Soldato
What Do you Call A scouser in a suit?
The Defendant
The Defendant
Wednesday joke
- Thread starter richard smith
- Start date
Associate
An Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by
Almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls
> That could move apart and then slide together again. The boy asked,
> "What is
> This Father?"
>
> The father, never having seen an elevator, responded "Son, I have > never
> seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."
>
> While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old
> lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a > button.
> The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. > The
> walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular
> numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch
> until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light > in
> the reverse order.
> Finally, the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year old blonde
> stepped out.
>
> The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to
> his son
> ........... "Go get your mother."
Almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls
> That could move apart and then slide together again. The boy asked,
> "What is
> This Father?"
>
> The father, never having seen an elevator, responded "Son, I have > never
> seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."
>
> While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old
> lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a > button.
> The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. > The
> walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular
> numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch
> until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light > in
> the reverse order.
> Finally, the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year old blonde
> stepped out.
>
> The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to
> his son
> ........... "Go get your mother."
Permabanned
Izzy you've made my day!
Soldato
This was emailed to me today by a mate. Now I know where he got this from. Cheeky git.
Suspended
- Joined
- 18 Dec 2007
- Posts
- 833
This thread is the best joke thread iv seen for a while, after the one about women obv.
Is that thread still around?
dP
Is that thread still around?
dP
Soldato
The OP's joke failed at:
Loving the Jade eviction one though!
Don't know where the joke was written, but the UK doesn't charge for them.
Loving the Jade eviction one though!
Soldato
Expensive for the NHS.
Soldato
The Australian wouldn't be drinking Fosters, they don't even like it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foster's_Lager#Australian_market
Soldato
I lost my virginity to a disabled girl last night.
I always wanted my first time to be special.
I always wanted my first time to be special.
Soldato
wheres that sheep image when you need it....
Caporegime
What do you call a Scouse bird in a white shell suit?
The bride.
Two Scousers in a car with no music on. Who's driving?
The police.
Associate
NEWS FLASH
"A bus full of scousers has turned over and caught fire on the M57. All 30 passengers were incinerated.
Police describe their condition as satisfactory"
"A bus full of scousers has turned over and caught fire on the M57. All 30 passengers were incinerated.
Police describe their condition as satisfactory"
Permabanned
hehe not bad.
To the tune of "you are my sunshine":
You are a Scouser,
A dirty Scouser.
You're only happy,
On Giro day.
Your Mum's out stealing!
Your Dad's drug dealing!
Please don't take,
My hubcaps away!
To the tune of "you are my sunshine":
You are a Scouser,
A dirty Scouser.
You're only happy,
On Giro day.
Your Mum's out stealing!
Your Dad's drug dealing!
Please don't take,
My hubcaps away!
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Man of Honour
It was Friday evening in Liverpool, and having just received their Dole cheque, Gaz and Baz were trying to decide where to go that night.
"I know," said Baz, "There's a great club in town we ought to try."
"What's it like?" asks Gaz.
"Well, you go into the club up to the bar where they give you a free drink. Then you go upstairs for a shag. Then you go back to the bar and have another free drink. After twenty minutes you go upstairs for another shag.
After this, you go to the bar again and have another free drink and then go upstairs again and have another shag! After this you go downstairs, have a final drink and leave. On the way out they give you a hundred quid and you go home."
"Wow!" said Gaz, "That sounds great. Have you been before?"
"No," said Baz, "but my sister has."
"I know," said Baz, "There's a great club in town we ought to try."
"What's it like?" asks Gaz.
"Well, you go into the club up to the bar where they give you a free drink. Then you go upstairs for a shag. Then you go back to the bar and have another free drink. After twenty minutes you go upstairs for another shag.
After this, you go to the bar again and have another free drink and then go upstairs again and have another shag! After this you go downstairs, have a final drink and leave. On the way out they give you a hundred quid and you go home."
"Wow!" said Gaz, "That sounds great. Have you been before?"
"No," said Baz, "but my sister has."
Soldato
some of best joke for a while.
News Flash!
Police have closed off parts liverpool city centre today, as a suspisious looking car was found abandoned.
On closer inspection it was found fully taxed, with all wheels on and radio intact.
News Flash!
Police have closed off parts liverpool city centre today, as a suspisious looking car was found abandoned.
On closer inspection it was found fully taxed, with all wheels on and radio intact.
Associate
Copper knocks at the door of a Liverpool council house. A little kid answers, not a day over ten, smoking a spliff with a can of beer in his hand.
"What the **** do you want?" says the kid.
"Hello son, is your mum or dad in?" asks the Police man.
The kid looks at him in amazement, "Does it ****ing look like it?"
"What the **** do you want?" says the kid.
"Hello son, is your mum or dad in?" asks the Police man.
The kid looks at him in amazement, "Does it ****ing look like it?"
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