Toosday Joke

Jimmy Savile did a triathlon in the 70s but after everyone else had finished, he was nowhere to be seen.

They sent out a lifeboat and after a short while they found him bobbing up and down on a small buoy.
 
A man calls to his wife from the bedroom "Come & look at my clock"

His wife stops her cooking and comes to the bedroom and rolls her eyes in irritation. Her husband is lying naked on the bed with a woody.

"Thats not a clock" she says

He replies "It will be, when you put your hands & face on it"

:(
 
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