Caporegime
Each one genuinely funnier than Stewart Lee, apart from the last two.
Top 20 best 'modern' Christmas cracker jokes
- Thread starter Gilly
- Start date
Alan Partridge and Ricky Gervais are both funnier than Stewart Lee.
That's not an achievement.
That's not an achievement.
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I actually lol'd
Bad jokes are no laughing matter.
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What's the difference between Jesus and a painting?
You only need one nail to hang a painting.
You only need one nail to hang a painting.
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Haha, I suppose I did kind of miss the point on this one 
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what's black white and red all over......
a newspaper (read all over)
Caporegime
That was the point I made...
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what's brown and looks in your window.....
a nosey ****e
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what do you call a man with a spade on his head....
what do you call a man without a spade on his head....
what do you call a deer with no eyes...
what do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs....
doug
what do you call a man without a spade on his head....
douglas (less)
what do you call a deer with no eyes...
no idea (no eye'd deer)
what do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs....
still no idea (still no eye'd deer)
Man of Honour
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Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
How do snowmen get around?
What is Santa's favourite pizza?
What's the most popular Christmas wine?
Got my wife a wooden leg for Christmas.
Patient: Doctor, Doctor I'm scared of Santa
A mince spy.
How do snowmen get around?
They ride an icicle.
What is Santa's favourite pizza?
One that's deep pan, crisp and even.
What's the most popular Christmas wine?
'I don't like Brussels sprouts!' (Whine)
Got my wife a wooden leg for Christmas.
Not her main present, it's just a stocking filler.
Patient: Doctor, Doctor I'm scared of Santa
Doctor: You're suffering from Claus-trophobia
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Santa? Surely not
technically it should be Good King Wenceslas' pizza, but don't blame me - it was hasty copy and paste