What is it with blokes today?

dmpoole said:
I've been with my woman for 34 years and 28 of those we've been married.
I can tell you now that if the sex dried up it would fail.
IMHO a woman gets married for security and a bloke gets married for regular sex.
Yes I am shallow.
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LOL!

At least you are honest ! :)
 
tbz_ck said:
its not as simple as that though is it! Every relationship however brief forms emotional ties. The breaking of those ties "can" cause pain for either or both parties. Not always, but it frequently does.

Like it or not relationships are not "disposable". To see them as such is not right in my opinion. Its almost akin to seeing a girl as a piece of meat to be used or conquered. That's not to say that you can't ever break a relationship, I'm not saying that. At the crux of it I'm saying that relationships should not be entered into "lightly, or wantonly, or to fulfill man's carnal lusts" ;) To do so would be to degrade and devalue the opposite sex and who are you to place a value on another human being?

:)
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In my opinion it is as simple as that!

How are you to form a deep meaningful relationship without first forming a few superficial bonds? What if during that stage you realise that actually there isn't going to be a relationship because you don't have anything in common or you find you have different views or values. If that's the case surely its better to "dump her" than working at something that you're not interested in. You're seeing it far to black and white, proper committed relationship or nothing. In reality we're far more complex and there's an enormous amount of grey.

You didn't answer my earlier question about whether or not you've had relationships with anyone other than your wife.
 
tbz_ck said:
I hear what you are saying and I respect that. My question to you then is: "How do you define whether someone is "the one""?
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Reminded me of this :p
commitmentyt8.png


I don't think there is such a thing as "the one" or fate, if people have someone they found and just clicked and get on extremely well, that's great but I'd put that down to the people being friendly and accepting, not fate or being "the one"

tbz_ck said:
Like it or not relationships are not "disposable". To see them as such is not right in my opinion. Its almost akin to seeing a girl as a piece of meat to be used or conquered. That's not to say that you can't ever break a relationship, I'm not saying that. At the crux of it I'm saying that relationships should not be entered into "lightly, or wantonly, or to fulfill man's carnal lusts" ;) To do so would be to degrade and devalue the opposite sex and who are you to place a value on another human being?
:)
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it's not just men who have carnal lusts though, women do too and sex shouldn't be at all degrading to either person. if both parties know it's not going to be a full blown relationship and equally want sex, then i see no problem with it, it's just when people become misleading and hint that they want a relationship that people start to get hurt.
 
tbz_ck said:
LOL!

At least you are honest ! :)
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And because I get it regular I have never wandered.
Even at my advanced age I still get offers when I go out with my rock band because of beer goggles.
My wifes mum told her when she was very young "If you want to keep a man, keep him regular".
 
Moley said:
Going to have to disagree with you there old chum, in todays society relationships most certainly are disposable. Just look at the tabloids for examples of "celebrity" marriages that last just 18 months for example. I use the celebrity example simply because of the huge influence wielded over the rest of the populace.

I think its a little simplistic to describe young peoples relationship hopping as
Most young people have short-term relationships, learn from them and move on. Most people break these relationships for good reasons, and learn to be more careful with chosing their next partner. Eventually most people will find "the one" and settle down, but how are you to know if your partner is indeed "the one" until you have experienced several instance of "not the one"!?!?!?!?

I really don't understand why you think that relationships shouldn't be entered into "lightly, or wantonly, or to fulfill man's carnal lusts". Seems like some of the best relationships are formed from those very begininngs. Hell if I hadn't had exactly those kinds of feelings and thoughts toward Mrs Moley we wouldn't be together today. I certainly hope that when we are old we are still together and still feel just as strongly towards each other!



Nowhere in my post did I suggest so low regard for human life, your sentence construction has attributed that to me. Please don't do that again.
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I'm not saying that you don't value or regard human life. If you interpreted that from my post I apologise. It was a "general" comment not specifically aimed at you.

Onto your points:

Regarding the "disposable" element I'm arguing that relationships shouldn't be seen as disposable. I know full well societies popular view to the contrary and I disagree with it on account of the hurt that broken relationships can cause. Heck, just look at "magic_x" thread and imagine how he is feeling right now! I'm not saying that you can't learn from failed relationships, I'm also not saying that you don't find out what you want and don't want from experiencing different relationships. I AM saying that there is a blatant lack of effort for the most part amongst the young in particular in re-invigorating relationships before they are written off as a hopeless case.

