This might not be a good idea but i'll ask anyhow..

Soldato
Joined
12 May 2005
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8,384
Wasn't sure if I should post this in the PC gamers section or console gamer section, but who here has kids, wife and games each evening if they can?

I do, missus used to bully the life out of me until recently about me playing games. I hardly play games during the daytime, but I just feel once it gets to the evening, then its me time and I fire up my laptop or PS3 and play games.

Granted, I've maybe got more games then hours to spare, but I do try and whilst my online gaming days due to kids etc could be seen as pretty much limited, I do enjoy some good single player games.

Until recently, missus would belittle me when I'd be up at gone 10pm playing a video game, as she'd want me to go to bed at the same time (and no not for sex, but to sleep even though I wasn't tired) and would really have a go at me.

I'm still gaming, and I can't see me stopping, so am I addicted? I can quite easily put the gamepad down for Friday evening date night, won't play video games until little un is in bed, will always drop the gamepad to give the missus a cuddle before bed, then go back downstairs and play a little more, or even some evenings not even play at all..

sometimes I'll use the bedroom telly for a bit of gaming or netflix, in fact I'd rather go out with the missus but when in the home, can't be bothered with junk TV. I prefer gaming or movies, reason I use my laptop or PS3 so much, or have a smart TV in the bedroom for Netflix or movie Streaming..

I used to be made to feel ashamed by the missus to play games, but recently she has really backed off, and has even offered to pay for a PS4 for my birthday in December (good timing) and even lets me play PS3 games upstairs in bed with her whilst she drops off to sleep (I hardly do this though) but it is nice to finally not feel so guilty..

So who else is a family man and had issues with their missus ?
 
If all you do is that then yeh you have issues, but I would say you need to break it up. With me for example im at the gym 4 days a week, or we go snowboarding etc .... do more to show that your not just focused on gaming and she will be fine.
 
She's probably just realised you aren't going to change your gaming habits and realised it's time just to accept it.

Not a family man but if a woman thought it was acceptable to continuously belittle me for wanting to play games a few hours a few nights a week it would be over.

Just as I wouldn't belittle a woman for watching crap TV every night or whatever else it is they do for entertainment.
 
I go out to the pub wednesday evenings and every friday evening is date night where no junk TV, we share a movie with a dinner and early night to bed.

If there are friends to visit or coming over, I do break it up. I don't play games EVERY evening, only if i've got nothing better to do.

I just cant be bothered with most of the TV shows etc apart from top gear..
 
I'm lucky that my wife is understanding when it comes to my gaming. She knew I was a gamer when we started dating 10+ years ago, and she knows I'm not going to change. I do similar to you in that when she goes to bed, I pause whatever I'm playing and go up and give her a cuddle and spent some time with her before going back down to carry on playing. I'm a night person and don't need much sleep, so she doesn't expect me to go to bed at 10pm when she does.

I'm even more lucky that my wife actually likes some games as well. We're currently playing through Diablo 3 together, and she likes games like Rock Band where she gets to have a sing while I play guitar. If a game has a good story as well she's normally quite happy to watch me play it.

I'm even more lucky again in that she hates soaps, reality TV, and X-Factor. She also loves Sci-Fi, Buffy, and the cop drama shows I love, like CSI and Criminal Minds.

I picked a good one :D

Edit: I obviously don't game all the time, but like the OP if I'm in the house, I'd much rather be gaming than watching some generic rubbish on TV.
 
Until recently, missus would belittle me when I'd be up at gone 10pm playing a video game, as she'd want me to go to bed at the same time (and no not for sex, but to sleep even though I wasn't tired) and would really have a go at me.
I used to endure this as well. Why would I want to go to bed at the same time, just to tick a couples box. Like yourselves we have "us" nights where we cook, share a bottle and have a nice evening in together.

It's all about balance, she clearly feels that that balance isn't there and thusly she's moaning at you. Sit down with her and ask her what she thinks is reasonable.

Out of interest, does your Mrs have any "at home" hobbies? Or does she just watch telly and films? My Mrs has no hobbies, at all save for girly TV which I don't count as a hobby. I have loads of interests as do a number of people, and I think some other halves have issues getting their heads around that.

Ultimately though, just talk it out with her to a) find out what she thinks is reasonable and b) get a sanctioned gaming window that you can enjoy without fear of upsetting her. That works for us, and it highlighted to me that the balance was off in our relationship which is why we have set nights for just us - and I pull my weight around the house more to earn my "good boy" time. :D

A friend of mine lives by the adage "happy wife, happy life". He's got a point.
 
Lucky to have an understanding wife..

I think the missus might like Beyond Two Souls, so looking to get this for the weekend. Love how my Steam Sig says i'm in game when actually i'm at work lol Think the boy might be using my Steam account actually..

