The Rise of Lonely Single Straight Men

Richie · 22 Aug 2022 at 08:21

A new report has been published stating that the numbers of single, lonely, young and middle aged straight men are on the rise.

The main driver, according to the article, is the rise in standards by women not putting up with emotionally unavailable men with poor relationship skills.

It goes on further to advise that single, child-free women are the happiest group in life.

So I thought this place would be a good place to discuss :cry:

(I wasn't sure if I should put this in SC or GD)

A couple of links relating to the report:

https://www.boredpanda.com/number-of-lonely-single-men-rise-psychologist-greg-matos/

https://www.dazeddigital.com/life-culture/article/56755/1/lonely-single-men-are-on-the-rise-psychology-today#amp_agsa_csa=49326498&amp_ct=1661118478197&amp_tf=From%20%251%24s&aoh=16611183573487&csi=0

So are they correct?

1) Are women no longer putting up with, what the report states, low standards?

2) Are single children women the happiest cohort all through life?

Or, is there another side to the discussion:

3) Are men choosing to be single due to the potential downsides of relationships (divorce, emotional/psychological abuse etc)

4) Are women's relationship standards getting too high - they insist on a man being excellent at all areas (physical looks, high earner, great domestically and emotionally available/vulnerable yet not a "wimp") - is this a double standard given me are derided for wanting a "hot women that's great in bed and not a ladette"

5) Does being a single man inherently mean you are lonely and depressed by this?

Over to GD....

Ahleckz · 22 Aug 2022 at 08:38

Looking forward to Roars view on this!

Slam62 · 22 Aug 2022 at 08:39

None of the above, its due to a lack of a future

PlacidCasual · 22 Aug 2022 at 08:46

If women want young men that meet their relationship expectations they need to date men that don't meet them. My wife benefits from the painful lessons I learnt in relationships I had with women before we met.

I'm married with kids, I wasn't a good husband immediately I am a far better husband now than I was 5 years ago. I have matured into my responsibilities. I was not immediately a good boyfriend it took many failed relationships before I was something approaching a good boyfriend. Not cos I'm a dick but because I was inexperienced.

If women and girls refuse to have relationships with whole swathes of young men then the available men to form relationships will be smaller. For every single young man will be a single young woman. Young men and women socialise each other to the point where they are both able to form stable lasting relationships. Pulling up the drawbridge and waiting for the white knight invites long term disappointment.

VincentHanna · 22 Aug 2022 at 08:48

Slam62 said:
None of the above, its due to a lack of a future

Doesn't even make sense.

Op says young and middle aged men being single & lonely is on the rise.

If somebody is middle aged, they are by definition at least halfway through their life. Why would these people feel they don't have a future?

dave28 · 22 Aug 2022 at 08:49

i cant see how that is true.

Single woman with no kids, goes out to work full time just to have it robbed by rent, bills and council tax that she has to pay herself with no help.
Goes home to an empty home after work, has to cook for one and so on....

what i think happens now in modern times is that women in general have very high expectations of what man they want and are not interested in anything less so they end up in a hole where they are single with no kids and there are all these poor guys who are not wanted.

Housey · 22 Aug 2022 at 09:01

Too busy following millionaires lifestyles whilst trying to perfect their InstaFace to hook Mr Right. In my experience women want honesty, emotional intelligence and the ability to access wealth. They need to realise that finding all of that will be hard for most of them, not least as the latter value often carries the most weight it seems. Security of future etc

malachi · 22 Aug 2022 at 09:10

Since the dawn of time, men's expectations for women has never changed.

Women's expectations for men has always changed because what do women want??!?!? More!

This was proven when the dating app Bumble had to remove height as an dating preference as women were selecting unrealistic measurements. Somehow they think most men are over 6ft 5 when most men are no taller than 6ft.