I'm also saying that there is a depth of relationship, trust, comfort that you can only experience as a result of quality time over many years in a relationship. I'm saddened that society as a whole doesn't value and on the whole doesn't experience that depth of relationship.


I'm off home. Catch ya on the flipside.
 
DAvE18 said:
mariage is pointless and a waste of money. And while were on it relationships are pointless aswell.
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I'm afraid I have to disagree..marriage isnt the be all and end all...but being in a happy fulfilling relationship does make you feel better..and people can be happy together without being married, they are still together after all
 
I can honestly say my chappie is one of the "real men" he takes the time to work through the hard times with me and wants to change certain things to make the relationship better and we grow stronger because of it :)

And this in turn makes me realise how special a guy like him is because of our ages, there arent many like that.
 
dmpoole said:
I've been with my woman for 34 years and 28 of those we've been married.
I can tell you now that if the sex dried up it would fail.
IMHO a woman gets married for security and a bloke gets married for regular sex.
Yes I am shallow.
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Not nesesscarily, blokes dont have to get married to have regular sex, they can just have regular sex with lots of different people or just be in a relationship.

But i see what you mean :rolleyes:
 
MTA99 said:
In my opinion it is as simple as that!

How are you to form a deep meaningful relationship without first forming a few superficial bonds? What if during that stage you realise that actually there isn't going to be a relationship because you don't have anything in common or you find you have different views or values. If that's the case surely its better to "dump her" than working at something that you're not interested in. You're seeing it far to black and white, proper committed relationship or nothing. In reality we're far more complex and there's an enormous amount of grey.

You didn't answer my earlier question about whether or not you've had relationships with anyone other than your wife.
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Yes I dated quite a few woman before I found "the one". Reluctantly I hurt, or was hurt (by) most of them.

I think you are misunderstanding my main point which relates to the initial rant (opening post) in the thread. Mainly that society as a whole is far too quick to write off relationships as dead without really trying very hard for whatever reason to give life to a relationship (particularly among the young). Its symptomatic of the "fast food/takeway" culture in which we live. Don't like it? Get another and to hell with the consequences!

(see my reply to Moley for other thoughts)

ck
 
There are too many material distractions and too much emphesis on building an ego these days.

A lot of people want minimal effort and maximum reward, because that is the way everything else is advertised in our society. Others don't seem to understand what a relationship is really about and just have a partner as someone to shag and knock about with so they don't get bored.

Others are in needy selfish relationships where they use somone else to make themselves feel better about their own failings. Usually these relationships are conditional and as soon as the other person does not meet their needs they suddenly fall out of "love" with them.
 
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tbz_ck said:
RANT:

Following on from the recent relationship threads and the frankly "ludicrous" advice being given I'm completely amazed at how young people today have little concept of responsibility, true love and commitment.

Stupid excuses like "the sparks gone out of the relationship" are greeted with pathetic 15 year old responses like "dump her and bone a fresh one" or "it wasn't meant to be" which openly reveal a degree of selfishness and immaturity that makes me want to vomit. :mad:

If the "spark" has gone, why don't you explore new ways to light your woman's fire? (I'm not just talking sexually here). Are today's young people so utterly devoid of conversational skills and so totally shallow that relationships are all about sex and nothing else?

I'm 35, and have been happily married for nearly 13 years. I find with every passing week that I am more and more besotted with my wife. We click on every level and have had both ups and downs but you know what, we BOTH work hard at our marriage and thats why it works.

Where is the dedication to make things work in this generation?

Where is the sense of satisfaction received from putting aside selfishness and focussing on your partner for a change?

To the shallow: I wave my fat hairy bottom in disdain in your general direction.

To the real men: I salute you good sirs.

I'm hoping not every bloke is as one dimensional as what has been evidenced in this forum!

END RANT
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/sign

I've only been married for two and a half years, but some of the threads (and responses) on this forum leave my jaw on the floor. :eek:
 
Karl said:
A few people in one of those relationship threads told the bloke to absolutely humiliate the girl who was cheating on him in some pretty horrendous ways. I doubt they'd do it themselves, it's more of a fantasy thing.
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That would be me :)

I wouldn't call it a fantasy and yes, I would go out of my way to humiliate her.

Call it childish if you like..
 
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