This Instant And Moment - 2025!

dlockers said:
I just dropped my girl at school and managed to avoid a torrential downpour. Fingers crossed for 3pm
:D
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Reminds me I was shopping yesterday and there was a dad with his girl of about 3-4 years old walking behind me and he said something to her I didn't catch and her reply was "I will daddy when I get more than 2000 followers on TikTok" ... I have no idea what to make of that.
 
Raymond Lin said:
Did you get the "we need to talk"? :(
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Well, it’s about wanting kids. I don’t want them and have been honest since day one.
She’s been unsure but now leaning towards wanting them. I explained why I don’t, and we agree we are going to keep talking about it before making a decision on what to do.
But feels like a sensible, loving, ending of the relationship is the likely outcome.
Tbh, I’d rather we do that maturely and remain friends. I’ve never managed that with a breakup, always took the relationship too far past the end point that resentment sets in.
She’s not pregnant, which is good!

We’ve been speaking about getting a dog, well, it would be my dog, and this has led her to revisit her thoughts on kids. For some reason… but alas, I think it’s time I get my dog!
 
Ahleckz said:
Well, it’s about wanting kids. I don’t want them and have been honest since day one.
She’s been unsure but now leaning towards wanting them. I explained why I don’t, and we agree we are going to keep talking about it before making a decision on what to do.
But feels like a sensible, loving, ending of the relationship is the likely outcome.
Tbh, I’d rather we do that maturely and remain friends. I’ve never managed that with a breakup, always took the relationship too far past the end point that resentment sets in.
She’s not pregnant, which is good!

We’ve been speaking about getting a dog, well, it would be my dog, and this has led her to revisit her thoughts on kids. For some reason… but alas, I think it’s time I get my dog!
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When I was at uni I met a girl (her room was opposite mine at Halls of Residence) who stayed friends with all her ex's and I did ask her how she managed that. Her answer was and I am paraphrasing "If they are nice enough for me to love them in the first place then they are good enough as friends."

She has a very healthy way of looking at relationships and not go past that point where love becomes hate.

I hope you sort it out mate, all the best.
 
Ahleckz said:
Well, it’s about wanting kids. I don’t want them and have been honest since day one.
She’s been unsure but now leaning towards wanting them. I explained why I don’t, and we agree we are going to keep talking about it before making a decision on what to do.
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When my partner's first nephew was born we had been together about 8 years. She generally didn't think she wanted kids and I generally did i.e. one day, but not set on it. A few weeks after meeting the baby she said to me, "You know I think we used to be 60/40 on kids, and we've gone to 95/5". Meaning I was 60% sure and seeing her brother as a father made me want them more, while she realised that she was happy without kids and just being an aunt.

So far we've made it work but I don't know what the future holds - I'm mid-late 30s and it's the age that a lot of your thoughts can turn to being a parent before you're too old. Basically I weighed up how good our relationship is, a known factor, against how much I think I'd enjoy being a dad, a slightly more unknown factor.
 
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Raymond Lin said:
When I was at uni I met a girl (her room was opposite mine at Halls of Residence) who stayed friends with all her ex's and I did ask her how she managed that. Her answer was and I am paraphrasing "If they are nice enough for me to love them in the first place then they are good enough as friends."

She has a very healthy way of looking at relationships and not go past that point where love becomes hate.

I hope you sort it out mate, all the best.
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LuckyBenski said:
When my partner's first nephew was born we had been together about 8 years. She generally didn't think she wanted kids and I generally did i.e. one day, but not set on it. A few weeks after meeting the baby she said to me, "You know I think we used to be 60/40 on kids, and we've gone to 95/5". Meaning I have 60% sure and seeing her brother as a father made me want them more, while she realised that she was happy without kids and just being an aunt.

So far we've made it work but I don't know what the future holds - I'm mid-late 30s and it's the age that a lot of your thoughts can turn to being a parent before you're too old. Basically I weighed up how good our relationship is, a known factor, against how much I think I'd enjoy being a dad, a slightly more unknown factor.
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Mr Jack said:
@Ahleckz Well, that sucks, but sounds like you're both handling it in a mature and sensible way. I hope things work out for you.
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Cheers all. Not really sure what to do! She’s a great girl; and someone I actually thought I’d have a future with. I guess I considered this would happen but did think she was leaning to not wanting kids.
Absolutely can’t fault her view and there’s no ill will. But, I do feel like a condemned man waiting for my hanging! We’ve got four weeks of quite fun activities and lots of meals out (something we love). Just feels like we will get all that done and then the metaphorical hangman will arrive!
I try and take a step back and say, ag least we can end on a high. But it’s so very sad. Not sure if it’s best to just say bye to the relationship now rather than drag it out.
 
