What to do with a giant pumpkin?

Scuzi

Scuzi

Scuzi

Man of Honour
Joined
18 Oct 2002
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I have a pair of rather sizeable pumpkins (ho ho) and I don’t know what to do with them. I have preempted the inevitable “shove it up your arse” suggestion but I can confirm that there isn’t enough lubrication in the world to make that happen.

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Builders bucket for scale. I haven’t yet weighed them but I’d estimate around 50Kg for the bigger one and 35Kg for the smaller one. I’ll weight them later.

They’re not edible and they will rot before Halloween. I originally planned to carve them but the vine gave up early so here we are.

I thought I could perform a random act of kindness and leave them on someone’s doorstep, but given the dimensions it would be too cumbersome to do incognito.

I also considered blowing them up, but I don’t have access to explosives or sufficiently sized private property to contain the fallout.

Suggestions?
 
well it's nearly that time of year - so a couple of humongous scary jack-o-lanterns is the obvious way to go. :p

edit: - didn't realise they'd rot before holloween.....crap one!
 
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Participant said:
Use it as a catheter balloon.
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Somewhat on topic but I just heard about human decanting of wine at fancy parties. They drain the waiter’s bladder, refill it with wine, and have the waiters walk around and decant it directly into the glass. Your idea would enable exceptional capacity.

Man-Meat said:
Cut hole and have your way with it.
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It’s a bit cold. If only I could microwave it for 30s beforehand.

Feek said:
That's incredible, I'm just intrigued how you manage to grow them that size, let's have some details please.
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Good lineage is important. Buying seeds from previous big pumpkin record holders helps. Otherwise it’s just regular feeding and watering on a daily basis, and keeping them in shade so they don’t harden off before they’ve reached their size potential.

Hawk Tuah said:
Wait a month and carve a silly face into it?
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I expect these pumpkins will be puddles in a month.

DJMK4 said:
What the hell is that


Looks like its spent about 1 year growing in the Chernobyl exclusion zone


its massive
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Why thank you. My pumpkins aren’t bad either.

Minusorange said:
Why were you growing them if you have no use for them ?

Make some pumpkin pie
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I need some way to assert my masculine superiority and dominance over the other middle aged men in the area. Also because I thought it would be fun. I grew two 7 years ago which were bigger than both of my children together at the time and that was enjoyable. Those lasted until Halloween and they made epic carving canvasses.


Rai200 said:
Build a giant pumpkin cannon and deliver them to your neighbors at high speed.
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Perhaps a wheelie bin would work as a cannon?

200sols said:
Normal pumpkins, winter squashes etc dont why should this one? Properly harvested and stored they should last well into next year.
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You’re right, they should. However the vine deteriorated quite quickly and I suspect the ick has made its way into the pumpkins. I might just leave them out and take a chance though.

Hawk Tuah said:
Why would it rot before Halloween? Have you cut them off the plant they were growing on?

I've got a couple growing in the vegetable plot that are awaiting Halloween.
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I’ve had to cut them off the vine early as it became diseased.
 
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