the kids being upset still over their mum but it's getting there, ive dropped all work and other commitments over the past weeks to just spend time with them. Just looking to get childcare arranged for the youngest and ease him into it so I can get back into my routine.

02 seemed fantastic about the fraud case, they actually text me the day after the ex's court date and said thanks for informing them and all action against me would now cease.

Vanquis; what a set of scum-bags, even after being sent a letter I was sent by the court showing my ex admitted to the fraud they still pursue me for the money. I repeatedly phone them and write to them and they take no notice, ombudsman time I think.

 

[Hitman_Leon]

Had a meeting with social workers and other agencies today; school nurse, school attendance enforcement officer, health visitor, head of year for my oldest son, drug councillor from turning point (there because the ex has to receive drugs testing and counselling from them) and chaired by a family support worker from the social services.

I was there with my oldest daughter who wanted to see how things were going on and the ex was there to put her side of recent events to the participants. The ex immediately tried to paint the "oppressed woman picture" and was roundly shot down by all the staff including her drugs councillor. Seems she takes every opportunity to try and make me look bad. Thankfully none of it washes with the interested parties any-more.

She actually tried to make me look like I was victimising her because I would not pay her travel costs so she can visit the children. It was only at the weekend I found out she had sold my youngest sons bike that I bought him; it was still like new, one of those with the handle on the back so you can push and steer the bike. It was one of his favourite toys; due to the Cars theme, he loved the bike and had been asking me to get it from his mums so he could go out on it with me. I dropped the kids off so they could spend some time on mothers day with her and find out she sold his bike. I can't even describe the words that come to mind in the family forum for what I think of her for selling one of a 3yo's favourite toys, her own son, grrrrrrrrr.

Anyway I was roundly praised for being a decent dad "don't get that one, thought it was just what you do when you have kids". There is still no future date for the kids to have even overnight visits with their mum and I just carry on being a dad like I wanted to before but those idiots from all the agencies who now seem to love me would not allow me to.

 

[Hitman_Leon]

Because of the kids and the fact that her being addicted to and using drugs upsets them the best outcome I could hope for is that she at least becomes a clean and drug free person. That is regardless of where the children live, they need a mum and dad. As for residence its not an issue at the moment as she has no choice in where the children live due to child protection issues.

 

[Hitman_Leon]

Damn Vanquis, another statement and details of them passing the account to a debt recovery agency, I'm spitting fire now. Called up the recovery agency and told them the same as I told Vanquis, they said they would get back to Vanquis and see what was going on.

 

[Hitman_Leon]

A world of this. Interested to know if you got the dosh back!

Never will; couldn't care less the children come first, it was a major annoyance but im past it.

 

[Hitman_Leon]

Long overdue update, so busy with being a single dad I never get around to sitting down and typing.

At a meeting with social services at the end of May the ex signed parental responsibility over to me for my youngest daughter, she now has no right to just take her. Now with my youngest daughter and my youngest son if the ex tries to take them child protection and the police will fall on her like a hammer.

On Tuesday my oldest son 13 was removed from his mum by child protection and placed in my care. He had refused to come and stay with me because his mum let him do what ever he wanted. The previous weekend he lost the last two possessions he valued. His we-the-people bmx was stolen even though he locked it in the house before he went out, his mum loaned it to one of her 'friends' and it was never returned. the day after the same 'friend' of his mum's smashed his phone. He was brought to me by the police for his own safety because of his mums shenanigans.

He now sees past his mums garbage and im trying my best to get him straightened out with his schooling which had suffered due to his home life at his mums house.

The ex carries on with her downward spiral; missing drugs testing and counselling sessions. Associating with miscreants and generally being a waste of air. After my son was taken from her on Tuesday she was forced to give up her housing association house for and encyclopaedia of reasons. The police have been regular visitors to her and only two weeks ago I had received a call from social services to inform me that my two youngest children were now prohibited for their own safety from being allowed to be taken to their mums house (they were previously allowed to visit during day time). The issues cited were obvious heavy drug use (I always knew this but these social service idiots never listened); 2 missing teenagers being found at the address and various criminal and antisocial complaints being made against her.

My youngest two are doing great, my 3 yo son has just started private nursery 3 days a week and has his place secured to start nursery properly in September. My daughter just had the best 10th birthday I could giver her and had a wonderful time (despite her mum not even giving her a card!-to save her feelings I put mum and dad on everything including the card I got her, she did actually see through that gesture but said she thought more of me for it), she is making strides of progress in her schooling now she has a stable home.

Vanquis finally accepted that the debt for the card was not mine but the still have not taken it from my credit record.

I'm worn out; having muscular dystrophy and being a single dad is not picnic but im trying my hardest.