What do you get from getting married?

LordSplodge said:
It shouldn't. It diminishes over time but that happens married or not. No reason that a married couple shouldn't still be sexually active even as pensioners (try not to picture a mental image of that)

The trouble is, going slightly off topic here, that society and the media is obsessed with the amount and type of sex people have. This then leads to some kind of anxiety that your sex life isn't like what is described in these magazines. As long as you and the other half are happy with your sex life it shouldn't matter, but that doesn't sell magazines. Oh and 'mens*' magazines are just as bad. I should set up a company offering psychology for this 21st century problem, I'd be minted.


* I use that term lightly. I mean Men's Fitness and ilk.
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I was kidding btw:D:p
 
psyk_one said:
In return, bloke gets companionship :rolleyes:

It's a wonder why we do it, it doesn't make any economic sense no matter how you look at it.
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He also get automatic parental responsibility of his child(ren). His wife also gets a portion of his pension and a shed load of other benefits.

However, as others have said, you don't get married because of these benefits - if you do then you're doing ti wrong. You do it because you plan on spending the rest of your life with the woman (or man) you love.
 
I personally see absolutely no reason to get married at all.

It really isn't a big commitment that people make it out to be, it's signing a legal document, getting a mortgage with your partner is a big commitment, having children is an even bigger commitment! I don't need to make a statement to the world of my love for another purpose or prove anything as the only person that needs to know that is my partner and I know that they do. Fortunately for me she feels exactly the same!

With the money I would spend on one "memorable day" I could have 20 memorable days.
 
Why is it that almost everyone who says "It isn't a Big Deal" equates this with "I'm not doing it"? If it's not a big deal, then why not get married? It seems to me that actually you think it is a big deal, which is why you prefer not to be married.
 
Nevakonaza said:
I don't see the point in marriage to be honest,It doesn't change anything...if you love someone what does it matter if your married or not...just my view.
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I tend to have the same feeling and don't see why you should differentiate a lifelong partner from a spouse. Sad reality is is that there are legal consequences to being officially married.
 
I've been married 12 years and while I have no intentions of ending it, I certainly wouldn't get married again if it were to ever end.
 
platypus said:
[..]
Perhaps I should be asking you why "Marriage doesn't show commitment for you", when by any sensible logic a marriage of a number of years surely shows commitment, the availability of Divorce being easy or impossible to obtain is surely irrelevant?
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By the same logic, painting a wall magnolia shows commitment. After all, if you live together in a house for 20 years after painting a wall magnolia, that shows commitment.

I would (and have) argued that it's the time that shows the commitment, not the colour of the walls or the entry in the government records or what colour your shoes are or whatever.

"Marriage + commitment = commitment" does not mean that marriage = commitment. If anything, it emphasises that marriage has nothing to do with the commitment.

Now I am done belabouring the obvious. Agree or disagree as you please, it's nothing to me.
 
Angilion said:
By the same logic, painting a wall magnolia shows commitment. After all, if you live together in a house for 20 years after painting a wall magnolia, that shows commitment.

I would (and have) argued that it's the time that shows the commitment, not the colour of the walls or the entry in the government records or what colour your shoes are or whatever.

"Marriage + commitment = commitment" does not mean that marriage = commitment. If anything, it emphasises that marriage has nothing to do with the commitment.

Now I am done belabouring the obvious. Agree or disagree as you please, it's nothing to me.
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Marriage does show commitment both at the time and as long as the marriage continues, that doesn't preclude other forms of expressing commitment or that even if you are married that you can show a lack of commitment to that marriage...

if anything time is meaningless as you can be married or cohabiting for 50 years, but if you have spent that 50 years cheating and gallivanting about it doesn't illustrate that you took the commitment seriously and therefore it can be argued that you didn't show the required amount of commitment. Therefore I would argue that it is not time, but actions that illustrate your commitment to a relationship and marriage is one way of expressing that through an action that is generally regarded as formalising a union and making a vow to each other in front of witnesses that publicly declares your commitment to each other.

For many people marriage represents a psychological, personal and social commitment that they would not have if they were simply cohabiting, this again doesn't devalue others commitment outside of marriage, it only represents an expression of commitment within their particular relationship.
 
