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Think I'm appreciated!
And thanks for all the positive comments too.
And thanks for all the positive comments too.
The ex, identity theft and fraud.
- Thread starter Hitman_Leon
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Thought I Would give this an update.
Still a long haul ahead but the kids are improving no end. Youngest started nursery in September and I'm looking forward to seeing him in the nursery nativity at the church on Friday. He was hit hard and it's going to take time but he's come out of his shell and he's coming on leaps and bounds. He is still quite reserved but like the older one's it's insecurity from what happened when he lived with his mum. Waking on a night and finding your alone in the house except for your siblings or even as happened at one point waking and walking out into the street alone to be found by a neighbour is going to take a long time to get over.
My oldest boy is lined up for a transfer to another school, another town to get him away from all the trouble his mum caused. He's an intelligent lad with a good shot at getting good grades, I did want to move him earlier in the year but did not want to force it on him as he has had so much forced on him recently. I waited and then the time was right, I did not even have to ask him if he would go with moving schools, he asked me. Says he wants to just get away from the bad memories in his previous school which is hard with kids who know his mum reminding him constantly.
Oldest daughter got very good AS results and started to apply to universities, she's not been affected like the younger 3 but it's hard to be a mum and dad to her, she totally point blank even refuses to talk to her mum. We are best of friends though and I'm so proud of her, three offers from universities in less than a week, she will do well.
Youngest daughter is doing great, her school work had started to suffer when she was with her mum. Since she has been with me her results just keep getting better.
The ex just continues on a downward spiral, a couple of weeks back she nearly got a pine over-coat for her trouble. She had been drinking with some guy she met and they had a tiff, he threw her out and she collapsed. A woman walking her dog at 1-15am found her passed out at the side of the road and called an ambulance. Lucky for her as she had to be revived twice in the ambulance on the way to hospital. I found out about this because there was a meeting with social workers and a friend of mine who is in the police was also present the next day.
The ex had gotten her mum to phone and say she could not attend the meeting because she had a water infection, the police officer already had the information from the police who attended the hospital when she had been picked up in the street so the water infection lie was shot down pretty quickly. The other reason there was a police officer at the meeting was to inform the ex that she would not be allowed to see the children until she stopped seeing the guy who she had been seeing, the same one who had thrown her out in the street in the condition the night before. The genius had been seeing someone not allowed near children and also someone who had no regard for anyone demonstrated by the way he kicked her out in the state she was in.
The only fear I have from the ex now is that I may have to explain to my kids one day she has died, don't know how I will get through that one if it comes up.
I do most weeks have my youngest asking me if is mum is in heaven yet because she so seldom sees them. It is regularly four and five weeks before she sees them and its not easy getting through it. It is however becoming easier over time, the youngest will ask and then shrug his shoulders and change the subject for the most part. I have three very nervous younger children, scared of being left alone for even a minute. That includes my oldest son who is a strapping lad, 14 at the beginning of October and just nudging the 6ft mark atm. One night just last week I moved a bottle in the kitchen, put it down on one of the sides with a little bump. He came racing downstairs and into the kitchen looking like he had seen a ghost. I asked him what was wrong, he told me plain and simple, he was scared I had gone out and the bang he had heard was the door.
With Christmas just around the corner I'm getting things together to give them all a really nice time. They had a lousy one last year, got up at their mum's to nothing in the way of anything festive and the first taste of Christmas they got was late afternoon when they came to me. This year I am doing my very best to give them a day to remember.
It's not easy being a single dad and the muscular dystrophy makes a lot of things so much more complicated but I think I have it nailed and I'll just keep going.
Still a long haul ahead but the kids are improving no end. Youngest started nursery in September and I'm looking forward to seeing him in the nursery nativity at the church on Friday. He was hit hard and it's going to take time but he's come out of his shell and he's coming on leaps and bounds. He is still quite reserved but like the older one's it's insecurity from what happened when he lived with his mum. Waking on a night and finding your alone in the house except for your siblings or even as happened at one point waking and walking out into the street alone to be found by a neighbour is going to take a long time to get over.
