The OCUK anonymous confession thread!

[Vanilla]

My best mates sister is hot. Really hot. She's 2 years younger than me and my mates (we're all 20/21 and she is 18). We've discussed it between us before and its always been agreed that sisters are off limits. I used to talk to her quite a lot in the pub when my best mate wasn't there, and we get on so well. He doesn't like me talking to her though because she's always very touchy feely with me.

To cut a long story short, i went round to see her at her invitation a few weeks ago and we ended up having crazy sex on the sofa in my mates living room. I was meant to go to the pub with him that night but i told him i was ill. She wants to tell him about us so we can be a proper couple but i don't want to lose my best mate. He was the first person i met at my new school when i was 8 and he's been a great mate to me for over 12 years. He's always been there for me, i've had some tough times in my life and he was the one that would always be there to listen. His sister has a tongue piercing and double D's though.

 

[Vanilla]

I am 20 years old and I have never loved another human being in my entire life. I don't even love my parents. I will feel nothing when they die.

 

[Vanilla]

I have been with my current girlfriend for 8 years give or take a few short breaks. During this time I also started to sleep with a close female friend of mine who I have strong feelings for. During one particularly naughty evening we decided to play with a few "toys". My girlfriend came home the next day and proceeded to put on a show for me using said "toy" which had not been cleaned from the previous evening.

 

[Vanilla]

I split with my long term (ex)gf back in January and have since been on the most
self destructive rampage of my life. For the first two months I still hoped
things would turn around. We were still sleeping together regulary although not
on speaking terms. For those two months I was still quite level.

However, I started to hit the bottle quite hard and still haven't stopped. I get
home from work around 5ish and instantly go grab a beer... and another... and
another... and another. At weekends I literally get so smashed that I have no
idea what is happening. I've alienated friends who have tried to have a word and
get nowhere at all. I've woken up with countless women I don't remember meeting
- some would probably say it's a good thing, but it can actually be quite
disturbing to roll over and find some women when you honestly have no idea where
they've come from - I picked up a stalker this way just to add to my misery.

Related to the above - About three weeks ago I woke up with one of my friends 20
year old sister. I'm considerably older and if (when) my friend finds out... he
is going to tear me a new hole. I honestly don't remember how it happened
though!

I haven't been shopping in nearly three months - the only reason I go to the
supermarket is to buy more beer and/ or whiskey. Somehow I've managed to hold my
job down, although I usually sleep for the first couple of hours of the working
day because I'm either still drunk or heavily hungover.

Amongst all this I keep getting calls from my ex about how much she misses me
and loves me. She won't get back with me but still comes round every so often
for a "hug and a kiss." No matter how many times I tell her it is not good for
me and is ruining me, she keeps doing it. She is literally my only thought 99%
of the day. It is now at a point where darker thoughts keep entering my mind and
they're seeming like a good idea: I know they're not and it's totally stupid but
it doesn't stop them coming into my mind on a more regular basis.

I really need to snap myself out of this emo/angst ridden hole I'm digging...
but can't seem to put the bottle down to do it.

 

[Vanilla]

During my GCSE year at secondary, my dad had a stroke. December 21st 2001. I'm quite certain that I felt it didn't affect me at all, but the reasons for this are many and varied. Suffice to say, when it came to exam time, I found the study leave a much better period of 'party and not care' rather than studying. I ended up falling short of my predicted grades but still decent none the less.

My dad's stroke was brought on by stress. He was working a full time job, plus going to commitees and meetings at every oppotunity, rarely coming home before 11pm (Two fingers to you lot who think all civil servants are lazy, granted most are). Looking back now, I can't help but really deeply hate him for doing it. I know he was only doing what he loved, which he did, and still does, which many of us can only hope for. But I still hate him for it.

I always think it's selfish of me for hating him, but then I think it's selfish that my dad basically drove himself to having a stroke instead of enjoying his family. I've never said this anywhere outside of my head before, but I really do resent him for doing this.
A few weeks before his stroke, coming back from a guitar lesson we had a good talk about him and his life, which made me really what a great person he was, someone to look up to. Then the idiot goes and has a stroke. Since then he hasn't been the same , following lots of rehab (Rehab UK do great work), he went back to work for a while, and has since moved into consultancy. His health has suffered but what I miss most is the dad he was. I want my old dad back.

 

[Vanilla]

Currently lying in bed, phoned in sick to work because i cant physically stand up without going dizzy, but anyway....

Rewind to 8pm last night, I got in and felt fine. Had some tea (plate full of pasta + ketchup) and a bottle of pepsi.

Around 10pm I went to bed, watched BB, and then an episode of 24 and my stomach stated feeling a bit odd.

About an hour after I went to sleep I woke up in agony. My stomach was killing and everytime I lay on my side I felt sick. I felt like I needed the toilet, or a really big burp, so off I trundle to the toilet.

Now what I should point out is that last night we had a guest stopping here, and she'll be here every night till Sunday as her parents left her in our care. She's 17, and slept in my mums room opposite the bathroom.

So I'm sitting on the toilet, and all you have to imagine is the scene in dumb and dumber when Harry FINALLY gets to a toilet following Lloyd planting a laxative in his drink.

Everything was deadly silent, then all of a sudden I let rip, the much feared Diarrhoea had struck! Now I know for a fact that you can hear anyone taking a **** in our house from any room upstairs, but obviously my situation wasn't just a few simple "plops".

I feel so embarrassed I think I ate way too much pasta, bot sure really. Still in agony now, feel like I need to bump constantly but nothing will happen.

 

[Vanilla]

One night, I and a few mates were drinking at his house, across the street there was a pizza place which was totally empty this night. We all got a bit peckish and decided to go and get something to nibble on. So off we went to this pizza shop. and in this pizza shop there is a huge glass cabinate with all of the Kebab fillings etc behind it. So here i am leaning on this glass front and all of a sudden Smash the whole thing (glass) shatters and falls in. amediatly my mates run out of the place so my natural instict was to follow them, which i did. As we fleed i was hoping that the guys erving us wasnt around which he wasnt to catch us. So we ran around the back off my mates house and into his house we went. We then sat in his front room watching the events to follow. A guy walks in to the place and is nosing about at the broken glass, and out comes to Pizza bloke. Who ammediatly presumes it was him. These two guys then get in a bit of a tumble and the police were called and arrive 2 mins later. They both get carted off and i get away scott free..

Im sorry

 

[Vanilla]

I've sent in tonnes of confessions that haven't been used, I think Vanilla's fear for his account is preventing us hearing the real good stuff, trust me, these will blow your socks off.

Not really. There have actually been very few that break the rules, but many that are just lame. One sentence crap tbh.