When things are going right, marriage is nothing more than a public declaration of love and committment.

When things go wrong, marriage is crucial. Next of kin with regard to medical treatment, automatic PR of kids, far more protections for the spouse on death (IHT 0% band transfer, pension rights, even the right to arrange a funeral). For many of the legal/financial benefits of marriage, there is no way to create them without actually getting married. Even when you split up, the protections can help the bloke. Put all your savings in the wife's name for tax planning? If you are married you can get them back.
 
Castiel said:
Marriage does show commitment both at the time and as long as the marriage continues, that doesn't preclude other forms of expressing commitment or that even if you are married that you can show a lack of commitment to that marriage...

if anything time is meaningless as you can be married or cohabiting for 50 years, but if you have spent that 50 years cheating and gallivanting about it doesn't illustrate that you took the commitment seriously and therefore it can be argued that you didn't show the required amount of commitment. Therefore I would argue that it is not time, but actions that illustrate your commitment to a relationship and marriage is one way of expressing that through an action that is generally regarded as formalising a union and making a vow to each other in front of witnesses that publicly declares your commitment to each other.

For many people marriage represents a psychological, personal and social commitment that they would not have if they were simply cohabiting, this again doesn't devalue others commitment outside of marriage, it only represents an expression of commitment within their particular relationship.
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That's a convincing argument. I'll change my position a bit as a result.
 
^TANK^ said:
+1 its over rated.
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+2
had a 10 year marriage, well legally we are still married so almost 12 years now :eek: (obviously didnt end badly or we would have rushed a divorce through)

never again tbh just seems a massive waste of time and money, the women obviously want it for the "big day" but beyond that its more hassle than its worth

married women arent even considered "off limits" by most these days as previous ocuk threads have shown
 
Castiel said:
Marriage does show commitment both at the time and as long as the marriage continues, that doesn't preclude other forms of expressing commitment or that even if you are married that you can show a lack of commitment to that marriage...

if anything time is meaningless as you can be married or cohabiting for 50 years, but if you have spent that 50 years cheating and gallivanting about it doesn't illustrate that you took the commitment seriously and therefore it can be argued that you didn't show the required amount of commitment. Therefore I would argue that it is not time, but actions that illustrate your commitment to a relationship and marriage is one way of expressing that through an action that is generally regarded as formalising a union and making a vow to each other in front of witnesses that publicly declares your commitment to each other.

For many people marriage represents a psychological, personal and social commitment that they would not have if they were simply cohabiting, this again doesn't devalue others commitment outside of marriage, it only represents an expression of commitment within their particular relationship.
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+1 good post
 
Castiel said:
Marriage does show commitment both at the time and as long as the marriage continues, that doesn't preclude other forms of expressing commitment or that even if you are married that you can show a lack of commitment to that marriage...

if anything time is meaningless as you can be married or cohabiting for 50 years, but if you have spent that 50 years cheating and gallivanting about it doesn't illustrate that you took the commitment seriously and therefore it can be argued that you didn't show the required amount of commitment. Therefore I would argue that it is not time, but actions that illustrate your commitment to a relationship and marriage is one way of expressing that through an action that is generally regarded as formalising a union and making a vow to each other in front of witnesses that publicly declares your commitment to each other.

For many people marriage represents a psychological, personal and social commitment that they would not have if they were simply cohabiting, this again doesn't devalue others commitment outside of marriage, it only represents an expression of commitment within their particular relationship.
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Perhaps, however considering the sheer amount of divorces since WW2, i doubt "many" is the correct word.

Though again perhaps society is just changing to a more suitable system, it seems people are beginning to marry later in life, which would be more suitable i guess considering the vastly different lifespans from 60-100 years ago, young marriage will probably still happen, but I highly doubt the same credibility will be attached as the generation barrier falls.
 
StriderX said:
Perhaps, however considering the sheer amount of divorces since WW2, i doubt "many" is the correct word.
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Peoples expectations have changed I guess, especially now. The meaning of marriage and what it entails has also changed.

I think the numbers getting marriage will continue to diminish in the future as more people than ever are saying 'whats the point'.
 
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