Want to cook, can't cook

BringTheRain

BringTheRain

BringTheRain

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Ok so being the idiot I am. I offered to cook the missus a meal.

I don't know how to cook anything. Missus or mum has always done it for me :(

What could I cook that won't lead to me killing the missus.

I'm thinking pasta. But she's Italian. So she has that all the time. But I don't know what I could cook

So starter
Main
Desert - will buy this

BTW 29 and can't cook. So makes jokes as you go along ;)
 
It's a shame you can't cook - it's one of life's great pleasures! (Until it goes wrong and you get stroppy... not that I would ever do that of course! ;)).

Have you never tried following a recipe at all?
 
Suggestion for main course:

Poached Trout
Go to Waitrose fish counter, get two trout fillets. To poach, you just need to stick in a saucepan of very hot water for a few minutes. I normally add milk to the saucepan at the end for flavour.

Serve with boiled new potatoes + salad.

Or

Chicken Stir Fry + Rice
Buy some chicken breasts and dice, or buy pre diced. Fry in a saucepan and add a jar of Sharwoods chinese sauce, Kung Po or Sweet Chilli is nice.

Serve with boiled rice.

Hope that helps.

Rgds
 
DAMO RAM80 said:
Ok so being the idiot I am. I offered to cook the missus a meal.

I don't know how to cook anything. Missus or mum has always done it for me :(

What could I cook that won't lead to me killing the missus.

I'm thinking pasta. But she's Italian. So she has that all the time. But I don't know what I could cook

So starter
Main
Desert - will buy this

BTW 29 and can't cook. So makes jokes as you go along ;)
Click to expand...

The most important part is learn when it is cooked.

Chicken - when its white, when it falls off the bone
Vegetable - just take a bite and you will know, it won't kill you (don't do this with chicken lol)
Beef - cut through the thickest part, but you can eat it raw so it doesn't matter
Fish - when it flakes
etc etc etc

Then you learn to season, start with salt and pepper
Then you learn what goes with what, and what doesn't go with what.
Then you learn flavours like spices.

And EXPERIMENT and practice
 
I'm 17 and thought I couldn't cook to save my life, but over the past couple of weeks I've succeeded in making a few basic meals (and desserts ;)). I've also made sure to stay away from anything pre-made, so all sauces and such were made from scratch. Spaghetti with meatballs, chili, beef casserole, stir fry, and steak so far, it turns out everything is much easier than I thought it'd be, so I figured I'd try something really fancy for valentine's day :p
 
radderfire said:
Suggestion for main course:

Poached Trout
Go to Waitrose fish counter, get two trout fillets. To poach, you just need to stick in a saucepan of very hot water for a few minutes. I normally add milk to the saucepan at the end for flavour.

Serve with boiled new potatoes + salad.

Or

Chicken Stir Fry + Rice
Buy some chicken breasts and dice, or buy pre diced. Fry in a saucepan and add a jar of Sharwoods chinese sauce, Kung Po or Sweet Chilli is nice.

Serve with boiled rice.

Hope that helps.

Rgds
Click to expand...

if you are poaching fish the rule of thumb is milk for poaching smoked fish, water for non smoked fish. ;)
 
Were both over weight. So any food. Just as long as it's easy

Nope can't cook anything.

I hate food.

When I was 16 I got a pizza and left two pieces for the next day. Wanted to warm em up and went to microwave. Ahhhaaarrr PIZZA BUTTON. came back 15 mins later to the microwave ON FIRE.

cooked a burger. Wasnt done propley. And was Ill for a week.

Cooked chips. Burnt on the outside. Frozen on the inside.

:(
 
You could go nice and simple, with something like home made burgers in a decent bun along side some nice oven roasted potato wedges. They were both things I started with back when I was learning to cook.