My oldest boy is lined up for a transfer to another school, another town to get him away from all the trouble his mum caused. He's an intelligent lad with a good shot at getting good grades, I did want to move him earlier in the year but did not want to force it on him as he has had so much forced on him recently. I waited and then the time was right, I did not even have to ask him if he would go with moving schools, he asked me. Says he wants to just get away from the bad memories in his previous school which is hard with kids who know his mum reminding him constantly.
Oldest daughter got very good AS results and started to apply to universities, she's not been affected like the younger 3 but it's hard to be a mum and dad to her, she totally point blank even refuses to talk to her mum. We are best of friends though and I'm so proud of her, three offers from universities in less than a week, she will do well.
Youngest daughter is doing great, her school work had started to suffer when she was with her mum. Since she has been with me her results just keep getting better.
The ex just continues on a downward spiral, a couple of weeks back she nearly got a pine over-coat for her trouble. She had been drinking with some guy she met and they had a tiff, he threw her out and she collapsed. A woman walking her dog at 1-15am found her passed out at the side of the road and called an ambulance. Lucky for her as she had to be revived twice in the ambulance on the way to hospital. I found out about this because there was a meeting with social workers and a friend of mine who is in the police was also present the next day.
The ex had gotten her mum to phone and say she could not attend the meeting because she had a water infection, the police officer already had the information from the police who attended the hospital when she had been picked up in the street so the water infection lie was shot down pretty quickly. The other reason there was a police officer at the meeting was to inform the ex that she would not be allowed to see the children until she stopped seeing the guy who she had been seeing, the same one who had thrown her out in the street in the condition the night before. The genius had been seeing someone not allowed near children and also someone who had no regard for anyone demonstrated by the way he kicked her out in the state she was in.
The only fear I have from the ex now is that I may have to explain to my kids one day she has died, don't know how I will get through that one if it comes up.
I do most weeks have my youngest asking me if is mum is in heaven yet because she so seldom sees them. It is regularly four and five weeks before she sees them and its not easy getting through it. It is however becoming easier over time, the youngest will ask and then shrug his shoulders and change the subject for the most part. I have three very nervous younger children, scared of being left alone for even a minute. That includes my oldest son who is a strapping lad, 14 at the beginning of October and just nudging the 6ft mark atm. One night just last week I moved a bottle in the kitchen, put it down on one of the sides with a little bump. He came racing downstairs and into the kitchen looking like he had seen a ghost. I asked him what was wrong, he told me plain and simple, he was scared I had gone out and the bang he had heard was the door.
With Christmas just around the corner I'm getting things together to give them all a really nice time. They had a lousy one last year, got up at their mum's to nothing in the way of anything festive and the first taste of Christmas they got was late afternoon when they came to me. This year I am doing my very best to give them a day to remember.
It's not easy being a single dad and the muscular dystrophy makes a lot of things so much more complicated but I think I have it nailed and I'll just keep going.
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I don't have full custody but was told not to initiate proceedings by the social services. They said it would be a waste of money and I should instead wait for the ex to initiate proceedings as then the child protection legal department would pick up the case and the ex will lose. I was told once the legal department back you in court and there are documented child protection issues the opposing party will not get custody. I don't fully trust this standpoint but it gives me time to better prepare for any case and finance a good solicitor in the long run to give me the greatest success in any case that comes up.
If the ex were to take one of the children in the mean time a child protection order would be issued and the ex would be in dire straits. She is not allowed to collect the children from school or any other place without me being present. The only contact she has with them is for all intents fully supervised, her mum is allowed by me to have the children and has responsibility for them when they go to her house. The ex no-longer has a house and lives with her mum so that is the only time the ex gets to spend with the children. Under the care of her mum who has her lid screwed on pretty tight where the kids are concerned. It is rather seldom that they do this however as the ex is hardly at her mums, constantly out getting wasted.