But this is the world we live in, in the western world anyway. As we are not at war (yet) or at risk from an invasion then these are the results you get. People with high expectations that said, this is also causing men to get lazy. Women are getting fatter/bigger and men are expected to date them. See fat acceptance movement, which is run and driven by women. Men are getting fat and lazy too but no women are getting with them.

mid_gen · 22 Aug 2022 at 09:12

It's hardly news that there's a growing cohort of lonely disenfranchised men getting sucked into internet echo chambers that convince them to blame all their woes on women. Plenty of them on here.

malachi · 22 Aug 2022 at 09:15

mid_gen said:
It's hardly news that there's a growing cohort of lonely disenfranchised men getting sucked into internet echo chambers that convince them to blame all their woes on women. Plenty of them on here.

Of course because its always somebody elses fault and never their own. I speak for both men and women.

Uther · 22 Aug 2022 at 09:16

I blame the internet. Lots of single blokes sitting in their bedroom gaming their life away rather than going out and actually meeting women.
Women expecting the man they want to be rich and succesful...

Craterloads · 22 Aug 2022 at 09:17

Solution is to become gay and these lonely straight men could become happy gay men with plenty of like minded partners being available.

bigmike20vt · 22 Aug 2022 at 09:18

naturally birth rate of men is higher than women... in nature this is offset by higher mortality rate and whilst it is still true in our society it is less than the birth ratio afaik. AS such so long as women are monogamous then some guys are gonna lose out.

As for the higher standard of man that women can now demand........ maybe..... no comment.

I will say back when i was dating on dating sites, there were way more men than women......

I was pretty happy being single to be honest. I would say i am happier now i am married again with a kid but then i would say that. If i was single i would still be happy as well, there is a lot to be said for only having to worry about yourself and being free to do what you want when you want.

NVP · 22 Aug 2022 at 09:25

**** women, amirite?

Terminal_Boy · 22 Aug 2022 at 09:27

Le Clandestin Brun said:
**** women, amirite?

Only if they consent in writing, in triplicate with one copy lodged with a lawyer.

Terminal_Boy · 22 Aug 2022 at 09:28

Craterloads said:
Solution is to become gay and these lonely straight men could become happy gay men with plenty of like minded partners being available.

Or start identifying as women and become lesbians.

Uther · 22 Aug 2022 at 09:28

A war normally sorts out the male to female ratio, but that's a bit extreme.

bigmike20vt · 22 Aug 2022 at 09:29

malachi said:
Women are getting fatter/bigger and men are expected to date them. See fat acceptance movement, which is run and driven by women. Men are getting fat and lazy too but no women are getting with them.

it isnt very PC but this was my experience when i was on dating sites back in the day. It all depends what the men and women are looking for IME.

IF you are looking for a long term relation ship it is a mine field for the ladies, with lots of blokes just looking for a good time (fair enough so long as honest about it) but if both parties are looking just for a good time then for the women on there also looking for that it is a buyers market for them.

C Kent · 22 Aug 2022 at 09:35

Men have always been the majority of dating app users.
Women historically have always been happier 25-45 (the age ranges from the 'study'), here's an article from 2008 for example.
Women are setting themselves unrealistic dating goals regarding the men they want, as noted above by malachi some dating companies are having to remove certain criteria due to this. There have also been plenty of studies done that show women rate themselves higher than men, feeding into the loop of a women setting themselves higher, unobtainable relationship goals.

Anecdotal evidence, I've known far more single women in their 30's that are unhappy with their lot than single men.

Chris Wilson · 22 Aug 2022 at 09:41

A lot of middle aged men will settle for a secondhand car, but not want a secondhand wife. The problem for them is many British women are very much secondhand at 16, let alone 46, so finding a mint condition one, and even without the baggage of teenage kids in tow, to boot, is a problem.

Add in the trend to look and act as if they are trying to do an honest prostitute out of a job, whilst screaming "Me too" if men act in accordance with the message their clothes and manner emit, it's probably a minefield not worth negotiating for many. Then there's divorce law...

Perhaps Roar can add some more...