No I'm not. Just shocked at some of the responses (when arguably I shouldn't be !)
I'd actually argue the arguably, considering the majority demographic of these forums!
No I'm not. Just shocked at some of the responses (when arguably I shouldn't be !)
Are you seriously wondering why relationship advice on a computer geeks forum is rubbish?
I'd actually argue the arguably, considering the majority demographic of these forums!
RANT:
I'm 35, and have been happily married for nearly 13 years. I find with every passing week that I am more and more besotted with my wife.
Are you seriously wondering why relationship advice on a computer geeks forum is rubbish?
To the shallow: I wave my fat hairy bottom in disdain in your general direction.
To the real men: I salute you good sirs.
I'm hoping not every bloke is as one dimensional as what has been evidenced in this forum!
I hear what you are saying and I respect that. My question to you then is: "How do you define whether someone is "the one""?
I'm advocating that the shallow responses like "she aint giving me a thrill anymore" or "we argue all the time" are not valid in light of the need to work at a relationship to get the best out of it. People give up too easily at the first sign of difficulty.......and not just in relationships I might add.
Sound to me like you are so happily ingrained in your own relationship that you seem to have forgot that your way of having relationships isn't the only way of having relationships and that no one way is any more valid than another.
If people on this forum want to jump from relationship to relationship without building up deep emotional commitments then who are you to say they are wrong?
[snip]
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Completely agree with the OP. This forum seems to be further and further from the outside world as time progresses. Some of the responses are cringeworthy from people who have obviously never experienced the emotions that normal people would. Gets tiring reading page after page of alpha male rubbish from clueless geeks.
Shame really as this forum used to be a good read!
cba to answer....too difficult
I can't "define" whether someone is "the one". I've been in a couple of relationships where I've been totally and deeply in love with the other person and at the time I could have imagined spending the rest of my life with them. For whatever reason those relationships ended and looking back its probably for the best. I've met girls who I know aren't right for me and have lasted a couple of dates (if that), others (one in particular) who changed my idea of what I wanted completely. That doesn't make the relationships and the feelings I had before any less real it just makes me think.......how can I seriously commit to someone (ie. marriage) when I don't even know what I want?
Perhaps the "imaginary generic poster"™ is trying to make it work but is having to face up to the reality that it might not last, perhaps he *is* lazy, perhaps he's the sort of person who would take a promise of a phone call then no contact as the beginning of the end, perhaps the internet is his only source of information and opinion, perhaps he's actually gay but wants to appear alpha!The amount of work going in to the relationship is going to depend on the person and their personality and how highly they prioritise it.
The thing about the forums is that for every "dump her" there's a "work at it"![]()
a bloke gets married for *snip* sex.
RANT:
Following on from the recent relationship threads and the frankly "ludicrous" advice being given I'm completely amazed at how young people today have little concept of responsibility, true love and commitment.
Stupid excuses like "the sparks gone out of the relationship" are greeted with pathetic 15 year old responses like "dump her and bone a fresh one" or "it wasn't meant to be" which openly reveal a degree of selfishness and immaturity that makes me want to vomit.
If the "spark" has gone, why don't you explore new ways to light your woman's fire? (I'm not just talking sexually here). Are today's young people so utterly devoid of conversational skills and so totally shallow that relationships are all about sex and nothing else?
I'm 35, and have been happily married for nearly 13 years. I find with every passing week that I am more and more besotted with my wife. We click on every level and have had both ups and downs but you know what, we BOTH work hard at our marriage and thats why it works.
Where is the dedication to make things work in this generation?
Where is the sense of satisfaction received from putting aside selfishness and focussing on your partner for a change?
To the shallow: I wave my fat hairy bottom in disdain in your general direction.
To the real men: I salute you good sirs.
I'm hoping not every bloke is as one dimensional as what has been evidenced in this forum!
END RANT
Like it or not relationships are not "disposable".
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Most young people have short-term relationships, learn from them and move on. Most people break these relationships for good reasons, and learn to be more careful with chosing their next partner. Eventually most people will find "the one" and settle down, but how are you to know if your partner is indeed "the one" until you have experienced several instance of "not the one"!?!?!?!?"Its almost akin to seeing a girl as a piece of meat to be used or conquered".
To do so would be to degrade and devalue the opposite sex and who are you to place a value on another human being?