Threatening E-Mail

The Mad Rapper

The Mad Rapper

The Mad Rapper

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I have a son who is fifteen months old. I've been going through the Family Courts for the last year to get access to him. Tomorrow his Mum and I were due to see the Court appointed social worker to arrange more frequent contact and overnight visits etc.

His Mum has basically decided that she doesn't want to go because she does not want me to have any further access then the existing once fortnightly visits. We have exchanged e-mails on the subject today, but they were clearly written by her Dad (he has a very distinct writing style) so I asked him to keep out of it as the situation is already difficult enough.

He replied with a long e-mail basically having a right go at me, part of which states:

'I will defend my family, now including [my son], against any and all onslaughts that you or any other may make which threatens their peace, comfort and wellbeing'.

I percieve this to be an undisguised threat. I read that as 'Back off, or else'.

What can I do? As much as I'd like to, I cannot visit him or do anything that would damage my position in the view of the Court. I must be whiter than white.

I really do not like the idea of him making threats in this way. If I speak to the Police are they likely to do anything? Is there an offence I could have him prosecuted under?
 
whatever his mother and her father feel, you have the right to more time with your son! they can't just decide on their own and fell you to naff off.
 
That's certainly not a threat that the police will recognise. You'll have to weather this one out and make sure you have very good legal representation..
 
I don't think there's anything in it at all. He's just saying they are going to fight you all the way in court, and that they don't consider you part of the family.

Also, the second word in the sentence you quote is DEFEND, and not ATTACK. Therefore, by definition the sentence in non threatening.

Looks like an ugly situation. Do things proper in the court, its the only hope you have of getting what you want.

Don't fry your brain reading things into each and every mail. You all hate each other, and it shows!
 
I wouldn't have anymore contact with her, submit the e-mails to court. Seems like its going to cost a lot in lawyer fees.

I don't know how you both got into this mess but it's a shame you can't talk and be reasonable with each other.

At the end of the day the boy needs a mum and dad, you have a right to see him!

I don't mean for my comments to sound bad, it's just a shame it has got so bad for ya.

:(
 
The Mad Rapper said:
He replied with a long e-mail basically having a right go at me, part of which states:

'I will defend my family, now including [my son], against any and all onslaughts that you or any other may make which threatens their peace, comfort and wellbeing'.

I percieve this to be an undisguised threat. I read that as 'Back off, or else'.

What can I do? As much as I'd like to, I cannot visit him or do anything that would damage my position in the view of the Court. I must be whiter than white.
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Personally, I would reply with something along the lines of:

"I understand how you feel you must defend your family, however, you must realise that (your sons name) is my family too. Can you possibly imagine how you would have felt had you been denied access to your own daughter as she grew up? "

Try to make him realise that he is denying you the thing that he obviously holds with such high regard!

I would reply with that then just inform them that if you can't come to a peaceful solution via email you will have to allow all communication to go through the courts!

On a side note, any reason why her dad feels he has to defend them from you?
 
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Keep on record for the courts, the police will do nothing though as it hardly construes a threat

Afaik the courts take a dim view of families trying to prevent a parent from visitation for their own selfish reasons
 
AHarvey said:
Personally, I would reply with something along the lines of:

"I understand how you feel you must defend your family, however, you must realise that (your sons name) is my family too. Can you possibly imagine how you would have felt had you been denied access to your own daughter as she grew up? "

Try to make him realise that he is denying you the thing that he obviously holds with such high regard!

I would reply with that then just inform them that if you can't come to a peaceful solution via email you will have to allow all communication to go through the courts!

On a side note, any reason why her dad feels he has to defend them from you?
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There is no reasoning with them mate. I have been through this time and again over the last 2 years. They think their view is right and that is that.

My Ex and I had a volatile relationship. I made two formal complaints to the Police about domestic violence during our relationship. I should have walked away a long time before she fell pregnant but didn't because I loved her.

Her Father and I hate each other basically. He thinks he is defending his daughter, but he is basically just making an already difficult situation worse. He funded her legal costs, they have done basically everything possible to prevent my son having anything to do with me. They didn't even tell me he was born, I found out 11 days afterwards by calling the Registrar at the Registry Office.

I have represented myself. So far I have managed to have his birth re-registered naming me as his Dad (they left the Father space blank), I have had his surname changed to include mine and I now see him for 8 hours every other Saturday. There's still a long way to go though.
 
Doesn't sound enough like a threat for anything to be done imo. Without knowing the ins and outs of the situation, probably best to try and keep things civil and do things through the court. Doesn't sound like a fun situation to be in. :(
 
benneh said:
Can you afford legal representation?. If not there surely must be charity that supplies legal aid to fathers Pro bono publico?.

Have a look here; http://www.fnf.org.uk/ and here http://www.fathers-4-justice.org/f4j/ Whatever you do, make sure you have the best representation you can afford.
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Don't bother with Fathers 4 Justice, but do bother with Families Need Fathers (FNF), know them and their work very well after helping with their website backend revamp and they are a great bunch of people who really believe strongly that a child needs both a mother AND a father.
 
Print off the whole conversation and take it to court, I should hope it would go in your favour.

I hate these situations, was a kid and went through it myself it was horrible. Never understand why two adults (or normally one of them) can't be grown up enough to allow their kid not to go through all the crap.
 
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