The ex tried a pretty low trick yesterday; when talking on the phone to my youngest daughter she told her to ask me if she could stay Christmas eve so she could spend Christmas morning with them. My reply was absolutely not; when my daughter told her she said to my daughter "that's just daddy not wanting you to have a good Christmas". I simply explained to my daughter that it's not possible and we talked for a while until she was comfortable that it was for the best. Also explained to her that her mum would be allowed to visit Christmas day at any time she chose so she would still see her and I would not stop her coming. All I ask when she arrives is that she is sober and functioning, polite and with her mum. As she is not allowed in my house normally she has to come with a 3rd party (her mum) and she will be under the watchful eye of my cctv system. This will stop any lies being told by her and so cover my back from any kind of accusations, she made so many before I will not leave myself open to that kind of manipulation of a situation again.
I am humbled by all the comments; I am after all just being a dad, doing what I wanted to do all along. I feel the social services system is biased against males or has been in my case. They simply would not listen to anything I told them for so long, I do know they have to make their own enquiries but it seems half hearted and so slow. On the other hand I have seen cases where the complainant was female and there was very little happening compared to my case but the children were removed from their dad in a matter of days.
Christmas will be good this year, I will make it so!
If the ex were to take one of the children in the mean time a child protection order would be issued and the ex would be in dire straits. She is not allowed to collect the children from school or any other place without me being present. The only contact she has with them is for all intents fully supervised, her mum is allowed by me to have the children and has responsibility for them when they go to her house. The ex no-longer has a house and lives with her mum so that is the only time the ex gets to spend with the children. Under the care of her mum who has her lid screwed on pretty tight where the kids are concerned. It is rather seldom that they do this however as the ex is hardly at her mums, constantly out getting wasted.
The ex tried a pretty low trick yesterday; when talking on the phone to my youngest daughter she told her to ask me if she could stay Christmas eve so she could spend Christmas morning with them. My reply was absolutely not; when my daughter told her she said to my daughter "that's just daddy not wanting you to have a good Christmas". I simply explained to my daughter that it's not possible and we talked for a while until she was comfortable that it was for the best. Also explained to her that her mum would be allowed to visit Christmas day at any time she chose so she would still see her and I would not stop her coming. All I ask when she arrives is that she is sober and functioning, polite and with her mum. As she is not allowed in my house normally she has to come with a 3rd party (her mum) and she will be under the watchful eye of my cctv system. This will stop any lies being told by her and so cover my back from any kind of accusations, she made so many before I will not leave myself open to that kind of manipulation of a situation again.
I am humbled by all the comments; I am after all just being a dad, doing what I wanted to do all along. I feel the social services system is biased against males or has been in my case. They simply would not listen to anything I told them for so long, I do know they have to make their own enquiries but it seems half hearted and so slow. On the other hand I have seen cases where the complainant was female and there was very little happening compared to my case but the children were removed from their dad in a matter of days.
Christmas will be good this year, I will make it so!
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Speechless........... I really don't know what to say, you guys, i'm speechless..
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I hope you can all forgive my total dumbstruck speechlessness; I also have dirt in my eyes, must be from the high winds we had. All of you; your words of encouragement in the beginning and throughout most of this year have been phenomenal. My sounding board and in return from you all an encouragement to keep fighting to do the right thing.
To you all who have offered words of encouragement; advice and consolation, to the staff of OCUK, 5UB for his background arrangements and every member of this forum, my heartfelt thanks. You have been here for me and now you are there for my children too, you will put some great smiles on their faces and help them have an extra special Christmas.
To you all who have offered words of encouragement; advice and consolation, to the staff of OCUK, 5UB for his background arrangements and every member of this forum, my heartfelt thanks. You have been here for me and now you are there for my children too, you will put some great smiles on their faces and help them have an extra special Christmas.
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Does anyone personally know Leon other than through these very forums?
