Here's the guide to British newspapers:
The Daily Mirror is read by people who think they run the country;
The Guardian is read by people who think they ought to run the country;
The Times is read by people who actually do run the country;
The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country and think Hitler was rather a nice chap [1].
The Financial Times is read by people who own the country;
The Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country;
The Daily Telegraph is read by people who think it already is.
The Sun is read by people who don’t care who runs the country, as long as she’s got big ****.
The Daily Sport is read by people who don't know what a country is. But they like ****!
The Star is read by people who think that everyone should run their own country, with girls with BIG ****!
The Express is read by people who hate their country, everybody else's country and themselves, and everything in general.
The Independent is read by people who own the newspapers.
