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Well, most young people are just shallow and can't see past their instincts. You can't blame them though, it's just the way they are, they have no conscious control over it.
What is it with blokes today?
- Thread starter tbz_ck
- Start date
Ive been with my girlfriend for just shy of 2 years now and my first "proper" relationship, we are still strong but the excitement seems to have faded as im sure it does after this amount of time, nothing is new as such, you arent learning all about one another. Yes we have had bad times but we have worked at them and still with one another today, I do however feel there is only so much working at a relationship people can do, if it still doesnt feel good after working hard at it then I think then its time people went seperate ways.
I have to be honest here and although sex is a great advantage of a relationship its not the be all and end all of it, I think the other attractions to being in a relationship keep us together more than the sex life.
I have to be honest here and although sex is a great advantage of a relationship its not the be all and end all of it, I think the other attractions to being in a relationship keep us together more than the sex life.
We've been married for 23 years and the thing that I think makes it work is that we are best friends first and foremost. I believe that many younger people do not realise how important it is to be friends and lovers. The couple should connect on both physical and mental levels and some younger people don't have the time to develop this as there is so much pressure to work and earn.
Incidentally, I think that generally people posting on this forum know when they need to be serious, such as on the 'Depressed' thread, and when to be light hearted. I enjoy the forum and wouldn't change much about it.
Incidentally, I think that generally people posting on this forum know when they need to be serious, such as on the 'Depressed' thread, and when to be light hearted. I enjoy the forum and wouldn't change much about it.
Consigliere
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- 12 Jun 2004
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I am shallow and proud. 
RANT:
Following on from the recent relationship threads and the frankly "ludicrous" advice being given I'm completely amazed at how young people today have little concept of responsibility, true love and commitment.
Stupid excuses like "the sparks gone out of the relationship" are greeted with pathetic 15 year old responses like "dump her and bone a fresh one" or "it wasn't meant to be" which openly reveal a degree of selfishness and immaturity that makes me want to vomit.
If the "spark" has gone, why don't you explore new ways to light your woman's fire? (I'm not just talking sexually here). Are today's young people so utterly devoid of conversational skills and so totally shallow that relationships are all about sex and nothing else?
I'm 35, and have been happily married for nearly 13 years. I find with every passing week that I am more and more besotted with my wife. We click on every level and have had both ups and downs but you know what, we BOTH work hard at our marriage and thats why it works.
Where is the dedication to make things work in this generation?
Where is the sense of satisfaction received from putting aside selfishness and focussing on your partner for a change?
To the shallow: I wave my fat hairy bottom in disdain in your general direction.
To the real men: I salute you good sirs.
I'm hoping not every bloke is as one dimensional as what has been evidenced in this forum!
END RANT
youre married, I would expect anyone that is married to have the dedication and put in the effort to make it continue that you speak about, if youre not married however....the world is your oyster. You should only ever get married when certain you want to spend the rest of your lives together, its not about the spark being gone at all
Consigliere
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- SW17
I agree. I am extremely reluctant to get married until i truly work out whether i'd be happy or not. Admittedly the only way of finding it is by getting married but others may argue why should people have to make a relationship 'official' with a ceremony and a bit of paper.
I've did all of the above, though I wouldn't like to pin any of my decisions to be in those relationships as having anything to do with society.
I think what happens is as you grow and mature you look for different things in a relationship. When I was younger, having someone to knock about with and have a regular shag was my idea of bliss. It's only through time and experience did i move on from that and onto wanting more.
Ive been in a relationship where ive been needy, where ive been unhappy within myself and needed that other person to plug the gap in my wellbeing. It's only through really looking at myself and into what I need to make me happy does having someone else become the icing on the cake, rather than the cake itself.
Back to the original poster...
Your advice is biased (it seems that because hard work and dedication paid off for you that you think this is what we need more of in general).
I think you have to know the facts of the individual relationship before deciding the path of the relationship.
My last relationship for example, I ended after 7 months. Had I stuck it out with the girl we might well have been happy in 10 years time, we might not. I guess what it boils down to is the potential you see in the person youre with. If you see the potential of something amazing you will stick it out and put the work in, If however things arent so clear cut and you aren't so sure then sometimes it's just too big a risk for what is potentially a bad investement.
I suppose in my quest for a high quality woman with which to share my life I may end up happy or I may end up alone, but ultimately I'd rather reach for the sky and land in the mud than just aim for the mud and make it.
This post was far too long,
night night folk