This one's for you, Mason-

Soldato
Joined
7 Jul 2009
Posts
16,234
Location
Newcastle/Aberdeen
Angsty teen post warning, if you don't want to be exposed to stupid feelings that mean nothing then leave now.

I wouldn't have done this since it seems too 'attention-seeky', but since you asked... it's complicated. So this isn't going to make any sense.

My long distance girlfriend of about two months just split up with me. It's not my first relationship, but it's the first where it's been anything like that. Where we've been anything as close as that. I think i feel a lot better now than i did yesterday, and this is where it gets complicated. You see, she's polyamorous. This was a new concept to me when we met, but it turned out that i was more comfortable with it than i would have expected. She was going out with someone else since before we met, they split up quite recently too. I was completely cool with her being interested in other people. I've even considered it myself. But if she suddenly tells you that she's made up with an ex who she'd clearly never got over, that they kissed but weren't sure where this left them and asks how you would feel if she broke up with you to try to make it work with him, since he's not comfortable with her being poly. Well i felt like... something i can't say here, and i felt jealous, but i couldn't disagree with her at all. She loved him more, she knew him more and he's there. The worst thing was not knowing. Still technically going out but knowing she could drop you at any minute. Maybe i should have split up with her then, but i couldn't bring myself to do it. Thankfully, i guess, this wasn't for too long and they decided they were going to try to make it work. So i wished them luck, and thanked her. I feel better, but i still feel. She opened me up to this world, one i'd pretty much given up on in high school, and i have no idea where this leaves me.

So there, i opened up to you OcUK in a terrible way that you won't understand at all and that i'm most certainly going to regret later. And that guy who knows my dad, if you're reading, please don't tell him about this :p
 
Associate
Joined
22 May 2011
Posts
1,445
Location
Edinburgh
Not that I am in the slightest bit old-fashioned or less accepting of others, but polyamory just sounds like we're intellectualising having one's cake and eating it too.

Quite!

She naturally feels herself above millions of years worth of evolution and feels she is entitled to 'play the field'.

It hurts. It could have hurt more, it could have hurt less. Learn from it, move on, as a bigger and better person.

If you guys got on as well as stated simply consider this a life lesson in ridiculous women. And if she's ever in town, think twice before the obligatory pasty smashing, you don't wanna re-kindle that flame in your head.

Love, Learn and Live my friend, that's all we can do.
 
Associate
Joined
6 Jan 2011
Posts
1,330
sounds like you need to go to your nearest pub / town and get some JD and cokes down you. then pull a new lass and you'll forget all about her!

i can't ever imagine a ployamerous relationship working, sounds like she was just tying to keep her options open.

Move on! get drunk! get laid and you wont even remember her name.
 
Man of Honour
Joined
28 Nov 2007
Posts
12,688
polyamourous was just called **** in my day (sorry, you're having a rough time etc. but I'm sure there are plenty of women who would be more than happy to have a conventional relationship with you without undermining you by needing multiple partners and presumably exponential attention)

e: wow now they've starred that out I'm going to shelve the coal waste thread I've been planning for sometime
 
Soldato
Joined
19 Mar 2009
Posts
3,413
Location
Hereford
Were you seeing other women during this time also?

If not why would you agree to a relationship like this? Seems insane to me??
 
Soldato
Joined
28 Nov 2004
Posts
16,024
Location
9th Inner Circle
e: wow now they've starred that out I'm going to shelve the coal waste thread I've been planning for sometime

They're starring out so many regular, non offensive words nowadays that soon posts will look like this:

Hi **** is ****** where can I **** PCIe video **** from Overclockers? ********* many thanks. *****

:D
 
Soldato
OP
Joined
7 Jul 2009
Posts
16,234
Location
Newcastle/Aberdeen
Yeah, i get it, thanks guys. Two months may well be nothing when you've had years of experience and dozens of relationships. Well i haven't. And it still matters to me.

I never expected anybody to understand polyamory. But i will say that it's a lot more complex than you may think. Sometimes it's not a choice, sometimes you just are going to develop feelings for someone while you're in a relationship. Repressing them an not acting on them because you're told that they're wrong has a lot in common with being bi or gay. Sexuality is complicated. And you know, give me one good reason why not?
 
Top Bottom