I've already trusted 5UB to get the donation address and I want to make a donation but I'm always the pessimist you see..
Why? you may ask
His profile niggles me slightly.
Occupation
Social engineering specialist
I put that in occupation a long time ago; just seemed something to put in there at the time as I had just finished a course and was between jobs
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Don't worry Leon, when you post a pic of the massive haul of pressies for the kids, that'll get rid of any doubts.
It will be done, but you can never please everyone.
I'm still stunned by all this, such generosity I don't even know what to say.
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I'm really sorry for being so quiet; I have no idea what to say, such a generous gesture for my children.
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Last week I posted the update as I thought it was well past time that I gave everyone who had been following this offering advice or praise some idea of what the past few months had been like. At that point it had around 16k views and was my sounding board if like, a place to catch a pat on the back for well done or be given a little advice. I like that; advice is good, this has been a different experience for me and advice is always good. A complement go’s a long way too; I have a lot of doubts, worries, am I being a good enough dad tops this list.
Some things take me so long; the little things a lots of you take for granted you can do in good time can take me an age. It’s good that I’m up for a challenge and I don’t give up, as I said previously it’s not easy being a single dad by any measure and I do have my own unique circumstances. It has been a tough year but I have fought through that and intend to follow this to the finish making next year so much better than the struggle that was 2013.
On Friday last week 5UB told me to keep an eye on my thread at 7pm; I did just that, I was not prepared for what he posted. And now through the week it has just snowballed beyond anything anyone expected, especially me. So much goodwill and generosity in both praise and contributions; it’s hard to take in such magnitude.
Castiel; your son is a credit to you I expect you had a very proud moment, he and his friends showing such thoughtfulness shows there are many great parents out there. My eldest son also 14 was running for a bus to meet his friends a couple of weeks ago and saw an old gentlemen trip, his dogs ran away as he fell. My son forgot about why he was running and went to help the old guy up; after he checked he was ok he then went and brought his two dogs back, that was my recent proud moment as a father.
5UB; I don’t think you expected this, it’s almost taken on a life of it’s own, but it is down to you and the generosity and thoughtfulness of those who joined you. The shop and the community around it that is OverClockers; the vendors and reps, so many individuals joining together to make this happen. You all have my deepest heartfelt thanks; this is a thanks that I cannot begin to put into words so forgive me if I stumble a little.
Someone asked if I was a gamer; I am that, an avid gamer, just this last year I have not had much time to play. Having children so nervous that they think you are going to leave them if you change your shirt does not leave much time for games. They are making progress though and given time the things that they were scared of will leave them and they will learn to trust that I will never leave them or let them down.
This first Christmas with just me is a big part of that progress, my youngest daughter worries so much that she is going to wake on Christmas morning to absolutely nothing. It hurts to hear her say that. Last year on Christmas eve I phoned their mum and asked her if she had gifts for them; offering to bring what I had got and even go so far as to change the labels so the kids would think the presents were from mum and dad. All I got from her was abuse along the lines of how could I forget my own blood, laced with many insults and profanity. I could not get hold of anyone until lunch time Christmas day and then I learned the truth, they did not have one thing to open that morning. My eldest son has told me many times how his mum said to him she forgot it was Christmas. That was a heart-breaking day, when they got to me they had been crying most of the day. I rounded that day off the best way I could and by the finish of things I had them smiling and enjoying themselves.
This year I promised myself I would give them a Christmas they deserve and as of this week that plan has now tuned into a Christmas they could not imagine. This is being made possible by each and every one of you; your support, kind words, praise and efforts. You are helping me heal my children’s bad memories and every gesture you have shown will put a smile on their faces. They will know that I did not do this alone; they will know that other people have helped this happen. They will have an amazing Christmas and you all helped make it happen.
