Think somethings going on with my girlfriend...

If he was just an 'ex' male friend - why would she keep it from the you 'the love of her life' for the last 2 years.

Does she not trust you - or is she up to something.

From my experience with woman - I wouldn't trust her. It's most likely 50% she isn't up to anything, but she wants something - most likely she's bored or wants to stray and I mean really - why else would she still chat to an ex she claims to dislike and tells you she doesn't want to know whilst lying to you (that is what shes doing)

It's OK for a GF/wife to have male friends - but once she starts keeping them secret or not telling you about them (and even claiming it was for your own good/or because you are too jeolous) - ITS TIME TO CONSIDER MOVING ON.


You're wasting time if she is up to something - there's plenty more laydeez out there who will just as sexy as her - but will be trustworthy and not secretive. If you're on here asking - you know it's starting to go pear-shaped.

Install that key logger and prepare to be shocked ;)
 
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Surfer said:
CONFRONT

you dont need to go down the keylogger route as that makes you look like the bad guy and she will turn it around and make it about you and trust blah blah. When really this whole situation is about her.

She said she doesnt speak to him anymore

She is - therefore she is lying to you.

add that to your man instincts telling you smt is up e.g. change of trust level with you.


= confront about whole situation. I forsee possible break-up tbh

why? because once a woman's heart n mind isnt in the relationship her body might be but she will be looking for someone else e.g. getting back with the ex in her mind she will be thinking of all the good times etc. She wont be thinking of the bad times because the ex has apologised to her about his infidelity.

Time to man the lifeboats - and start cutting your emotional ties to this relationship (she has already started this imo)
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I suggested evade.

If he confronts, she'll know he's been snooping, and even if she's innocent in all this, that's grounds to end the relationship. Trust. Works wonders.
 
meghatronic said:
I suggested evade.

If he confronts, she'll know he's been snooping, and even if she's innocent in all this, that's grounds to end the relationship. Trust. Works wonders.
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Evade?? How can he evade? He'll go nuts.

She's hiding stuff and not acting her normal self. He then finds her talkin to an Ex about a girl cheating on her BF of two years. She's lied about talkin to the ex. Alarm bells are ringing!!

Ask her if there's anything on her mind as she's not been her normal self etc do not say you've been snooping around (well not yet anyway, see what she says first).

Do not evade! Do not bury head in sand.

Edit: For ****'s sake do not keylog either!
 
She said she hasn't spoken to him in a year but clearly has. I wouldn't call that as "Protecting You", if she has nothing to hide she'd come clean. Confront her about it, she'll probably say you don't trust me, and wouldn't go looking for info behind your back.

But just say you were worried if she's straight up just tell her how you feel don't hold back. As your hapiness is on the line.
 
depends how she's acting towards you, if she's being very distant then there's something going on but if things seem alright then just keep an eye on the situation. Has she always been so secretive? to be honest i'm secretive despite having nothing to hide and to be honest for some strage reason girls like staying friends with ex's. One of my exes still texts me despite me dumping her in a very harsh fashion.

The worst thing you can do is ignore it though, when you see her minimising windows just jokingly ask her what she's hiding, if she goes on the defensive then somethings up.
 
silane said:
Evade?? How can he evade? He'll go nuts.

She's hiding stuff and not acting her normal self. He then finds her talkin to an Ex about a girl cheating on her BF of two years. She's lied about talkin to the ex. Alarm bells are ringing!!

Ask her if there's anything on her mind as she's not been her normal self etc do not say you've been snooping around (well not yet anyway, see what she says first).

Do not evade! Do not bury head in sand.

Edit: For ****'s sake do not keylog either!
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Well, to confront would end the relationship, to retreat would end the relationship.

Evading is not keeping his head in the send. HE knows somethings up, he can keep his eyes open and then confront when he has evidence he hasn't gotten by being a bit stalkery.
 
she left herself logged in to msn - he happened to glance at the screen - how can she hang him for that when she has been blatantly lying to him over her involvement with an ex.

Confront wouldnt end the relationship necessarily - it would force openness and honesty from them and if the relationship is meant to survive then they will be better for it.
 
And why would it be so bad exactly ? It is GD - full of males/females who are of similar age and probably going through similar experiences.

His mates will probably side with him - with most of them telling him to dump her or to go and shag some other thing that has been getting friendly with him. If he was to confide in his parents/relations - they would also give some biased views.

At least on here he gets all sorts - and most of the replies have been though it enough times already - so how is it any different to real life. OK - maybe if you could filter out the 'post of pic of her so we can hit on it' posts - it might be slightly better - but I can't really see the problem. At the end of the day he has to go with his heart based on what he already knows/feels - and if he needs some pointers - there's no harm in asking for suggestions.

Or do you suggest he write into a national newspaper for that 'Marie Claire' feel.
 
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meghatronic said:
Well, to confront would end the relationship, to retreat would end the relationship.

Evading is not keeping his head in the send. HE knows somethings up, he can keep his eyes open and then confront when he has evidence he hasn't gotten by being a bit stalkery.
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I never mentioned confrontation. Asking her what is up is not exactly demanding stuff is it? :confused: If she blows up in his face then it'll just prove she's got something to hide.

It's obviously been going on for a few weeks now (maybe even months?) he's worried enough to ask people on here, so the next step is just to ask her if she's ok with things as they are. Probing (oo eer) doesn't have to mean confronting her and accusing her of humping the milkman and his son, at the same time, whilst phoning the Ex.
 
Why dont you just talk to her? something like...

i got out of the bath the other night and had a go on the computer, you'd left yourself logged in to msn and i saw you were talking to (whatever his name is)

I'm not making a big deal about it, if you want to be friends with him again then fine but how come you haven't mentioned anything? i wasn't going to say anything but i've been thinking about it and just thought i'd ask and see if everything is ok.

Saying nothing and trying to forget about it wont help and will just drive you crazy. If she gets all defensive and starts an argument about how you dont trust her i'd prepare for the worst. If she wants to bring trust into it she shouldn't be sneaking around talking to her ex boyfriend while you're in the bath :P
 
Andrew1978 said:
Why dont you just talk to her? something like...

i got out of the bath the other night and had a go on the computer, you'd left yourself logged in to msn and i saw you were talking to (whatever his name is)

I'm not making a big deal about it, if you want to be friends with him again then fine but how come you haven't mentioned anything? i wasn't going to say anything but i've been thinking about it and just thought i'd ask and see if everything is ok.

Saying nothing and trying to forget about it wont help and will just drive you crazy. If she gets all defensive and starts an argument about how you dont trust her i'd prepare for the worst. If she wants to bring trust into it she shouldn't be sneaking around talking to her ex boyfriend while you're in the bath :P
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^^ most sensible post in this thread. Common sense thats all he needs to utilize.
 
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