Ahleckz said:
Cheers all. Not really sure what to do! She’s a great girl; and someone I actually thought I’d have a future with. I guess I considered this would happen but did think she was leaning to not wanting kids.
Absolutely can’t fault her view and there’s no ill will. But, I do feel like a condemned man waiting for my hanging! We’ve got four weeks of quite fun activities and lots of meals out (something we love). Just feels like we will get all that done and then the metaphorical hangman will arrive!
I try and take a step back and say, ag least we can end on a high. But it’s so very sad. Not sure if it’s best to just say bye to the relationship now rather than drag it out.
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Sounds like you've made you're mind up before the fact and/or second-guessing. Both understandable.

Without thinking, what does your gut tell you?
 
@Ahleckz sounds like a tough one in all ways, which means there can be no perfect outcome… so remember that even a ‘good outcome’ will not be perfect <- a little trick I use to make me relax when facing a hard time.

I’m sure you have done, but perhaps also stress test how you’d feel about having ‘a family’, as opposed to just ‘having kids’. I find that always makes it a bit more appealing! If I’m honest, I tend to think of having a child as a bit of a ‘project’; something to put my efforts into, hopefully transfer some of the good bits, try not to transfer the bad bits… try not to **** them up too much! Could be a “**** it, why not!” adventure :p

Not intending to be rude in saying that, just trying to help you scope out other options! Best of luck with it either way :)
 
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I finally found the best annotation method for ML

Label studio + label studio ml backend

all runs locally, no cloud nonsense or web apps.
a pain in the butt to set up though :O even the annotation label interface is just an empty box for code...
not very helpful either took me ages to get the code I needed for videos... then the timeline bar was too narrow.. oh its mode code in the labelling interface.

even supports training the model when user annotations are submitted, but not for the model I want to use...

guess I need to partially train one on my data set so it can assist... then keep exporting and retraining until it can identify everything i need.

for anyone who wants a head ache
labelstud.io

Label Studio Documentation — YOLO ML Backend for Label Studio

Tutorial on how to use an example ML backend for Label Studio with YOLO
labelstud.io labelstud.io

supposed to use dockers but I get it all working in anaconda environments :O


maybe I can get chatgpt to make the code so yolo is trainable directly :O
 
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I just recreated the Fly Fishing by J R Hartley advert in real life.

My wife is a book editor. She was made redundant last year but has an interview today. She wanted to take a couple of examples of her work with her to show, but she couldn't find the book she wanted to take. So I phoned around a few bookshops near where her interview is today and managed to reserve a copy, then popped some money in her pocket to pay for it.
 
Ahleckz said:
Cheers all. Not really sure what to do! She’s a great girl; and someone I actually thought I’d have a future with. I guess I considered this would happen but did think she was leaning to not wanting kids.
Absolutely can’t fault her view and there’s no ill will. But, I do feel like a condemned man waiting for my hanging!
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Yep it's sucky and nobody's fault. I've split up with two girls that didn't want kids, I did. I met a girl that couldn't have kids, I met a girl that wanted kids but a load of pain and eventually couldn't. I know of a couple that he didn't want kids, she didn't and then one Sunday she woke up an realised she did - they split up after years, and now they settled and she has one.

I think, if it makes it easier, as you get older it's easier to logically justify it. You don't feel the same immaturity of friends and family - they get it.
 
NickK said:
Yep it's sucky and nobody's fault. I've split up with two girls that didn't want kids, I did. I met a girl that couldn't have kids, I met a girl that wanted kids but a load of pain and eventually couldn't. I know of a couple that he didn't want kids, she didn't and then one Sunday she woke up an realised she did - they split up after years, and now they settled and she has one.

I think, if it makes it easier, as you get older it's easier to logically justify it. You don't feel the same immaturity of friends and family - they get it.
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I've seen a lot of perfectly good relationships destroyed by this - which has been kind of weird to see as personally I've always been ambivalent, not in an uncaring way, on this and wouldn't have had regrets either way.
 
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