As for me; don’t worry FreeFaller I will not shy away from the forums and more than ever I want to do what I planned a couple of years ago. I was going to attend the London Bridge meeting but could not as I was still living with the ex at that point and her behaviour was so bad I could not attend in the end. I do remember that I mentioned back then I always had problems with doormen turning me away thinking I was drunk when I was still stone cold sober because of the way I walk. Your reply was I would have no problems with doormen while I was with you. I will get to one of these meets and shake many a hand, share a lot of hugs and manhugs.
The PC that seems to be quickly taking shape on my behalf was a huge shock also; I am still trying to take this and everything else in, and the additional items that have been so generously contributed.
Overclockers UK - Nexus 7, OcUK Mug and XXL Mousepad (may include Haribo)!
-VK-, AMD - AMD Radeon 290X Graphics Card!
Giga-Man - Gigabyte - Gigabyte Z87-SLI Motherboard!
Ace Modder, Antec - PSU (To be confirmed which model when Lee is back from his holidays)
Simms and Kingston - Kingston 120GB SSD!
Corsair_Baz, Corsair - Corsair 16GB of Vengeance Pro DDR3, Corsair K70 mechanical keyboard, Corsair M65 mouse and a Corsair Venegance 1500 v2 headset!
Iiyama-Iiyama e2773 27" Monitor
Maundie for the Hdd
Metalface Mark - Wholesale Heaters - Veito CH1800RE “should thaw me out pretty well”
The Shadow “mystery gift”
To each and every one of you my kindest regards and heartfelt thanks; if I have missed anyone off I do apologise, I had no idea what to put, this whole thing is overwhelming.
Hitman_Leon
Some things take me so long; the little things a lots of you take for granted you can do in good time can take me an age. It’s good that I’m up for a challenge and I don’t give up, as I said previously it’s not easy being a single dad by any measure and I do have my own unique circumstances. It has been a tough year but I have fought through that and intend to follow this to the finish making next year so much better than the struggle that was 2013.
On Friday last week 5UB told me to keep an eye on my thread at 7pm; I did just that, I was not prepared for what he posted. And now through the week it has just snowballed beyond anything anyone expected, especially me. So much goodwill and generosity in both praise and contributions; it’s hard to take in such magnitude.
Castiel; your son is a credit to you I expect you had a very proud moment, he and his friends showing such thoughtfulness shows there are many great parents out there. My eldest son also 14 was running for a bus to meet his friends a couple of weeks ago and saw an old gentlemen trip, his dogs ran away as he fell. My son forgot about why he was running and went to help the old guy up; after he checked he was ok he then went and brought his two dogs back, that was my recent proud moment as a father.
5UB; I don’t think you expected this, it’s almost taken on a life of it’s own, but it is down to you and the generosity and thoughtfulness of those who joined you. The shop and the community around it that is OverClockers; the vendors and reps, so many individuals joining together to make this happen. You all have my deepest heartfelt thanks; this is a thanks that I cannot begin to put into words so forgive me if I stumble a little.
Someone asked if I was a gamer; I am that, an avid gamer, just this last year I have not had much time to play. Having children so nervous that they think you are going to leave them if you change your shirt does not leave much time for games. They are making progress though and given time the things that they were scared of will leave them and they will learn to trust that I will never leave them or let them down.
This first Christmas with just me is a big part of that progress, my youngest daughter worries so much that she is going to wake on Christmas morning to absolutely nothing. It hurts to hear her say that. Last year on Christmas eve I phoned their mum and asked her if she had gifts for them; offering to bring what I had got and even go so far as to change the labels so the kids would think the presents were from mum and dad. All I got from her was abuse along the lines of how could I forget my own blood, laced with many insults and profanity. I could not get hold of anyone until lunch time Christmas day and then I learned the truth, they did not have one thing to open that morning. My eldest son has told me many times how his mum said to him she forgot it was Christmas. That was a heart-breaking day, when they got to me they had been crying most of the day. I rounded that day off the best way I could and by the finish of things I had them smiling and enjoying themselves.