But anyhow.. Yeah, maybe she's now starting to accept this, I was a gamer before we met, she knew this. Why do women attempt to change men? I don't belittle her facebook addictions.. Or her junky soap or reality telly lol
 
Until recently, missus would belittle me when I'd be up at gone 10pm playing a video game, as she'd want me to go to bed at the same time (and no not for sex, but to sleep even though I wasn't tired)

I can relate to your entire post, but this bit especially!

I'd agree that she's probably just got over herself and realized acceptance is easier than trying to shame you into bed.

I pretty much do exactly the same thing, and she used to moan about it. I do go to bed same time as her a few nights but her bedtime varies a lot so if she's going early then she's got over the fact that I'm staying up playing games. I hope you don't feel any guilt anymore, because the issue is hers.

And yeah, she watches **** on TV equally if not more than I play games. :p
 
No missus has no hobbies, something I reckon is a big problem. she doesn't go out in the evening much at all. I've become her hobby, which i'm not, so gets bored and watches junk telly.

The problems with going be bed, its been a huge issue. I don't need 12 hours sleep. I can function just fine on 6 thank you. I go to bed at midnight, she can be in bed for 9 - 10 most evenings.. sometimes i'll watch a movie in bed and she'll drop off, so i'll get out and go downstairs, if she would notice she'd come down and demand I go back to bed.. What? crazy, thankfully she has stopped doing this..

Reckoned it wasn't normal to stay up till midnight. Erm ok..
 
You need to explain to her you don't need 10 hours sleep or whatever, I'm a night person as well, can happily go to bed at 4 in the morning and wake up at 7 feeling fine.
 
Well its making me feel better, three years now i've battled this, but finally its starting to ease off, so much so I'm starting to admit, I was bullied..

She knows I don't need 12 hours sleep. I can easily go to bed at 2pm and be up for 7am and get the kids ready for the day then be at work for 9am.

Many a time i've gone to bed at 1am, got up at 7am, give the kids breakfast and she'll still be in bed, should I then demand she gets out of bed same time as me? lol

Does anyone reckon I'm addicted or just got a hobby? its great to read others do not sleep long hours as well.
 
Kinda went though this with the Wife, as long as you aren't constantly "on it" so to speak, then there's no real problem is there...just a matter of opinion. As it is, I usually game 1-2, rarely 3 nights a week, say 10pm onwards. Usually on Tue/Thursdays, when Telly is crap :) Friday/Sat nights are out, would rather spend time with the Wife and Kids. Having said that, if she falls asleep on the couch, well :)

Yes, sometimes id like to game more (Hello GTAV), but, it's all about balance.
 
Does anyone reckon I'm addicted or just got a hobby? its great to read others do not sleep long hours as well.

In whose eyes? :) How much do you game a night/week?

Keep in mind, if your other half is telling you that you're addicted she's just trying to make a point and convey her dismay at you preferring to game instead of go to bed at child hours.
 
ooh... Steam profile says i've played 14.4 hours in the past two weeks, the boy has played quite a few of these hours.. this week played 1 - 2 hours PS3 monday evening, played around half hour for a beyond souls demo last night, 10 mins before leaving for work this morning same demo to show the missus, she liked it.

I reckon on average 10 hours a week? Maybe? Some weeks no hours at all if i've got other stuff on, last of us meant I hammered it for a week, but generally i'd say 10 hours ?? Not a lot is it.
 
I have the exact same issues as you do... the way that I see it is that she watches TV all the time and so I don't see it as any different.... she comes in from work and it goes straight on... so I go up stairs and swtich my computer on... she then asks me why I put it on and I say the exact same reason you put the TV on... we don't see eye to eye on this as you can imagine :)

Stelly
 
10 hours a week is nothing, certainly not an addiction, there's probably people on these very forums who do that many hours in a day.
 
10 hours a week is nothing, certainly not an addiction, there's probably people on these very forums who do that many hours in a day.

Yeah her own brother. He clocks up on average 133 hours every two weeks on Steam alone..

Then he games on his PS3 for fifa 13/14, crazy.

I only two weeks ago showed her my steam profile and his, she was just floored. then I said, who plays too many video games?
 
The only issue I have with my girlfriend is she doesn't 'get' gaming at all.

She still thinks it is something only geeks do and is a bit sad, she has no perception of how popular it is now.

For reference I probably play 3 hours a night, 3 or 4 nights a week when she goes to bed.
 
To add, i'd roughly work out 6-10 hours a week, 1/2 (rarely 3) nights, say 10-1am.

Does me fine most of the time, cant deny sometimes I'd like to do more though :)
 
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