Just get some good quality beef steak mince, add in some finely diced onion, garlic, salt, pepper and what ever other herbs and spices you fancy plus an egg yolk to bind it mix it up with your hands shape into good sized patties and either fry or grill to your liking.
While their cooking split your buns and give them a light toasting chuck on a nice bit of whatever salad you fancy and some cheese.
Then for the wedges give some potatos a quick wash leave the skin on cut them into wedges drizzle some olive oil, chilli powder, garlic powder and whatever else youve got lying around on or buy a packet of wedge seasoning.
Make sure their all coated and stick them in an oven around gas mark 7 for around 30mins or until a knife slides into them easily giving them a turn half way through.

DAMO RAM80 said:
Were both over weight. So any food. Just as long as it's easy

Nope can't cook anything.

I hate food.

When I was 16 I got a pizza and left two pieces for the next day. Wanted to warm em up and went to microwave. Ahhhaaarrr PIZZA BUTTON. came back 15 mins later to the microwave ON FIRE.

cooked a burger. Wasnt done propley. And was Ill for a week.

Cooked chips. Burnt on the outside. Frozen on the inside.

:(
Click to expand...

On 2nd thoughts order in :p
 
This thread is both weird and disturbing.

Why has it taken until you are 29 to want to learn to cook? Warming a pizza up isn't a science nor is cooking some chips.

Can you at least make a cup of tea? :p
 
Well she loves fish.

So trout sounds good. But then I like the idea of stir fry.

But then we love Chips. So potato wedges. Sounds proper cool

I could have a trial run and let my nan taste it :D
 
2StepSteve said:
This thread is both weird and disturbing.

Why has it taken until you are 29 to want to learn to cook? Warming a pizza up isn't a science nor is cooking some chips.

Can you at least make a cup of tea? :p
Click to expand...

I don't want to learn how to cook tbh. Just to cook a meal. Without killing people. I can do tea. But I messed up coffee. Made one the other day. And put about 10 tea spoons of coffee in. Nearly killed myself.
 
How about grilled lamb chops with couscous and mushroom salad?

6-8 lamb chops
A bag of bistro style or leafy salad
Couscous approx 200g
4oz mushrooms chopped
1 small clove of garlic
a little olive oil and a knob of butter.


Grill the chops for 7 minutes per side (brown them a bit), sprinkle a little salt and pepper on each side prior to cooking.

Make couscous as per instructions on the packet (pour on boiling water and leave for 5 minutes).

Use a frying pan to fry some chopped mushrooms and chopped clove of garlic in a knob of butter and a couple or three tablespoons of olive oil. They should take about the same length of time to cook as the lamb chops.

Put generous handfull of salad on each plate, add the mushrooms. Pour any residual oil/butter/garlic onto couscous, stir in and add that to the plates. Then on go the lamb chops. Done :)
 
DAMO RAM80 said:
Were both over weight. So any food. Just as long as it's easy

Nope can't cook anything.

I hate food.

When I was 16 I got a pizza and left two pieces for the next day. Wanted to warm em up and went to microwave. Ahhhaaarrr PIZZA BUTTON. came back 15 mins later to the microwave ON FIRE.

cooked a burger. Wasnt done propley. And was Ill for a week.

Cooked chips. Burnt on the outside. Frozen on the inside.

:(
Click to expand...

Pizza in the microwave to warm up? like 1 min MAX lol

You need to learn TIMING, that's the first rule.
Learn measurements - second rule.

Seriously, follow recipes, its dead simple.

Start small, boil and egg and make toasts.

Learn to boil it in different ways. Soft, hard. Or the energy saving method where you boil the water for only 3 minutes, then let the egg sit in it for another 8 mins. Take it out, and it'll be soft boil like you boil it with the gas on full wack for 6 minutes.

Start with that lol
 
DAMO RAM80 said:
Well she loves fish.

So trout sounds good. But then I like the idea of stir fry.

But then we love Chips. So potato wedges. Sounds proper cool

I could have a trial run and let my nan taste it :D
Click to expand...

lol.
if you even burn chips, or undercook burgers, then
can you not cheat?
go to asda's or tesco's and buy some ready meals, albeit the extra special ones.
there is no point in hiding the boxes and getting brownie points, as she knows already you cannot cook
or even just roast a chicken, and serve it with a mixed salad
 
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