This year I promised myself I would give them a Christmas they deserve and as of this week that plan has now tuned into a Christmas they could not imagine. This is being made possible by each and every one of you; your support, kind words, praise and efforts. You are helping me heal my children’s bad memories and every gesture you have shown will put a smile on their faces. They will know that I did not do this alone; they will know that other people have helped this happen. They will have an amazing Christmas and you all helped make it happen.
As for me; don’t worry FreeFaller I will not shy away from the forums and more than ever I want to do what I planned a couple of years ago. I was going to attend the London Bridge meeting but could not as I was still living with the ex at that point and her behaviour was so bad I could not attend in the end. I do remember that I mentioned back then I always had problems with doormen turning me away thinking I was drunk when I was still stone cold sober because of the way I walk. Your reply was I would have no problems with doormen while I was with you. I will get to one of these meets and shake many a hand, share a lot of hugs and manhugs.
The PC that seems to be quickly taking shape on my behalf was a huge shock also; I am still trying to take this and everything else in, and the additional items that have been so generously contributed.
Overclockers UK - Nexus 7, OcUK Mug and XXL Mousepad (may include Haribo)!
-VK-, AMD - AMD Radeon 290X Graphics Card!
Giga-Man - Gigabyte - Gigabyte Z87-SLI Motherboard!
Ace Modder, Antec - PSU (To be confirmed which model when Lee is back from his holidays)
Simms and Kingston - Kingston 120GB SSD!
Corsair_Baz, Corsair - Corsair 16GB of Vengeance Pro DDR3, Corsair K70 mechanical keyboard, Corsair M65 mouse and a Corsair Venegance 1500 v2 headset!
Iiyama-Iiyama e2773 27" Monitor
Maundie for the Hdd
Metalface Mark - Wholesale Heaters - Veito CH1800RE “should thaw me out pretty well”
The Shadow “mystery gift”
To each and every one of you my kindest regards and heartfelt thanks; if I have missed anyone off I do apologise, I had no idea what to put, this whole thing is overwhelming.
Hitman_Leon
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Thank-you davido!
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Overwhelming generosity simply leaves me speechless.
My children are Tyler 4, Lauren 10, Michael 14 and Chloe 17.
My children are Tyler 4, Lauren 10, Michael 14 and Chloe 17.
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on Thursday i will post out the Christmas Jumper Mug
sorry for the delay
Didn't Read Thread I thought this was OcUK Secret Santa 2013
Apologies
We at MGT (OcUK DayZ community) thought Leon needed some Christmas cheer, so we've donated £50 via 5ub
Happy Christmas dude from all of the team at Money Grabbing Trolls
Thank-you, and a very merry Christmas to you guy's too.
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AMD 290X, Kingston SSD and 2TB HDD is here by me. Just collecting everything together and we will ship it to you Leon.
5UB asked me about this; I like doing a new build, takes me an age with these hands but I like the satisfaction of doing it and it's been a long while since my last one, going to enjoy this like a kid with a pile of new toys
Personally I think now is a quality time for Leon to show his kids how to build a PC
Always engage the youngsters when I do a build; they love helping me out with the small parts and screws I can't hold or pick up, when my oldest son was 5 he did a show and tell thing at school where he took in a box full of old parts and mesmerised the staff explaining all the pc parts and what they did and how they worked together.
It came yesterday; just as it is turning icy, thanks again
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Leon, as soon as the bits get to you, give me some colours, and tell me what your gpu needs and I will fire some cables into the post for you
Will do, thanks again
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Misdirection
I lied to Leon when he will get it
Christmas mug lol
Hardly Swordfish but I'll give that one to you
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Pictures took at 3am when I had just finished a marathon last lot of wrapping; hence my mug resting on the gift pile loaded with caffeine! this place is chaos today, kids are absolutely loving it, thanks to everyone so much for making this Christmas so extra special for them.
I hope you all are have a very merry Christmas too!
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The kids are still having a great time; playing with all their new things, enjoying their new clothes and smiling like it's still Christmas morning.
I was a tense Christmas morning for me; biting my lip and holding back for the good of the kids while their mum was here with their grandmother to bring them gifts and watch them unwrap. It went well though; the kids loved it, Lauren actually started crying when she came into the living room because she did not look in the right direction and missed the fact that the whole back wall of the living room was awash with presents. She then started laughing and crying again when she noticed them all.
I was pent up as I had a letter Christmas eve from tax credits saying that they had decided that I did not have main responsibility for my oldest son who has lived with me from June 10th. I then had a letter yesterday saying I have to pay back most of the tax credits I have had for him except for one days payment. Child benefit will follow soon, first to tell me I am not due any payments and then to say how much I have to pay back.
This has happened because I had a questionnaire sent to me in November, this asked what care financially I provide for my son. I promptly filled in this form but the form specified that I needed to send a supporting letter from whichever agency placed him with me to evidence when he came to me. I have repeatedly asked the social-worker by phone to provide me with this letter, also I asked her in person at the last meeting with the agencies involved on the 20th of November. Since that meeting I have repeatedly phoned and left messages for her to call me back or provide the letter I need so I can send in the tax credits questionnaire. She has returned no call and sent me no letter for proof of my sons residence.
This has now come to a head with the tax credits being withdrawn for my son and me getting an overpayment bill. The ex will have had the same questionnaire as me an it seems she has sent hers back saying my oldest son still lives with her. The situation it seems is that my ex has continually carried on claiming tax credits for my oldest son and her award will continue still because the useless social worker has not provided evidence of my sons residence.
I have not been able to contact tax-credits yet as the lines were busy on Friday and Saturday, I will try again tomorrow. The main thing is this all rests on two things, my ex obviously lying and saying my son still lives with her without having to provide proof of his residence. Secondly the inability of a social worker to provide a simple letter, the same letter that she provided for Tyler and Lauren.
Sorry for not updating earlier, its been a whirlwind couple of days. I've been weighed down with stress over the tax credits situation and yesterday of all things my younger brother disappeared. He left everyone fraught with worry as he has been very down over a girl he was seeing a little while ago, he also had not been to visit his sons which is very out of character for him. He had mentioned disappearing and then did just that, the worse part of the whole thing was his car was found first. He did however turn up late last night safe and well full of apologies, he had dumped his car and phone then gone walking off in no particular direction ending up a couple of towns away from where he left his car.
As I said the kids are having a wonderful time still and I cannot thank everyone enough for the help I've had this Christmas to make it special for them.
I was a tense Christmas morning for me; biting my lip and holding back for the good of the kids while their mum was here with their grandmother to bring them gifts and watch them unwrap. It went well though; the kids loved it, Lauren actually started crying when she came into the living room because she did not look in the right direction and missed the fact that the whole back wall of the living room was awash with presents. She then started laughing and crying again when she noticed them all.
I was pent up as I had a letter Christmas eve from tax credits saying that they had decided that I did not have main responsibility for my oldest son who has lived with me from June 10th. I then had a letter yesterday saying I have to pay back most of the tax credits I have had for him except for one days payment. Child benefit will follow soon, first to tell me I am not due any payments and then to say how much I have to pay back.
This has happened because I had a questionnaire sent to me in November, this asked what care financially I provide for my son. I promptly filled in this form but the form specified that I needed to send a supporting letter from whichever agency placed him with me to evidence when he came to me. I have repeatedly asked the social-worker by phone to provide me with this letter, also I asked her in person at the last meeting with the agencies involved on the 20th of November. Since that meeting I have repeatedly phoned and left messages for her to call me back or provide the letter I need so I can send in the tax credits questionnaire. She has returned no call and sent me no letter for proof of my sons residence.
This has now come to a head with the tax credits being withdrawn for my son and me getting an overpayment bill. The ex will have had the same questionnaire as me an it seems she has sent hers back saying my oldest son still lives with her. The situation it seems is that my ex has continually carried on claiming tax credits for my oldest son and her award will continue still because the useless social worker has not provided evidence of my sons residence.
I have not been able to contact tax-credits yet as the lines were busy on Friday and Saturday, I will try again tomorrow. The main thing is this all rests on two things, my ex obviously lying and saying my son still lives with her without having to provide proof of his residence. Secondly the inability of a social worker to provide a simple letter, the same letter that she provided for Tyler and Lauren.
Sorry for not updating earlier, its been a whirlwind couple of days. I've been weighed down with stress over the tax credits situation and yesterday of all things my younger brother disappeared. He left everyone fraught with worry as he has been very down over a girl he was seeing a little while ago, he also had not been to visit his sons which is very out of character for him. He had mentioned disappearing and then did just that, the worse part of the whole thing was his car was found first. He did however turn up late last night safe and well full of apologies, he had dumped his car and phone then gone walking off in no particular direction ending up a couple of towns away from where he left his car.
As I said the kids are having a wonderful time still and I cannot thank everyone enough for the help I've had this Christmas to make it special for them.
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- 29 May 2004
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- 4,488
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Talked to HMRC; or was it a talking brick, not sure..........
Gave the advisor all the details; she said that nothing will change until I get the letter proving residence of my son (I expected this). I went on to say his mum must be claiming fraudulently; her retort was "I cannot discuss other peoples claims", I asked if she could just take the details and make a note on the system she gave the same retort. After going around in circles for a while I asked her for a way to report a suspected fraudulent claim, her retort was "I'll just open up the system for that". Why she could not have said this when I first asked if I could giver her the details I do not know, it would have saved so much time. I gave her everything I knew and she has passed this on to an external department to be investigated. If they view this as fraud and not a simple overpayment the ex might find herself in trouble with the courts once again after the conditional discharge she was given in February (I stress might as the way a lot of cases go these days leaves this open to debate).
Called the social workers office again; she is on leave while the 6th of January. Told the person handling the call the full context of what was happening, she said someone may be able to help and they will call me if they can. There were no managers available as they are running a low staff level over this period, also the social worker who is supposed to handle this is herself one of the managers. This leaves me thinking that none of the other staff will call me back as they don't want to step on a senior staff members toes.
Gave the advisor all the details; she said that nothing will change until I get the letter proving residence of my son (I expected this). I went on to say his mum must be claiming fraudulently; her retort was "I cannot discuss other peoples claims", I asked if she could just take the details and make a note on the system she gave the same retort. After going around in circles for a while I asked her for a way to report a suspected fraudulent claim, her retort was "I'll just open up the system for that". Why she could not have said this when I first asked if I could giver her the details I do not know, it would have saved so much time. I gave her everything I knew and she has passed this on to an external department to be investigated. If they view this as fraud and not a simple overpayment the ex might find herself in trouble with the courts once again after the conditional discharge she was given in February (I stress might as the way a lot of cases go these days leaves this open to debate).
Called the social workers office again; she is on leave while the 6th of January. Told the person handling the call the full context of what was happening, she said someone may be able to help and they will call me if they can. There were no managers available as they are running a low staff level over this period, also the social worker who is supposed to handle this is herself one of the managers. This leaves me thinking that none of the other staff will call me back as they don't want to step on a senior staff members toes.
- Joined
- 29 May 2004
- Posts
- 4,488
- Location
- Tall building nearby
Finally had time to go through a stack of receipts from Christmas shopping as I had to separate out what I spent myself, there is just over £300 left. I will round this up to £400 and give the kids a £100 each to either go shopping with, have some kind of treat or save.
Please no more donations; anyone who missed the donations give to a cause that you hold close to your own ideals. This whole thing is still shocking to me and those who gave have given four children a very merry Christmas!
Sincere and deepest thanks to everyone, Hitman.
Please no more donations; anyone who missed the donations give to a cause that you hold close to your own ideals. This whole thing is still shocking to me and those who gave have given four children a very merry Christmas!
Sincere and deepest thanks to everyone, Hitman.